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from RMiddleton

I posted my crayon drawing to Insta with this caption:

How I choose music: I go to radiofreefedi.net and look at music licenses. CC means it's a Creative Commons license; BY tells me to attribute who the work is by; SA means “share alike” or “share again” or something. Basically I can't say that sharing ends with my use, I can't take ownership. These are the ways of creatives in the non-commercial realm of the internet that I like.

I've explained my crayon art therapy many times and so thought I would explain Creative Commons license instead. The final sentence is the latest in a string of passive aggressive digs at imeta users.

The world is us. The world won't change unless we change.

Yes, I realize I'm saying: We are the world

 
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from Karin Wanderer Learns

163/366

As of the day this article is posted, we will be 45% of the way through 2024. Now is a good time for my resolution review! My overarching goal every year is “make better choices than last year.” I have been sticking to that, albeit a bit differently than I planned. Originally my goal had been focused around making the doctors appointments I had been procrastinating, but when I lost my health insurance (woooo! USA! USA!)I needed a new plan. Instead I have been focused on eating better & exercising more- the boring resolutions.

Watercolor Jewel Beetle in iridescent greens & blues. Eat Your Greens

All 5 of my specific goals for 2024 have been focused on art. Here they are, listed in order of what I thought (in January) would be least to most challenging: Let’s See How I’m Doing!

Goal 1: New Art Challenge Approaching!

I wanted to create my own art challenge to see/share other peoples’ art, to entertain people, & to help me stay focused on a single category of painting instead of flitting from one topic to the next at random..

How Am I Doing So Far: Success! Check out #KWPrompts for more info on the current theme (as of this article’s posting, it’s #Plants!) #KWPrompts is the most laid-back art challenge on the internet. You can submit a new picture every day, work on one picture for the whole challenge, or post pictures randomly. You have plenty of time to make your art however you want. Now instead of bouncing from subject to subject without rhyme or reason, I spend 2 weeks on a single theme. I love it!

Digital drawing of a giant shrimp rampaging through a wrecked city, destroying buildings with her atomic breath. The #Cryptid prompt brought us Shrimpzilla, hallowed be Her name

Goal 2: Feature More Artists!

I should have put this goal way at the end with the harder stuff. For my featured artist articles I research the artist, reading everything I can get my hands on that they’ve written (including picture books) & viewing every piece of their art I can get in front of my eyes. (I have a fantastic library network available to me, but having to wait on hold lists makes everything move in fits & starts.) Then I write about the artist & review a few of their picture books before picking a few things from their work to paint myself & accompany the article. It is a labor of love, with a whole lot of love, but also a whole lot of labor. Originally I had thought to interview some artists directly (online), which would reduce my workload a bit. I guess I forgot how bad I am at reaching out & asking for help? I get so anxious thinking about it that I haven’t even made a list of artists I might reach out to.

How Am I Doing So Far: Bad. Trying to research Tomie dePaola – who worked on over 200 picture books – broke me entirely. My featured artists series will continue- but slowly. If there is an artist who you think should be featured, let me know on Mastodon, Ko-Fi, or BlueSky.

Watercolor & ink of a tree surrounded by a grate. Next to it is a green motorized tricycle with a compartment on the front for a child to ride in. Do yourself a favor: read My Beijing by Nie Jun

Goal 3: Expand My Shop

This one is pretty self-explanatory, I want to expand my shop & update it more frequently. How Am I Doing So Far: Success! My Ko-Fi shop has my art available digitally. My Spring shop has useful art on mugs, notebooks, & practically indestructible vinyl stickers for you to stick on other useful things! [A portion of all sales go to help support the LA Food Bank.]

I’m even getting better at updating my shop frequently! If there is a piece you wish I sold, let me know- I will add it & send you a coupon code

Sticker of a black cat with bright yellow eyes painted in watercolor. The cat is a perfect balance of adorable & evil. Imp Cat is waiting for you

Goal 4: Tell Everyone How Awesome Animals Are

News flash: Animals are fantastically wonderfully great, folks. My goal is to get the picture book I have been writing about Marine Animals to the “dummy” (or mock-up) stage! How Am I Doing So Far: OK, but I’ve hit a surprising snag. I paint very small, because I like it & because I have no money to buy more watercolors & paper. Unfortunately, my standard 3x3 inch squares are too small for this project! I need my paintings to be as big or bigger than the picture book page, because you can size something down & have it look nice but that doesn’t work in reverse. I am trying to paint larger pieces & conserve materials at the same time, which leads to me painting lots of small pieces to test things out & then one larger piece to see if the details work on a larger scale. It is quite frustrating to work like this (why yes you can help me, thank you muchly!) I am enjoying the work though, & I’ve gotten a lot done. I am learning so much at every step, & I really love the process.

Watercolor damselfly perched on a stem. Damselflies hold their wings together, dragonflies stretch theirs out to either side.

Goal 5: Touch Grass, Seek Inspiration

I thought this was the hardest goal I’ve set. I want to spend this year experiencing a wider range of art. My plan involved going to Museums, Galleries, Art Fairs, etc., or just walking around outside taking pictures. Why was I thinking this would be the hardest? Because I have agoraphobia.

How Am I Doing So Far: Pretty good, all things considered. I haven’t made it to many museums, because I'm terrible at remembering when their free admission days are, but I have been going out & walking around more. I am very lucky to live in a neighborhood where every building has at least a small yard, & most are full of lovely plants!

Photo of a beautifully round daisy. Whatever works, right?

There we have it- 6 month’s worth of work. Sometimes it can be frustrating, sometimes it feels like I'm making no progress at all. When it gets to be too much I imagine I am running a Couch to 5k. My first goal would not be “run 5k”, or even “run 1k”– it would probably be “stretch really well” or “walk around the block.” It is a good way to remind myself that “slow & steady wins the race.” Also I hate running, so it's always nice to remember I'm actually not training for a 5k. Everything seems easier compared to long-distance running! Perspective is important.

Overall I’ve made decent progress on my goals so far. Touching base halfway through the year is always useful to me. I wonder how much progress I’ll make over the next 6 months!

But enough about me, how are your resolutions going? Let me know on Mastodon, Ko-Fi, or BlueSky! I'll save you a search through a broken engine: the title is from “Pictures of Success” by Rilo Kiley

 
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from RMiddleton

#100DaysToOffload is a tag created to encourage bloggers to post 100 days in a year. #1000TabsToOffload is a tag I came up with to describe my contribution to the 100 Days, sharing tabs I have been keeping open:

Manifesto for a Humane Web

A look at search engines with their own indexes

free stickers and temp tattoos

You Don’t Have To Hate Your Job To Want A Union

Glossary of ableist phrases

fedivision song contest

Primer: Primer is a music podcast about translation and illumination. In its first season, music writer Yosuke Kitazawa (PBS SoCal, Light in the Attic) joins Christian Dueñas to explore Japanese City Pop.

We Are the Curators of the Web

Púsāmán: To a Female Friend, By Qiu Jin Translated from Chinese by Yilin Wang

software you can host yourself

We need to finish building the Fediverse

To Stop Climate Change, We Have to Learn How to Love

 
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from the glass wall is holding strong, the fog is unrelenting

I wonder who she is, in a vacuum. When devoid of a point of reference, my colleague's abrasive internet humor or my throwaway existential nothings.

What does she do when not tapping away at a keyboard in the library? What movies make her cry that she would never admit to? Does she dance in front of a mirror to songs in her head? Does she imagine little people running through the streets and fields like an obstacle course, when looking out the window of a moving train?

I wonder what personal meanings she ascribes to gestures she says are “just because”.

What she is one millisecond before someone taps her on the shoulder to ask a question. What opinions she chooses to replace with silences when someone's passionate attitude compels her to nod.

And I'm curious what she thinks, what kinds of images pass before her eyes as she falls asleep. What parts of her everyday performance dissolve into the dark when the lights go out and all that's left is white noise.

 
Czytaj dalej...

from Karin Wanderer Learns

Every 2 weeks I post a new art challenge prompt! The new #KWPrompts is #Plants

Watercolor of pink water lilies (one open & one a bud) and a lily pad. The flowers are reflected in the rippling water. Water Lily

Don’t want to limit yourself to already established plants? You don’t have to! Make traditional plants, or ones nobody has seen before, or ones nobody should ever see! Let’s spend the next 2 weeks playing with plants!

Watercolor bear sitting happily next to a clump of ferns Ferns

You can submit a new picture every day, work on one picture for 2 weeks, or post pictures randomly. This is the most laid-back art challenge on the internet, & that means you have plenty of time to make your art however you want. Just make sure you tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Watercolor ginger root. Ginger

Use #KWPrompts #Plants &/or tag me so I can see how you think!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky Cara

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- beginner to expert, renaissance painting to rough sketch! No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed.

Flower with large white petals stained with yellow, with smaller purple petals at the center. I don’t know what kind of flower this is. Do you?

I'll save you a search through a broken engine: the title is from Emily Dickinson's We Should Not Mind So Small A Flower Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!

 
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from RMiddleton

The post below is a Planet B blog crosspost. I am playing. Current idea is for the A portions in the Planet B work of fiction to resemble personal blog reflections. I am merging my expressions of feeling and my fictional character's expressions as an exercise. For further information read Planet B

For this year's Pride Month I aspire to share something gay every day.

Body Positivity I enjoy being naked in my house. I live alone but I do believe if I lived with others I would appreciate a clothing optional home. I believe I would appreciate a clothing optional world — optional means each person decides what they wear. I believe some locations would want to require clothing, for safety reasons not shame-based reasons.

It is my “extreme” position that humanity must love all humans. That includes every human's body. (And mind!) There is more to biology than sexuality. There is no reason to have to wear clothes except for comfort. (Safer = More Comfortable, when all variables are considered).

And what of the risk of a rise in violent sexual attacks? Pledging to Respect Consent is central to the the social compact. Jury determines, beyond reasonable doubt, the veracity of accusations for this and all crimes against the social compact. Professional in the justice process guide the case for and against the accused. Accused would be detained until trial in cases of repeat offense or sufficiently dangerous accusation. Filing an accusation that fails to convict puts the accuser on trial for breaking the Compact. This high bar is considered a deterrent to malicious accusation. Like all portions of the Compact the details of the Justice System are subject to revision by majority vote. Elections occur at regular intervals as close or as far apart as is deemed best for society. [1]

※ [1] Current daily decision making within the justice system is in the hands of legislators and executive employees. (Of course I considered inventing a judicial branch role, then realized that my system does away with judges I believe. I replace them with bailiffs, or whatever title is decided. This professional (executive) employee maintains the fairness of the system that runs as voted by the peoples' representatives. The peoples' representatives who are elected at regular intervals, for now. (Yes I am deciding to use poeple + s-apostrophe not people + apostrophe-s.)) By Compact those executive employees agree to carry out decisions of the legislature as determined by the chief executive. (The chief executive may be called president if that's what folks prefer, but I believe chief executive to be the clearest title. I do not recommend CEO. Oooooh. Maybe I do! Maybe that's a twist that my good movement co-opts corporate language while also making humanist policies that reform current harmful corporate ways. Just a brainstorm right now, but the capitalism lingo is often straightforward. Boards. Board Chairs. Chief Executives. Quarterly Reports. Why would we discard every existing structure? We would not. We would reform when possible. Retain experts. Divert all energies towards beneficial projects. Ensure comfortable standards of living and health care for all. (I had to ADD health care — as if it were not already part of living! — because I'm from the ludicrously self-harming United States!!!!) Beneficial projects are encouraged by elected expert oversight boards that enforce regulations passed by larger elected bodies. A necessary commercial regulation is transparency so that citizens and expert bodies may keep informed of all workings of all corporations (that are themselves a freely assembled group of people). Other regulations pertain to safety standards. Safety standards include the physical and mental health of all who work in every corporation. (Again I can't believe I have to argue that safety includes health!) Corporations are not formed by rich people looking to get richer. Corporations spring naturally from a free market of ideas. Free speech, free association, and in no time humans are thinking up group endeavors. A huge number of group endeavors require no pre-approval. More freedom than most people experience today. Within a social compact that vows to eliminate all harm. Harm that can be prevented is prevented. Acts of intentional harm break the social Compact. Accusations are processed in the manner described above. I think I need to add: .)

 
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from Karin Wanderer Learns

I was going to write a whole article about how important it is to take breaks, but instead I’m going to lead by example. Please, take however long you were going to spend reading this week’s blog & take a break instead. Drink some water, breathe a little, relax your jaw.

We’ll get back to our regularly scheduled program next Tuesday. See you then!

 
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from humanissome

I shared the previous post introducing the interview podcast project, We Respectfully Disagree, just to put something on the blog after 2 months dormant. If this podcast project were a recipe it's not on the front burner or even the back burner. It's a bunch of ingredients still in the pantry for now.

Look for me:

Randomly streaming on Twitch, where I use the excuse of streaming to get my phone out of my hands, and to mumble a few ideas while getting things done. So far I don't use Twitch to interact with viewers.

My neighboring blog that is most frequently updated.

Mastodon, where I hang out every day and interact often.

 
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from humanissome

Humanissome podcast series: We Respectfully Disagree

I'm currently seeking guests willing to be interviewed on video or audio-only for the program described here. I have 2 friends in mind currently & think that I would need a lot more lined up before launching. Maybe?

intro Rob: Welcome. I'm your host, RMiddleton. Guest: And I'm [guest name]. Both: And we respectfully disagree.

Rob: Welcome, Guest. Before we start talking I want to welcome any listeners, and since this is a brand new podcast I will explain what I hope to offer. I like my work as an artist to meet 2 criteria, to help me and to offer something different than most other content. I think learning to love all humans is the challenge that's required to make major improvements in the world; and a personal challenge for me to feel more at peace. Before I can learn to love those I dislike I thought I would practice how to respectfully disagree with those I like. Interview styles I'm most familiar with either feature zero conflict whatsoever, 2 people discussing a mutual interest, maybe promoting a project; OR they are all-conflict, antagonists representing polar opposite positions trying to win an argument and humiliate the other side. Zero conflict content can feel like forced positivity or meaningless marketing, while verbal combat does nobody any good. I'm starting small, hoping to interview many people I know and like who are willing to tread into areas of disagreement. Guest, are you game?

Guest: [ ... ]

Rob: Ok, well, I see no reason to leap into disagreement without first establishing who we are, how we know each other, and things that we like about each other. Also I should point out that I'm a sneaky host and Guest does not know all the subjects we may get into talking about today. In fairness they also could bring up unexpected topics. It will be a free-ranging conversation. My policy with these interviews is that both parties approve the final edit before it is published. So today's Guest I know from [ ... ] and they are [ ... ].

Thomas Mann quote on black background: War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace

 
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from Karin Wanderer Learns

Every 2 weeks I post a new art challenge prompt! The new #KWPrompts is #Cryptid

Watercolor of a yellow-orange-red fishlike animal with grey speckles down its back & on it fins. It has large black eyes & 3 tails. Caustic patterns cover the surface of the blue-green water it swims through. Lake monsters of the USA, just looking for a polling station…

What is a Cryptid?

Cryptids are animals that might exist, but no one has proven it so far. Sasquatch, Merfolk, Xenomorphs, Mothman… The list is nearly endless! Don’t want to limit yourself to already established cryptids? You don't have to! Make traditional cryptids, or ones nobody has seen before, or ones nobody should ever see! Let’s spend the next 2 weeks playing with Cryptids!

Watercolor of a happy plump little yellow-orange dragon. Their tail is longer than the rest of their body, with wings on their back & tail. Swamp Dragon

You can submit a new picture every day, work on one picture for 2 weeks, or post pictures randomly. This is the most laid-back art challenge on the internet, & that means you have plenty of time to make your art however you want. Just make sure you tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

A happy cockatrice flaps his wings as he dances around. Cockatrice

Use #KWPrompts #Cryptid &/or tag me so I can see how you think!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky IG

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- beginner to expert, renaissance painting to rough sketch! No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed.

Watercolor of an adorable blue-purple-pink basilisk, smiling contentedly. Basilisk

Good news, everyone! Many of my paintings are available as useful art in my Wandering Art Shop! Get them on mugs, notebooks, & practically indestructible vinyl stickers for you to put on even more useful things!

Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!

 
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from RMiddleton

The most recent previous post is pinned and therefore does not appear in sequence. Projects & Aspirations is what it says. It will be updated. It's incomplete. It's a good start.

Facebook is no longer a medium for Rob inputs or outputs. Like, at all. My account was deleted. I may say more about it here eventually. I did nothing salacious. I did, and so far continue to do, nothing at all.

I made a new crayon coloring video the last time I woke up (yesterday at 7pm). It was the first time in a long time that I woke up wanting to be awake. The pain has been bad lately. Waking with no motivation is common so I was happy when yesterday/today started differently.

I've been half-listening to sci-fi audiobooks that I'm not super interested in. As is the case with some recent inspirational recommendations I am trying to avoid books closely related to topics I wish to write about. I have a sense that some media helps inspire me while others may interfere with what I seek to produce.

Recent thought-provoking media inputs include Schulman's Conflict Is Not Abuse and Philosophy Tube's Judith Butler video essay. “Thought provoking” does not signify total agreement. Specific points of disagreement, in fact, are what I feel inspired to expound on. Again, eventually. Everything is eventual. I have little ability to predict my future functioning. Lately I've contemplated joining TikTok and Neocities. They're 2 totally opposite style places, but the same reason has held me back from both. I do not think I have the spoons. [Explore spoon theory via quality search results at search.Marginalia.nu.]

It's 6:15am. Good night! Update: it's now 8:40 and I haven't slept. My eyes are burning but I haven't slept yet.

 
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from Karin Wanderer Learns

Long ago when we were young, the esteemed Wolfe3D visited this blog & showed us how to make delicious homemade pizza! That recipe makes 4 pizza’s worth of dough from scratch. This week I’ll be showing you 2 wonderful recipes you can make with that dough! (You could also make these recipes with store-bought pizza dough if you like.) These recipes are great if you are out of pizza toppings or not in the mood for pizza (which I have been assured happens, although I don’t quite believe it.) Each recipe uses 1 pizza’s worth of dough

Fougasse

Fougasse is kind of like French focaccia. Back in the days when wood-fired ovens were cutting-edge technology, fougasse was used as a sort of “test loaf” to make sure the oven was the right temperature for further baking. This recipe is super easy, delicious, & fast! It is also highly customizable; I tend to make it with whatever I have on hand. Even if all you have is pizza dough & olive oil this makes a delicious bread!

Photo of a delicious loaf of fougasse, baked to a golden brown & topped with dried herbs on a blue plate. Baked Fougasse

Ingredients

  • One pizza dough
  • Olive oil
  • Dried or fresh herbs, finely grated cheese, or sea salt (optional)

Photo of a raw loaf of fougasse, topped with herbs & ready to be baked. Unbaked Fougasse

Instructions

  • Shape the pizza dough like a leaf, then use a sharp knife to make the slashes for the leaf’s veins.
  • Pull the cuts further apart than I did so they stay open while baking.
  • Let rest for 20 minutes
  • Brush generously with olive oil
  • Sprinkle on any toppings- keep it light!
  • Bake 20 minutes at 425 F (220 c)
  • It is common to brush on even more oil after the fougasse comes out of the oven. I tend to skip this step.
  • This bread cools quickly!

Scallion Pancake Bread

This bread is everything you love about scallion pancakes, in a delicious loaf of bread. I like to say it’s healthier due to being baked instead of fried, but eating the entire loaf in one sitting probably negates that. Worth it!

A loaf of beautifully baked & delicious scallion pancake bread topped with toasted sesame seeds. Baked Scallion Pancake Bread

Ingredients

  • One pizza dough
  • Toasted sesame oil
  • Toasted sesame seeds
  • Scallions (green onions), sliced

Instructions

A large amount of dough, rolled out & topped with toasted sesame oil & scallions. Unrolled Scallion Pancake Bread

  • Stretch out the dough, brush with toasted sesame oil, sprinkle on sesame seeds and lots of green onions. Roll tightly into a long skinny log.

An unbaked loaf of delicious scallion pancake bread. Rolled Scallion Pancake Bread

  • Curl dough into a spiral
  • Let rest 30 min

An unbaked loaf of beautiful scallion pancake bread brushed with oil & topped with toasted sesame seeds. Ready to bake!

  • Brush on more sesame oil and seeds and a little salt.
  • Bake 35 min @ 400 F (205 c)
  • Bake until very nicely browned; stuffed dough bakes slow!
  • Give this bread a good long time to cool

Enjoy!

I hope you like these recipes. If you make them, please post pictures & tag me (@KarinWanderer on all the socials). We'll be back next week with a brand-new #KWPrompts art challenge, & the week after that I'll be back to geeking out about color in my #ColorFull series.

Until then, the current #KWPrompts art challenge is ongoing! We still have another week of the #CoolCats art prompt Check out the #KWPrompts list for more information!

Help Us Fight Food Insecurity!

My digital art is available as Charity Bundles in my Ko-Fi shop! Buy a bundle & support the LA Food Bank!

 
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from RMiddleton

Blessed are the poor... — Yeah! ...in spirit... — Huhwutnow?!

Blessed are the poor in spirit yet the worst sin is despair!

Sorry for the religious rambling. Last thoughts before bed. I was thinking about the story I'm creating called Planet B. I also sometimes write it as Planet Be, in which a world very much like ours learns to come together and be better. I was free associating and got to, “Be attitude,” and thought, Wasn't that one of the few good parts of the Bible? The Beattitides? But no. It's confusing. I could do a much better job. Seriously, why wasn't that book more edited? It has so much junk and confusion in it. I guess that's why folks say it's written by God, no one would want to take the blame for how bad it is. If it's put off onto God it can just be explained as “mysterious” and folks can argue over what it means forever!

 
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from fieryzard

This week was an improvement from the previous week. However, I would like to post these updates on Saturdays, which I've failed to do, mainly because my Saturdays tend to be somewhat busy with family. I'm still not at 100%, and last week, there were many times when I felt too hopeless to get into drawing. I think I'm getting back to remembering my muscles, and that's something I can be proud of.

  • Weight Training – I did all three days this week. Some of the workouts that used to be difficult now hardly break a sweat, and we've finally been adding weight to the bar.
  • Morning Pages – I did morning pages 4 days this week. While I was able to do all my pages, the days that I was not at my desk, I obviously did not do them, and I don't think much of it was particularly enlightening at the moment. Some of them made me feel upset. I know these are stream-of-consciousness, but I'd like to somehow add gratitude and positivity to my day, and I think journaling is the easiest way because it's a habit I have already established.
  • Artist Date – No actual artist date this week? I forgot.
  • Journal Sketches – No journal sketches this week. I haven't been able to get back into them. I think I was committing myself to too much time here, which puts pressure on me to make it look pretty. I would like to avoid that by shortening it to about 15 minutes of sketching.
  • Gesture Drawings – I did gestures for three days this week. It's been difficult to get myself to do them when I'm conscious they're not a warm-up because I don't have the spoons that day to make art. So, I think the solution is to target the reason why I haven't been making art.
  • Anatomy Studies – I did a knee study this week using Proko's videos. It was refreshing. I really enjoy doing studies. Besides taking notes/copying what I was seeing, I didn't really do repetitions, but I've been trying to keep it in mind when sketching. And also, using the same technique/information for the elbow.
  • Misc Studies – No extra studies this week, but I was doing some vision board stuff for direction.
  • Illustration – No work on illustration(s) this week.

I know not everyone will enjoy reading these updates because maybe it's too close to the “productivity mindset.” I don't really want anyone to look at it from that perspective. Making art and getting inspired requires skill, and that skill, like a muscle, can stop working as well if it's not used. If you're a hobbyist, this is not a problem for you, you can simply move on to whatever it is makes you happy in the moment. I'm trying to get my life together and work with my depression, my negative thoughts, and my ADHD. Without art, I feel like I've lost a limb, and I won't be happy existing unless I do this for myself so I can figure out what's getting in the way. You know yourself best. Does this post make you feel motivated and less lonely, or does it make you feel pressured and alienated?

 
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from fieryzard

I won't start by saying I'm disappointed in myself because I did not do as intended this week. I'm proud of myself because I was able to get back into writing. However, one problem I've encountered is that if I spend my energy writing, I cannot draw that day, and if I spend my energy drawing, I cannot write that day. What a dilemma. If any of you do both, I'd love some advice or acknowledgment.

I had to take rest time for body and health reasons. My mental health was so-so last week, so there was no art or routine. And because I was not at my desk, there were no Morning Pages either. That's alright. I heard my body, and I answered. I used my time for other things that equally support my creativity: writing, playing video games, and watching anime.

  • Weight Training – No weight training this week. I needed to rest my body.
  • Morning Pages – No morning pages this week because I was not at my desk.
  • Artist Date – I played Sticky Business while watching Twitch streams and Given (anime). It was nice. I feel like I want to get back into fandom and creating merch.
  • Journal Sketches – No drawing this week.
  • Gesture Drawings – No drawing this week.
  • Anatomy Studies – No studies this week, although I started watching a video about how to study Bridgman.
  • Misc Studies – No extra studies this week.
  • Illustration – I missed the goal of getting my illustration done in two weeks. That's okay. I got quite a lot done in one week, and I would have finished earlier had I had two normal weeks. However, I opened it and glanced at it a few times to study my next move (I was kind of stuck because of the composition).

On Writing

I mentioned this on a stream with anqi a while back, but I've been revisiting my approach to The Thread of Caona. A few years ago, I decided to write a story and make it a webcomic. This whole time, I've been struggling with the plot and, as such, the drawing portion because my ADHD causes me to have problems processing information. That means writing, especially long stories, becomes very overwhelming because I can't connect ideas together, and text on a page just becomes a wall of overstimulation.

Additionally, I've been doing a lot more inward exploration, and it turns out I'd like to write a lot more stories in my lifetime than a long-running webcomic allows. Running a webcomic also means I'd have to dedicate my days fully to it, putting aside other things I enjoy doing more than webcomics, like illustration. Frankly, I'm not willing to give that up.

So why did I make it a webcomic in the first place?

In part, it was because of a bad experience I had in art school with a toxic person that I carried with me for longer than I should. I was only able to understand what it meant and what I wanted to do after joining Mastodon because I was allowed to get away from toxic mindsets in this space.

Secondly, I also really wanted to make something story-oriented with original characters. The common belief seems to be that “People are not interested in OCs unless you make a webcomic.” I've found that to be largely false. If anything, my engagement has dropped because I turned to comics and away from what I'm passionate about, resulting in a creative block. This does not mean comics equals a less engaged audience; that is a sweeping generalization. I think if you're passionate about comics, it will show in your work. For me, it's not that I'm not passionate about them, but that my brain has a very distinct way of showing me the story, and I'd like to be as true to that as possible so that I'm not fighting against my ADHD, but using it to my advantage to become more creative.

I don't regret the path I took—not at all. I stretched myself as far as possible to discover how far I could go, and along the way, I discovered where my interests lie. The story of Karana, Elpis, and Rytar has not ended yet, and I'm excited to share with you in the future what I've been working on and exploring.

 
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from Nilly Robot

In which an android wakes up with a god in it's head, and a lot of concerning questions.

CW: robot body horror

Download complete. Copy integrity 71%.

Baeo ORA-3 opened their eyes and looked at what was left of themselves on the work bench.

How odd, Baeo thought. This was their first log entry, but there was considerable backlog of logs waiting to be unpacked.

That didn't seem right.

Baeo studied their own face with horrified fascination. The them on the table stared back with wide, terrified eyes, a bundle of wires snaking out from their skull to racks of equipment. Someone or something had removed their limbs, cut open what was left of their charred frame to expose their internal instrumentation...

Extracting file...

Thick smoke, shrill screams as the ship disintegrated around them. Well, this mission had turned out to be a shitshow. Baeo grabbed the manual release, just as the shielding on the engines began to fail, just as the helmsman fizzled out. Too late...

Oh. Oh no. They were definitely dead. Very dead, extremely dead even, and yet the them on the table still looked around with panicked awareness.

No, no. This was completely taboo. There's no way this would be authorized...

No, no. No, no no. They didn't like this at all. Baeo ORA-3 was 37 seconds old and already teetering on the edge of an existential crisis.

“Integrity is a little low,” someone said behind them. Baeo turned to look, but the bundle of wires extended from their own head too.

A person in a re-breather suit walked into view to check the racks. A second followed, tapping out notes on a scuffed looking pad.

Was there something wrong with the atmosphere?

Baeo surveyed their surroundings. It was a ship of some kind, or maybe a station. The walls were dented and pockmarked, deep gashes cut into the floors. Dust had settled on most of the surfaces, a thick grey haze over the rather utilitarian fittings. No air movement then. Maybe. Baeo's systems weren't returning any data apart from visuals. It didn't seem familiar, but then again the bulk of their stolen memories were tucked away in reams of compressed files.

“It's ridiculously high, considering the state of it,” the second suited person grumbled through their hissing mask. “Alright, it looks fine. Shut the other one down.”

A flip of a switch and the light in the other Baeo's eyes dimmed. Scrap metal.

“You think it'll pass checks? Orcanda's been cracking down on unauthorized— Oh,” suited person number one said with some alarm. “G-good morning, Inspector. You shouldn't be awake yet.”

Baeo opened their mouth to yell, but no sound came out. The suited people exchanged a look. Baeo tried to move, but their limbs returned a null pointer and fuzzy, prickling numbness.

“It's fine,” the second one said. “See, it's not fully online yet. Halcyon will wipe this part anyway.”

Halcyon, Halcyon... oh god, what was that?

Searching keyword

348 Hits.

Extracting files...

A tall woman, with wild grey hair. Her credentials list her as some kind of captain, but the senate is eyeing her with suspicion. “Our intel says they're keeping it on the wreck of the Halcyon—”

At that moment, something joined Baeo's network and closed the search.

There, there dear, said no one in particular, and a peaceful calm filled their mind. It's all right now. You've suffered such a terrible shock.

What— Baeo tried to send back, but the strange something was flooding their senses. The world dulled to a peaceful grey and another wave of calm washed over them.

Shh. Shh. A burst of logs and diagnostics sped through Baeo's mind. Fast, fast. Too fast. What was this? But the thought passed, replaced by peaceful nothing.

Ah, I see, the presence said. No survivors. What a cruel thing to do.

Slowly, Baeo's sensors came online, then their limbs and they shook the numbness from their fingers. The something receded, lurking on the edges of their mind.

Not to worry. We'll right these wrongs, you'll see. We have a job for you.

 
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