When the news event happened I wasn't immediately sure who it was. I'm old & the name resembles some from other contexts to me. And I even consume left political media. As I'm writing this I have a video paused about The Daily Wire's Mr. Birchum being appropriated as queer, even though the animated show is part of Ben Shapiro's attempt to “win the culture war.” I heard that & thought: “Culture War? A strange game, the only winning move is not to play.”
Post title comes from Gertrude Stein'sTender Buttons, an experimental prose poem that's been a foundational, inexhaustible influence on my creativity. I set up a bot to randomly post selections from the work@tender_buttons@mastodon.social
Tough question. When does life and experiences become a higher priority than art creation, and when does art creation become a higher priority than life and experiences?
He keeps a journal when we are apart. We have a long distance relationship that's getting longer. I'm not sure when we next see each other. He journals amazingly, recapping his experiences and feelings about them; sharing his creations; and posing meaningful questions to himself, to me, to all of us. And I am in pain. I feel moved by what he says and unable to reply meaningfully:
my answer to this could be long. I will try to write it soon, maybe as a blog.
And here I am, trying.
Binary thinking is seductive, easy to fall into. It's a trap. The answer cannot be that either art or living is the top priority.
10 steps forward, 11 steps back on a societal scale
It's a recurring thing for me that I do not understand other people's energy. My mother always had unlimited energy that she directed (and directed me) to trivial projects. That's how I feel about most people.
Like, I think if people aren't devoting energy to improvement of self and all humans then that's wasted energy.
I want only to improve myself and with it to improve all humanity... and I have no energy.
Baby, I feel not good enough.
I can say that I know with near certainty that my current inability to perform is due to chronic back pain. I can talk about potential causes & solutions [1] but I can also say there's always been something[2] preventing me from performing. I can say that it's ultimately how I am.
#ScribesAndMakers 8 April: Share a song lyric that resonates with you.
Like a lot of these prompts, a simple question can be a tough question. Lately I'm not listening to music very often. I go through phases it seems. And when I do I often don't even know the lyrics; I'm drawn to the sound of it. Like I love to sing along to the following in French to stretch my mouth: Eartha Kitt singing Je Cherche Un Homme & Françoise Hardy roaring Je N'Attends Plus Personne. Even though I like the words in those I can't really say that the lyrics resonate. If I were going to select a favorite Eartha Kitt song with lyrics I embrace it would be Lazy Afternoon, a short (2:22) song about appreciating nature languorously with a lover. Does that resonate? Yeah I love being able to do nothing in nature. But it's another love song & I don't want to imply that someone else is required to enjoy a lazy afternoon.
Am I overthinking? What some call a hashtag game I call an opportunity for reflection. I re-listened to my Frank Ocean favorites. “Why see the world when you've got the beach?” (Sweet Life) I listen to Frank for the melodies more than lyrics. Or tbh I am always conscious of his role as a closeted-then-out gay hip hop star when I listen to Frank Ocean. What lyrics resonate with my life experience? In music I'm often drawn to mixing meaning and nonsense, in songs by Bowie, Prince, REM, Talking Heads, Negativland, & They Might Be Giants.
Then I remembered a snip from a They Might Be Giants' song I don't even love. Towards the end of XTC vs Adam Ant is a repeating line that has resonated with me for years, “There is no right or wrong.”
I struggle with character limits. I struggle with feeling connected. This post began on Mastodon.
One of the prompts that keeps me going on Mastodon is a hashtag #ScribesAndMakers. I like the style of questions. Keeping up with a daily prompt is difficult for me. I might miss a day or two, sometimes without even realizing. I guess that's ok, right? I do not live only online. Right? (He asks himself, uncertainly.) Instead of skipping questions I go back and answer them, because as I said I like this prompt. I am finding it helpful in organizing my thoughts. Many people respond thoughtfully, yet I'm uncertain whether I feel belonging in this group. Sharing and relating in art and online is the subject of this post. I know that I'm on a journey but I am unsure if I (a) am alone, (b) have companions, (c) accept companions, (d) am accepted by companions. Phew I “think too much”—definitely it's too much for social media character limits so I fired up the blog.
