RMiddleton

I see a post, a place I'd rather be. The money it would take to be there! (& the environmental harm!!)

Same video on open source mirror: https://yewtu.be/qNPbokfyotY

Realizing that I may never enjoy travel again but as a USAmerican I'm closer to that lifestyle than the majority of Earthlings. That's what Americans do not want to give up, I think. Their relative privilege. “If the world is closer to destruction than ever I may as well enjoy it.” Liberals think this! “The world has never been fair and equal, that's not my fault. Why should I suffer for things that aren't my fault?” Not realizing or believing that our privilege also gives us disproportionate power to make the world better. Maybe the Earth is closer to destruction than ever before; it's also closer to universal dignity than it's ever been. I happen to believe that greater fulfilling happiness comes from embracing humanist love for all than from trying to get as much for myself as I can.

Yet who am I to talk of happiness? I'm not so happy. I say it's because I must live amongst dehumanists while trying to be humanist. I hope to find a way to be. If and when I do I'll let you know.

Detail of More Perfect Union, an abstract expressionist painting of acrylic, oil, marker, and newspaper on canvas. The painting was made in 2013. The title comes from a small piece of newspaper stuck to the surface of the painting that shows a photo of a couple in the New York Times weddings section. Prior to nationwide legalization of gay marriage in 2015, the Times began publishing same sex marriage notices in its pages. The fight over recognition of all marriages was in the news and on my mind for many years. The couple (not shown in this detail; it's just as well — schedule an appointment or buy it to see!) in the announcement attached to this painting is a man and a woman with an “androgynous” short haircut. It amuses me that on first glance I saw a male-male couple; I wanted to see it that way. Gender nonconformity is wrapped into the LGBTQ community's equal rights struggle — we are also fighting for the right to be a slightly built, soft spoken straight man & a tall, short-haired straight woman. What just happened in Paris is a Cis woman being harassed due to transphobia. Equal rights are always best understood as protection for everyone. There can never be a single “normal ideal” that's beyond all suspicion. “Mind your own damn business” makes for a funny retort that VP candidate Tim Walz has been employing to fend off the right's nonstop harassment campaigns. But so much more is possible than the negative freedom of leaving others alone. All freedom is interwoven. Respect for self is necessary to respect others & respecting others strengthens self respect. Truly loving ourselves transcends skin, appearance, and abilities. A more perfect union is love for all.

mid 2024 thoughts on how I can increase the benefits and reduce the harms of being online

Terms to consider: Communicate Social Media Immediate Reply guys Terminally online Algorithm AI

I am social, part of society. I cannot deny that. The food I just ate, the electricity and internet I’m using, the dwelling I’m within, the monthly $60 from patrons that was deposited today—social multipliers that expand my brief existence beyond my own capabilities.

Society depends on communication. Communicate = to share, to make common. I feel it says something about the centrality of human communications that media, a simple word meaning between, comes to be the collective noun for methods of communication between humans. Media is the force multiplier in communications. Immediate naturally means with nothing between, as in “not one moment nor thought came between something happening and being shared and being commented on.” Immediacy in media may be harmful to me, I have found: The 24/7 breaking news story with no facts. Every single human tragedy worldwide live-streamed into my psyche. Limitless distraction and entertainment. It’s easy for me to become overloaded by all these and more.

Immediacy in social media can take a form some call reply guys, quick to use up your bandwidth, attention, and time without engaging you openly. Terminally online is a related term for those whose desire for communication begins and ends online. The discourse, the memes, the one-liners are fast-paced and addictive. Who needs the real world? “Touch grass,” some say — though isn’t that a terminally-online style of response? I have great news, fortunately. There are no such people as reply guys and the terminally online. Every human being is more than what they put on the internet. Oh good, but what about the non-human forces online?

The question to ask about algorithms and AI is what is their purpose? What need or want are they fulfilling? Do the benefits justify the costs? Media is a force multiplier in human communications; algorithms and AI are force multipliers in media. Currently these powers are hoarded and they are being employed for financial gain without ethics. That sucks and I hate it. Lack of trust and sincerity in communications erodes the foundation of human society. We are seeing that clearly. In very few words here I have shown how simple and vital these connections are. We are on a fatal path.

How can I be online? I’m avoiding algorithms and AI by spending my time in the fediverse and utilizing as much free and open-source media as I can. I remove nearly all advertising from my awareness. These priorities divide me from much of society. I pay for zero streaming services, video or audio. My internet access provides me with free Max. With my public library I have access to more media than I will ever consume. This includes books, the best form of non-immediate media I know. Reading books I feel my mind strengthen. It’s a sharp contrast to the dysfunctional spiral I experience by ingesting for-profit media’s overwhelming distractions.

I like the places I hang. There’s such a trove of excellent media off the beaten path. Here are a few musical sources I enjoy (I believe all are either ad-free or the ads are not in English):

• radiofreefedi.net
• www.nts.live/infinite-mixtapes/expansions
• mkmradio.com
• player.48fm.com

All is not perfect, of course. The social and immediate aspects of being online invite imbalance. I imagine asking a helpful AI: Please construct an algorithm that enables me to interact with those open to lengthy discussion on topic {y}. When I share posts I could designate “show to everyone” or “only show to cogitators”! What a wonderful dream!

---

cross-posted to: https://paper.wf/how2b/how-to-be-happy-online

This painting is gorgeous and I made it!

What does it take to make a statement like that? Confidence? Cockiness? No, just my eyes and my visual taste. My love of seeing colors blend, loving layers, appreciating vibrant colors alongside muddy ones. Acceptance of irregularity. Fantasy. Sensuality. Openness. I love orange, I love pink. I love gold, I love turquoise. I love all colors and shapes. Abstract expressionist painting... abstract because it's not a representation of any specific object or narrative, expressionist because it expresses my feelings and my values. Yes my values. I was drawn to this style of paintings in museums for years before I ever made one myself. I felt emotional therapy staring into the vague expressions another human cared to create and share with the world. The work goes on inside myself, I do not worship artists. I look at this painting that I love and do not think of it as mine. It's not about me. Well, it's about me and my feelings because I live inside me. Ugh. What I mean is that it's about the viewer. I am the viewer of my own work. But it's not about me as maker. Be the change you want to see, some say. That's what I create, in my art and my words. My previous post complained about my inability to connect with others. I intend to expand on that. Then I thought I want to include my art in my posts. And here we are.

[current soundtrack while writing: mkmradio broadcast radio from Paris, free with occasional ads and announcements in French | changed during next paragraph to Miles Davis It Never Entered My Mind followed by the John Coltrane album Giant Steps]

What does it take to make & share art like that? Maybe confidence or cockiness, I don't know. There is a boldness to pointing at something and saying: I made this great thing from nothing except my hands and imagination. Besides that I do not profess to have any skill. Others can express opinions on the quality of my work if they want. I've been complimented on my facility with color. I say all it takes is being willing to do it. I don't know why others do what they do but as long as they don't hurt anyone I'm fine with it. Art is different because I'm not producing an income. I am not supporting myself. I said above that making & sharing my art may take boldness, but that's not how I feel. I feel humility. This is all I have to offer.

I switched my music accompaniment to jazz because I have compared my style of visual art to jazz. When I put out a finished piece I want it to be a harmony of discord. Conflict and resolution within the same small space. This work is my emotional therapy. The values I wish to promote are acceptance of more than we can comprehend. More than acceptance—appreciation, maybe even love.

I love my art. That's why I make it. I do live in a world surrounded by my own art. If I could afford originals I would live among the works of JMW Turner, Miró, Helen Frankenthaler, Cy Twombly, ... What am I saying? I like mine as much. Haha. Anyway I wouldn't want to hoard expensive art as commodity. There are TONS of artists whose work I enjoy, and many more I would love that I will never know of. I do appreciate being able to go into museums and experience our shared human heritage of art. But fame distresses me. I keep coming back to my baseline belief that I want all humans to share a good minimum standard of living. After that, rich folks can do whatever they want. I'll be happy with my art. Until that day comes there are many ways to support me.

Thanks!

I never got around to saying what I started to say. There's always a future post. I want to talk about distraction; what I consider my life's work to be; why friendships frustrate me—simple, annoying stuff like that.

recent posts on this blog probably should have been placed on Planet B but current pain levels prevent multilayered thinking

also I don't understand the difference between toward and towards so I'm probably going to have to rewrite the current title of this blog post

also I think I've lost all focus! Yes I blame pain for that. See it's like this: all progress encounters interference. The addition of pain at a high level makes overcoming standard level interferences unlikely. Right now I'm going to jettison this writing because my energy levels are low. New priority is to eat and take medications. I probably won't be back. I had a great post planned.

;)

Conversations are like this:

“Kids will say anything, like Why are your teeth yellow!”

“Oh I know. My niece said that to me!”

“They all do!”

“I was stunned and didn't know how to answer. Then later when they ordered cokes somewhere I said that that may be why my teeth aren't very white, because for years I've drunk a lot of brown liquids.”

“I use teeth whitening strips and baking soda toothpaste.”

“Yeah I've tried those too. Baking soda toothpaste is too salty for me and bleaching hurts my sensitive teeth. Fortunately a kind dentist once told me that not all teeth are naturally bright white, that ivory and cream colored teeth are perfectly normal. So I worry more about holes and sensitivity and gums than appearance.”

“I just like my teeth to be white.”

lifelong obsession with right and wrong & nowadays I want to put those terms in quotes What changed? Abstract art is part of it. Changing how my mind interprets. A long journey. Imagine competitive praying, World Championship Yoga Meditation tournaments ! Now don't imagine those things, they're terrible. Reality isn't a contest. Lives aren't ranked

incomplete that's the theme joined in the middle, in medias res so much to figure out, too much, need help and guidance that reproduces past misunderstandings, a % of rebelliousness is necessary for growth What %? Complete upheaval? gay atheistic socialism? Division. “find your people” but what about the rest? Tensions. Opposition. } = unnecessary strife in life strife in life strife in life the unavoidable strife in a life is living. stay alive. eat. protect. biological breakdowns. forgetfulness. focus. limits. nature's dangers. to survive the above humans align, support, care, love, console, repair, heal, invent, inspire together with other humans survival

Everything is a rough draft. And that's good. For me and for everyone. Improvement is possible. Slow, difficult, frightening, and always possible. I don't need to do anything beyond survive and I do not need to know anything beyond what's necessary for survival. Everything else is gravy. I happen to like learning how to make gravy, and a variety of many other sauces beyond that. That's fun. Life is fun. I like learning. I love learning. Again, rough draft. Keep revising.

I do not need to have or express an opinion about everything and everyone. I need to stay alive, safe, happy. Since a metaphor is incomplete, another way to look at life besides rough draft is that it's therapy. Revisions in writing are drafts. Life rewrites can develop through therapy. Therapeutic processes improve physical and mental health. It can be safest to work on major improvements with professional therapists. Changes are also being field tested in real time by all of us without professional supervision. If (when) someone speaks or behaves around me in a way that I believe is “suboptimal,” what are my options? Assess whether they are putting me, others, or themselves in danger. If so consider safe interventions. In most cases the offensive behavior is not threatening, in which case I am free to ignore it. Ignoring it might be the best option for my own mental health. I'm talking online and in person, when someone is acting out I might be best served by tuning it out. Or, to use my therapy metaphor, they are working on themselves, showing me their messy process. Like many a well trained therapist I can keep quiet. Let them keep fumbling around until they get to some better behavior. Then if I happen to be around for that I can chime in with encouraging words. But when I witness someone being an ugly mess I can remain unaffected. I really believe that I can.

(This therapist angle comes from some interactions on social media. You know the kind, when someone comments and you think, “Really? Why did you feel the need to say that?” And that's exactly it. I am seeing it as almost a compulsive need sometimes for people to say completely unwanted opinions. They're working on their own issues and I need not get involved even when it's a comment on my own post. My silence says, “this response does not speak to me,” and that's enough. They said what they wanted to say. I'm unaffected.)

I posted my crayon drawing to Insta with this caption:

How I choose music: I go to radiofreefedi.net and look at music licenses. CC means it's a Creative Commons license; BY tells me to attribute who the work is by; SA means “share alike” or “share again” or something. Basically I can't say that sharing ends with my use, I can't take ownership. These are the ways of creatives in the non-commercial realm of the internet that I like.

I've explained my crayon art therapy many times and so thought I would explain Creative Commons license instead. The final sentence is the latest in a string of passive aggressive digs at imeta users.

The world is us. The world won't change unless we change.

Yes, I realize I'm saying: We are the world