Tough question. When does life and experiences become a higher priority than art creation, and when does art creation become a higher priority than life and experiences?
He keeps a journal when we are apart. We have a long distance relationship that's getting longer. I'm not sure when we next see each other. He journals amazingly, recapping his experiences and feelings about them; sharing his creations; and posing meaningful questions to himself, to me, to all of us. And I am in pain. I feel moved by what he says and unable to reply meaningfully:
my answer to this could be long. I will try to write it soon, maybe as a blog.
And here I am, trying.
Binary thinking is seductive, easy to fall into. It's a trap. The answer cannot be that either art or living is the top priority.
10 steps forward, 11 steps back on a societal scale
It's a recurring thing for me that I do not understand other people's energy. My mother always had unlimited energy that she directed (and directed me) to trivial projects. That's how I feel about most people.
Like, I think if people aren't devoting energy to improvement of self and all humans then that's wasted energy.
I want only to improve myself and with it to improve all humanity... and I have no energy.
Baby, I feel not good enough.
I can say that I know with near certainty that my current inability to perform is due to chronic back pain. I can talk about potential causes & solutions [1] but I can also say there's always been something[2] preventing me from performing. I can say that it's ultimately how I am.
#ScribesAndMakers 8 April: Share a song lyric that resonates with you.
Like a lot of these prompts, a simple question can be a tough question. Lately I'm not listening to music very often. I go through phases it seems. And when I do I often don't even know the lyrics; I'm drawn to the sound of it. Like I love to sing along to the following in French to stretch my mouth: Eartha Kitt singing Je Cherche Un Homme & Françoise Hardy roaring Je N'Attends Plus Personne. Even though I like the words in those I can't really say that the lyrics resonate. If I were going to select a favorite Eartha Kitt song with lyrics I embrace it would be Lazy Afternoon, a short (2:22) song about appreciating nature languorously with a lover. Does that resonate? Yeah I love being able to do nothing in nature. But it's another love song & I don't want to imply that someone else is required to enjoy a lazy afternoon.
Am I overthinking? What some call a hashtag game I call an opportunity for reflection. I re-listened to my Frank Ocean favorites. “Why see the world when you've got the beach?” (Sweet Life) I listen to Frank for the melodies more than lyrics. Or tbh I am always conscious of his role as a closeted-then-out gay hip hop star when I listen to Frank Ocean. What lyrics resonate with my life experience? In music I'm often drawn to mixing meaning and nonsense, in songs by Bowie, Prince, REM, Talking Heads, Negativland, & They Might Be Giants.
Then I remembered a snip from a They Might Be Giants' song I don't even love. Towards the end of XTC vs Adam Ant is a repeating line that has resonated with me for years, “There is no right or wrong.”
I struggle with character limits. I struggle with feeling connected. This post began on Mastodon.
One of the prompts that keeps me going on Mastodon is a hashtag #ScribesAndMakers. I like the style of questions. Keeping up with a daily prompt is difficult for me. I might miss a day or two, sometimes without even realizing. I guess that's ok, right? I do not live only online. Right? (He asks himself, uncertainly.) Instead of skipping questions I go back and answer them, because as I said I like this prompt. I am finding it helpful in organizing my thoughts. Many people respond thoughtfully, yet I'm uncertain whether I feel belonging in this group. Sharing and relating in art and online is the subject of this post. I know that I'm on a journey but I am unsure if I (a) am alone, (b) have companions, (c) accept companions, (d) am accepted by companions. Phew I “think too much”—definitely it's too much for social media character limits so I fired up the blog.
I suggest that the United States needs to do much more than elect better people under the current constitution. A peaceful revolution is called for.
The right is right. Under the US constitution and historical tradition, the right is in keeping with American values. Liberals are wrong when we have said:
America is exceptional
America is the greatest country on earth
Bigotry, hate; and murder are not who we are as Americans
America values equality
None of the above are true. All of the above are wishful. Trump and his cronies are the heirs to the slave-owning founders, to Polk, to Jackson, to Jim Crow, to Woodrow Wilson, to FDR, to Nixon, to Reagan, and to the Supreme Court for all but a very few years.
The United States has never stood for equality. I'm not so much saying this in anger as with a clear eyed coldness. The nice words in the revered documents are lies. They are marketing materials. It's quite clear that the professions of equality are lies; simply look at the laws.