RMiddleton

This painting is gorgeous and I made it!

What does it take to make a statement like that? Confidence? Cockiness? No, just my eyes and my visual taste. My love of seeing colors blend, loving layers, appreciating vibrant colors alongside muddy ones. Acceptance of irregularity. Fantasy. Sensuality. Openness. I love orange, I love pink. I love gold, I love turquoise. I love all colors and shapes. Abstract expressionist painting... abstract because it's not a representation of any specific object or narrative, expressionist because it expresses my feelings and my values. Yes my values. I was drawn to this style of paintings in museums for years before I ever made one myself. I felt emotional therapy staring into the vague expressions another human cared to create and share with the world. The work goes on inside myself, I do not worship artists. I look at this painting that I love and do not think of it as mine. It's not about me. Well, it's about me and my feelings because I live inside me. Ugh. What I mean is that it's about the viewer. I am the viewer of my own work. But it's not about me as maker. Be the change you want to see, some say. That's what I create, in my art and my words. My previous post complained about my inability to connect with others. I intend to expand on that. Then I thought I want to include my art in my posts. And here we are.

[current soundtrack while writing: mkmradio broadcast radio from Paris, free with occasional ads and announcements in French | changed during next paragraph to Miles Davis It Never Entered My Mind followed by the John Coltrane album Giant Steps]

What does it take to make & share art like that? Maybe confidence or cockiness, I don't know. There is a boldness to pointing at something and saying: I made this great thing from nothing except my hands and imagination. Besides that I do not profess to have any skill. Others can express opinions on the quality of my work if they want. I've been complimented on my facility with color. I say all it takes is being willing to do it. I don't know why others do what they do but as long as they don't hurt anyone I'm fine with it. Art is different because I'm not producing an income. I am not supporting myself. I said above that making & sharing my art may take boldness, but that's not how I feel. I feel humility. This is all I have to offer.

I switched my music accompaniment to jazz because I have compared my style of visual art to jazz. When I put out a finished piece I want it to be a harmony of discord. Conflict and resolution within the same small space. This work is my emotional therapy. The values I wish to promote are acceptance of more than we can comprehend. More than acceptance—appreciation, maybe even love.

I love my art. That's why I make it. I do live in a world surrounded by my own art. If I could afford originals I would live among the works of JMW Turner, Miró, Helen Frankenthaler, Cy Twombly, ... What am I saying? I like mine as much. Haha. Anyway I wouldn't want to hoard expensive art as commodity. There are TONS of artists whose work I enjoy, and many more I would love that I will never know of. I do appreciate being able to go into museums and experience our shared human heritage of art. But fame distresses me. I keep coming back to my baseline belief that I want all humans to share a good minimum standard of living. After that, rich folks can do whatever they want. I'll be happy with my art. Until that day comes there are many ways to support me.

Thanks!

I never got around to saying what I started to say. There's always a future post. I want to talk about distraction; what I consider my life's work to be; why friendships frustrate me—simple, annoying stuff like that.