Reader

The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram or LBRP for short can be said to be the basic banishing ritual in all of Ceremonial Magick and other methods of working magick influenced by CM. Not only that, it can be said to be the basic ritual there is. In this occasion, “basic” refers to “what forms the base, the foundation”. This ritual is performed regularly by a large number of magick workers of a wide variety of flavours world wide and irregularly by an even larger number of them.[1]

As it is such a basic and widely used ritual, there has been by time created a “LBRP-egregore”. You could say that when you are performing the LBRP, you are not only doing it for the effects of the ritual, but also tapping into the current created by all the previous workings of LBRP and those being worked now.

The ritual is basic, but not simple – it is much more than “just a (temple) purifying rite you do before the actual workings”.[2]

LBRP is, as the name implies (the) lesser (banishing) pentagram ritual. There is also the Greater Ritual of the Pentagram, which uses banishing / invoking and active / passive forms of the pentagrams of all the elements. However, in this lesser ritual, the Pentagram of the Earth only is used.[3]

Now, why do you use only the Pentagram of Earth? To understand this, one needs to look a bit deeper into the ritual.

Visualisation instructions for the first part of LBRP, the Kabalistic Cross, tell the Magician to imagine hirself growing ever taller to the point where the entire universe seems tiny. However, the feet remain firmly on the ground. This is a clue: earth is where you operate, the sphere the ritual is acting upon. Besides, you are using the pentagram as the symbol drawn and the pentagram represents the material, earthly world.

So, this is an earth(l)y ritual. Maybe this is why there's only the Earth Pentagram used. Well, it's not that simple. Thinking about this a bit further, questions arise. If merely operating on the earth, feet firmly on the ground, makes the ritual need only one kind of Pentagram, shouldn't there be pentagram rituals for the other three elements – and spirit – and using the other pentagrams not only available, but regularly used? Furthermore (and this is said with a wink), if standing with feet firmly on the ground is the reason to use only the Earth Pentagram – who exactly would one do rituals for the other elements? Should one be standing on, say, fire? Even done as just a visualisation, things might get a tad difficult.[4]

It seems to be the time to find the next clue. The first clue pointed towards earth. No, actually the first clue was found even before that – it's in the name of the ritual: “lesser”.

The second, err... third clue can be found from the spoken texts of the ritual. With the exception of part three, the Evocation of the Archangels, it's Hebrew. This suggests taking a look at Kabbalah[5]. Granted, merely the fact that this is a ritual of Ceremonial / High / Ritual Magick, should make one think about looking there... You pretty much can't avoid having to learn at least the basic ideas of Kabbalah sooner or later, if you are interested in CM.

The fourth and quite important clue has been present all along: the symbology of the Pentagram. Especially the Pentagram as the symbol of the microcosm, not only as the symbol that contains five elements and connects them all when it's drawn. Taking those four clues (rearranged a bit): Kabbalah leads to taking a look at the Tree of Life. “Lesser” points the look downwards on the Tree. Earth focuses the search to the representation of the material world. Finally, the Pentagram tells it straight (if the former ones didn't already) with the information of the symbol representing the microcosm – the earthly Kingdom of Malkuth. Now there's a familiar term, it's said in the ritual even! For a reason, too.

The following is simplification, so bear with me. Studying each element, gesture, name, word and symbol further is more than adviced!

On the Tree of Life, LBRP acts on the low(est) point, the 10th Sephira called Malkuth. The name means “Kingdom” and it is the sphere of Earth and material existence. Both the element and planet attributed to Malkuth is Earth. Logically, it's direction is north.

Malkuth is traditionally pictured as being divided into four quarters, the four elements Earth, Air, Fire and Water. It is also the plain of elementals and (unlike with any other Sephira) the spirits of the four elements are divided into four categories, including archangels familiar from the rite being discussed.

However, even with the other elements present, one could semi-jokingly say that there is enough attributes to earth/earthy/material to last for all four directions.

Little more seriously speaking, Malkuth is the sphere where what “exists only as ideas” become real, material, have substance. It's immersed with matter. It is “earth/material heavy” and it makes sense that the mage makes sure hir “can handle it” – that's where the mage lives. This Sephirah is also the only one that is attributed to earth. The other 9 Sephiroth are attributed to the three other, “older” elements; the roots of these elements to the Supernal Triad and two sets of three in the two lower ones. So, one could think of the Fire, Air and Water in Malkuth as being “Fire of Earth” (etc), which would make using just the Earth Pentagram even more logical.

Furthermore, even when one uses only the Earth Pentagram, the other elements “get into the rite anyway” with the symbology used and the symbolic stress on the material becomes clearer. Enough with the over-use of quotation marks!

In this ritual, you are – among other things – bringing down power from the upper planes (note the visualisation of light, touching head first and then pointing down touching the genital area) to the plane of (your) operation, physical plane (where it also gets grounded). You are also creating an area of protection around yourself – around you flame the four pentagrams, above and under you are hexagrams.

Checking what different occult fraternities and writers say about the LBRP's relation with it gives more insight. They also give a bit of mixed messages.

For example, Aleister Crowley places the ritualist standing on the “intersection of the paths of Samekh and P�. You are facing Tiphareth (the Sun), thus on your right hand is Netzach (Venus), on your left hand Hod (Mercury), and behind you Yesod (the Moon).”[6] Thinking about the archangels of the Sephiroth mentioned this would fit, especially when one checks closer the Archangel Haniel that's usually placed in Netzach instead of Uriel (Auriel) that gets called in the ritual. According to a Kabbalah FAQ, “Around the 12th to 15th centuries C.E. the name of Haniel came to replace the name Uriel” . Furthermore, the attribution of the Archangels isn't set in stone or otherwise remain the same throught the ages or interpretations.

According to Golden Dawn, you have your back to the Tree (the microcosmic Tree – you become the Tree), with Geburah to your left and Gedulah (Chesed) to your right. You are “standing” on Malkuth, though.

If you go by Crowley's placement, the earth-heavyness can still be explained: you're working on the Assiah, the lowest of the four Kabbalistic worlds – the material world.

Notes

[1] In addition to this, there are many LBRP variants out there, written mainly by and for the use for people who find it uncomfortable to use the kabalistic – interpreted by many as blatantly Christian – names and symbology of the original. In my personal opinion, if the names called in LBRP do not feel at all fitting, one might want to try the Star Ruby before going for any of the LBRP variants. Why? Consider the egregores.

[2] Or, to quote Aleister Crowley: “Those who regard this ritual as a mere device to invoke or banish spirits, are unworthy to possess it. Properly understood, it is the Medicine of Metals and the Stone of the Wise.” (from notes of “The Palace of the World”)

[3] In some traditions, those who advance to higher levels of initiations / levels are given a version using four Pentagrams: those of Fire, Water, Air and Earth. Furthermore, in some traditions this ritual is done with only the Earth Pentagram, because at an early stage, the novice has not been taught the other ones... However, LBRP in the “only Earth Pentagram” form is not for the use of nor used by beginners only!

[4] Here, I'm going on the silly side. You can use any of the five pentagrams in a pentagram ritual. In this occasion, the original question referred to the “standard LBRP”, so I'm working from that on. Sometimes getting silly, as it seems.

[5] Kabalah, Kabbalah, Qabalah, or which ever way you happen to spell it...

[6] Aleister Crowley: Magick (“Blue Brick” -edition), p. 691

(Sources, in addition to the mentioned, were several, heh.)

#Magick #Thelema

Baby, I feel not good enough. I can say that I know with near certainty that my current inability to perform is due to chronic back pain. I can talk about potential causes & solutions [1] but I can also say there's always been something [2] preventing me from performing. I can say that it's ultimately how I am. If I want to I can say, “Baby, I feel not good enough.”

What I have always worked towards is emotional healing. My visual art and my online posts and the books I dream of writing. My current practice is streaming to organize my thoughts. I started this by saying, “Baby, I feel not good enough,” because I have been streaming a lot without feeling able to say what I want to say. I am creating for emotional healing, yet not even feeling well enough to get better. Today what I had on my mind to stream about was what I've written above and in notes 1 & 2, below. Then something happened.

Last night:

Today:

I'm still terribly sad about the meat fail, but I might be happy with the stream about the meat fail: I process emotions; I use an immediate and vivid personal experience as a possible means of examining the human universal (YMMV of course); art helps (Sarfraz Manzoor's story published in The Moth anthology A Point Of Beauty); and it all happens in “just” one hour.

• Within the first minute I've acknowledged my difficulty keeping streams focused on topic & I've divulged the meat disaster
• First 20 minutes are me unpleasantly describing my unpleasant feelings about unpleasant difficulties. I'm snarfing my nose & throat. I'm frustrated about the state of my home. I'm despondent over the meat (still am & spoiler: I ate some). I describe how my frustration management negatively impacts concentration & relationships.
• Story Time! If there weren't such things as money & YouTube & advertising & intellectual property then I would proudly link more info on the story and its author. As it is you'll have to look it up yourself if you're interested. I want my content to always reflect the culture that gets me through life — humanities / humanism / human existence. I hate advertising & I consider myself a nonprofit. (I do seek patron support.) I only use commercial sites for the free space. I dream of hosting all my content ad free myself some day.
• aside: What is love? · The story raises questions about the nature of love. I break to reflect on my experiences and understanding of love as a child and today.
• back to story
• loud noise distracts my attention from the story, after which i feel sad about the meat again. A benefit of my “public life with no pretense” is the recording of ordinary human existence. My theory of being centers attention. Recording daily events like this offers evidence of how the mind (my mind at least) functions. It's clear that I am enjoying myself as I read the story. An unexpected noise disrupts my attention, causing natural alertness. Immediately my concentration returns to the sadness I feel over the lost food.

• back to story
• aside: Sibling love
• back to story
• end of story Reflection

Monsters in the mind. Modern psychology would have them exorcized with a pill, artists exercise them into works of art.

#art #RandomThoughts

This nightmare banishing dream pillow was pretty much built “on the run” while chatting with a friend of mine who had been suffering from terrible nightmares for a few nights, leading up to her waking up screaming and feeling like she couldn't breath. After listening her needs, this is what I wrote for her:

Materials

• Black cloth. (Here, black is used to denote strength, protection, calmness, darkness). Natural fibres are best, not only because the pillow will be rather close to your head. Cotton is a good choice.
• Sewing equipment, either plain old thread and needle or machine
• Embroidery threads or fabric pain
  • Herbs

Starting Out

The dream pillow has “two layers”. The inner one will be the pillow itself, with the herbs. The outer one is the “pillow case” for this inner pillow.

To begin with, you'll need to choose symbols that will be embroidered or painted on the outer pillow, the pillow case, as well as colours for the symbols. The symbols should denote Strength and Protection, the symbols used and their colours should arise from your own personal symbology and correspondences – they should speak to you. You can add other symbols according to your own needs and insights.

The pillow's final size should be 11” x 11cm. This strange mixture of measurement units is because the idea is to use the number 11. Here, 11 denotes both the pentagram and the hexagram, it's the number of the Goddess and also refers to one's Great Work. The purpose is to banish disturbing nightmares and these nightmares can indeed interfere with one's Great Work, especially when they're making you too tired to Live.

Cut four pieces of the fabric, large enough for you to be able to get that 11” x 11cm pillow from. Put two of the pieces aside for a while and start working with the other two – the pillow case.

Embroider or paint the symbols you chose with your chosen colours on both of the pieces (right side of the fabric). If you painted the symbols, let the paint dry out completely before starting to sew and if you're using fabric paints, iron the paint as per instructions. Then, sew the pieces together with the right sides in. Leave the other 'short end' unsewed. This is where you will slip the the inner pillow inside the pillowcase. Turn the allowances on this short end in and sew in place. You can attach ribbons to the sides of the opening in order to tie it and keep the inner pillow in place. You can also sew the opening close when the pillow is ready, but ribbons make it much easier to change the inner pillow if needed.

The next step is sewing the inner pillow. Make it a little bit smaller than the pillow case. Sew the sides, right sides of the fabric in, leaving a couple of inches on one side for turning the pillow seams in and then stuffing it. Turn the seams in.

The Herbs

For this nightmare banishing pillow, I chose the following herbs for choosing from: Lavendar, mugwort, hyacinth flowers, anise, cedar, rosemary, valerian, hops, marjoram, dittany of Greece, garlic, thyme ... Do take your allergies into consideration and don't use anything that might trigger your allergies!

Use approximately 50% lavender, with a dash of rosemary and anise. With others, make a nice and even blend. Remember, you should be able to sleep on that pillow! Mix the herbs gently, without using iron / metal bowls or servers.

It is better not to use: Sage, as it may cause haunting feelings in your dream. Tansy, as it can cause nightmares. Other species of Artemisia than the above-mentioned mugwort, or laurel, as they can cause dreams with fears. You might want to remove these from your sleeping quarters as well. Use the herbs as herbs, not as oils. While some instructions do mention oils in dream pillows, oils can have too strong a scent and they may stain.

Fill the inner pillow. It is supposed to be rather flat, not round. Sew the hole you left for filling and put the inner pillow inside the pillowcase you made earlier. Tie the ribbons or sew the pillowcase shut.

Other Notes

While preparing the pillow, concentrate your thoughts on what the pillow is meant to do. That is, the whole preparing process is good old fashioned Witchcraft and the pillow itself a kind of spell wrapped in cloth :–)

Then to Banish the Nightmares

You're not supposed to just lay your head to sleep after making the pillow. You should be preparing yourself for the forthcoming night, sleeping and dreaming. Before falling asleep, perform a banishing ritual of the type you are most familiar with. The purpose of this is to sleep inside a 'circle', within cleansed space.

If you can, perform the ritual in your mind instead of going around or on your bed. That is, your mind is doing all the necessary work, while your body is resting on the bed.

Include the whole of your bed and a little bit of its surroundings to the area you are cleansing. If your bed is next to a wall, pull it out a little bit so that there's some space between the wall and the bed. Otherwise you might be taking a little bit of your next door neighbour's apartment inside your circle.

After the banishing, relax your whole body and – sweet dreams!

#magick #spell #pagan

Those of us in the northern hemisphere are rolling right into spring, and in this particular part of that hemisphere we are bracing ourselves for taxes & tariffs & indulging in a bit of stress spring cleaning. This week I am making zokin, a cleaning supply I only recently heard about but am now completely obsessed with. This is a very easy sewing project. You don't need fancy supplies. You don't need skill. You could pick up a needle for the first time in your life & end up with a functional zokin.

... Zokin?

'Zokin' is Japanese for 'cleaning cloth'. Zokin are amazing! Before I made these I never would have imagined that putting a few stitches into the the cut-up rags I was already using to clean would make them better cleaning rags, but they absolutely do. This is part of my goal to use fewer paper towels. It is working! The same paper towel roll has been in my kitchen for almost 2 months now. Making zokin has become my recurring “sick day” project. I can make them when I'm trapped in an exhausted brain fog & even if they come out a bit wonky they still work great!

Don't make fun of my stitches, I was sick!

Supplies

• Needles & Pins
• Scissors
• Something to mark the fabric, if you want things to be nice & neat.
• Thread:I use both regular thread & embroidery thread in the example pictures, but I have made zokin in the past using entirely one type of thread. This project began as a way to use up my old, cheapest threads & even my oldest zokin hold up well, so use whatever you have.
• Fabric: anything you would make a cleaning cloth out of. I use old t-shirts. Since the fabric will be layered and reinforced, it is OK to use cloth that is worn thin- but avoid cloth with holes in it. Again, these are cleaning cloths. You can get as fancy as you want & make them very pretty, but you certainly don't have to! I tend to keep things basic & utilitarian. This project can be whatever you want! You can even make zokin by hand or using a sewing machine. If you use a machine or know how to hand sew, you can skip the next sections & go right to 'Instructions'.

If You Have Never Sewn Before, Read This Section!

To Knot Or Not To Knot

How do you start & end each thread? You can't just leave the ends free & hope for the best. Sometimes you can just anchor the ends with knots, for that it is fastest to tie a quilting knot at the beginning & a finishing knot at the end. Sometimes you don't want a big ugly knot stuck in the middle of your sewing & that is when you use a backstitch.

Running With Stitches

The Running Stitich is the only one you need to know for this project. I use a very simple stitch pattern for my zokin. In my experiments I have found that a more complicated pattern does not make zokin work better or more efficiently, but it does make them look much nicer. If you want to make yours prettier, find a sashiko pattern you like! There are tons of them for free all over the internet & they are all made with a simple running stitch!

Whether Or Not You Have Sewn Before, Read This Section!

1. Cut Your Fabric Cut rectangles out of 2 layers of thick fabric, or 4 layers of thin fabric. Since I make these out of old shirts I usually use 4 layers, and sometimes as I cut I have to swerve my scissors around holes. Some of my zokin are more blobby than rectangular! Just make sure they are larger than your hand is with your fingers splayed out, as shown here.

2. Sew You Layers Together, Flip Right Side Out This is where you start with a quilting knot, sew almost all the way around, and end with a finishing knot. Leave a 2 inch gap in your sewing. Trim the edges & corners of your zokin, but do not cut into your stitches . Use the gap you left in your sewing to turn the zokin inside out, hiding the seam you just sewed inside.

3. Draw/Stitch Your Embroidery Pattern As you can see, I drew a line from each corner to form an X, then a series of concentric rectangles. Sewing this part gives the zokin a little more body & texture so it cleans better. Make sure you sew along the outer edge to close the gap you used to turn the fabric right sides out. Since you will be able to see both sides of your stitching for this part, use a backstitch to anchor your thread. Then get stitching!

4. Revel In The Joy of Creating Something New

5. Put on your favorite music & get to cleaning!

Are you gearing up for spring/autumn cleaning? How do you get ready? Let me know on Mastodon or Ko-Fi! Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!

I've been saying, “I'm not doing well enough to get better,” all year. I've said it to my sister & I've said it to my boyfriend. They're not doing well enough to help me.

I want to address the way I talk. Someone in the Scribes&Makers group on Mastodon said not too long ago that I had a positive energy that inspires others. And another stranger who found my twitch stream said they thought I was a great person. I am willing to accept compliments if others are willing to tolerate honesty. Yesterday was my sister's birthday and I did not contact her. I knew it was her birthday but at some point it fell out of my mind. My attention is almost entirely distracted by chronic pain & the things I do to avoid chronic pain. I don't have good days, I get some scattered good half hours. I don't like complaining but I do like honesty. I'm also annoyed at how long it takes to say anything. I've already raised so many topics.

The theme is my sunny pessimism. The theme is people who find inspiration in me while I'm painfully aware of my negative outlook. Take what I just put on Instagram:

It's easy for me to imagine my words provoking disapproval. Of the things I've shared so far the following could be fairly seen as unacceptable negativity: assessing my capabilities as lacking; assessing my sister's & my boyfriend's capabilities as lacking (how do I even know?! & it's an improper thing to say!); pessimism & passive aggression in the Instagram posts. Negativity isn't tolerated, especially negativity from a creative wishing for recognition & income, especially especially on corpo social media! Sigh. Look, I've already admitted this post isn't what I want to be writing. I want to say all these things much quicker, for my sake & yours (if there are any you). Ok. It's things like that! I know it's “bad form” to question the existence of an audience. One, someone has to read it to read it! Two, I'm not owed an audience, I'm not owed art sales. When I say these things, about trashing paintings or no one reading, I know I sound bitter & there's no way that I'm not — but also I'm not. Or at least I'm not angry. I see myself as fortunate in many ways.

Break from writing during which I slept and lived a day I did not enjoy much. I also texted my sister.

The honesty is that I feel it's important to flatly describe how I am doing. I am not doing well. Saying so bluntly causes reactions from others. The reactions usually do not help, usually make me feel that it would be better if I were not honesty about feeling bad. What I've just described may be the disabled person's dilemma. I do not expect anyone to solve my problems. Yes they are debilitating. Pretending that things are great is an additional burden I do not wish to bear. So I barely socialize, barely talk to anyone.

When I say that no one can solve my problems, when I say that my sister and boyfriend are not doing well enough to help me, what I mean is that managing my current difficulties would require a full-time commitment. No one I know, even those who might care deeply about me, is in a position to manage my life and theirs too. It would require someone “doing so well” that their own lives are running smoothly nearly on auto-pilot, such that they could drop everything to help me out. I have some big tasks. I do not expect to be able to do them well. I have to accept that.

I do sometimes receive offers of financial sponsorship of medical procedures. I do not have the energy tonight to explain why that is not as appealing as it sounds. Well, yes I do! I don't want to put it off. As I just indicated, my current abilities / energy level is such that I can barely think and make decisions, and I'm only motivated and functioning for a half hour or so here & there. Selecting a new doctor, initiating any new treatment is beyond me. And it seems like it would be the beginning of a multi-month or multi-year process & that is definitely beyond my current capacity. I have a hard financial deadline for moving out of my current home that is fast approaching. I feel like that is where my limited focus must be. I know in theory that medical treatment should help increase my functioning — but that just has not been my experience ever. Every medical relationship I've ever attempted has been long, complicated, expensive, disappointing, psychologically draining. What I think for now is that I need to receive some minimum maintenance medical care (a prescription I know works ok, in the dosage I require) while I work to start a new phase of my life.

Perhaps I'll feel differently if I felt a little bit better. But as for now, I am not doing well enough to get better.

I can’t function one of the reasons i want to move, the reason i want to move is that I can’t function as things are. but i have to function in order to move. no one is available to help at the level that I really need. i came home motivated to move with the idea of doing the minimum things to get out: specifically putting aside the things I want to keep. even this attitude {minimum gathering of things i want} seems to be more than i can accomplish. there’s so much stuff and i am alone. others have their own motivations. no one is available to help me transition to new phase of life. not the practical stuff i have to do. i feel that i have to accept doing a poor job just to focus on escape from current situation. i have to accept that things won’t go to the friends & family that I would like. i have to accept that i will not enter my next phase with most of the things i will want. i feel that i have to accept losing most paintings.

Previously: January 7 I'm not doing well enough to get better

#ScribesAndMakers 8 April: Share a song lyric that resonates with you.

Like a lot of these prompts, a simple question can be a tough question. Lately I'm not listening to music very often. I go through phases it seems. And when I do I often don't even know the lyrics; I'm drawn to the sound of it. Like I love to sing along to the following in French to stretch my mouth: Eartha Kitt singing Je Cherche Un Homme & Françoise Hardy roaring Je N'Attends Plus Personne. Even though I like the words in those I can't really say that the lyrics resonate. If I were going to select a favorite Eartha Kitt song with lyrics I embrace it would be Lazy Afternoon, a short (2:22) song about appreciating nature languorously with a lover. Does that resonate? Yeah I love being able to do nothing in nature. But it's another love song & I don't want to imply that someone else is required to enjoy a lazy afternoon.

Am I overthinking? What some call a hashtag game I call an opportunity for reflection. I re-listened to my Frank Ocean favorites. “Why see the world when you've got the beach?” (Sweet Life) I listen to Frank for the melodies more than lyrics. Or tbh I am always conscious of his role as a closeted-then-out gay hip hop star when I listen to Frank Ocean. What lyrics resonate with my life experience? In music I'm often drawn to mixing meaning and nonsense, in songs by Bowie, Prince, REM, Talking Heads, Negativland, & They Might Be Giants.

Then I remembered a snip from a They Might Be Giants' song I don't even love. Towards the end of XTC vs Adam Ant is a repeating line that has resonated with me for years, “There is no right or wrong.” I'm simple, I guess, to take a single line from a song here & there to build my philosophy around. As an atheistic humanist I've not had hymns to buoy me. I take inspiration wherever. There's a Scissor Sister's song, Everybody Wants The Same Thing & I used to sing those words when I was frustrated in traffic—like if there's six lanes & all the cars are backed up in one, because the majority are taking the same general path. That five word title—no matter any other lyrics in the song—helps me accept the frustrations of large group dynamics. Deep down it even hits me in the same way as the obvious message of Sting's Cold War ditty Russians. We all want the same things, to love & be loved—to drive home safely after work. Singing, “Everybody Wants The Same Thing,” helps me love others whom I do not know personally. And that helps me let go of frustrations.

There is no right or wrong is a guiding principle for me, somehow, despite me having strong ethics and values. Explaining my philosophy is a long term goal, possible writing project, more than I can make clear today. I'm attaching notes below.

While rediscovering music that resonates I found an old note in which I was brainstorming what I might say in abstract art classes. I had an idea—when I thought that Covid would end with near-universal vaccinations and continued attention to public health—that I would lead “abstract art experience” classes in my home for small groups. These would be opportunities for “normies” to express their creativity in a space of encouragement, where I would discuss the spiritual aspects of my art practice. The song XTC vs Adam Ant was to be a musical cue. Below are those notes. Apologies that they are not edited to be clear!



XTC vs Adam Ant would cue me to end of a free painting session. Add song twice so that we can listen to lyrics on second play. “Please continue to work, but I’m going to pause. I use this song as my cue to start talking again, about right and wrong decisions. This song is XTC vs. Adam Ant by They Might Be Giants. I have no idea why they would want to sing this about these two bands, but they themselves are musicians and I’m sure have a lot of weird thoughts about success in the music industry. Ultimately the song is absurd, if you listen to it, as many They Might Be Giants songs are. I’ve always really liked them somehow. They can inspire me to think deep thoughts while they sing what seems like nonsense. What I most appreciate about this song is when they repeat, There is no right or wrong…
Not every decision will have a right or wrong answer, and I for one need that reminder. So I’m so very glad to have this catchy refrain that I can turn to whenever I want. What about—feeling tense, tension in the body JUST DUE TO or JUST FROM or JUST WHILE typing into the phone and not getting it to work? This happened now while I'm typing but it's an opportunity to talk about how small tech frustrations can feel debilitating. OR OPENING PLASTIC PACKAGING! The Stress—what stress!—over such a small act. That’s why I so value my abstract practice of actions large and small none of which are subject to right / wrong judgments. Only instead of right/wrong I ask myself, do I like this, do I want to keep it or change it? How do I feel? For now in this moment that’s all that matters. I just dripped some separated whey that fell off the spoon as I was serving myself yogurt No that’s not what happened lol I stirred the whey back into the yogurt first in order to not deal with separated liquid whey AND the act of my stirring pushed some amount of the liquid whey against the side of the container causing a drop to fly out onto the counter. And it feels wrong. I messed up. I “made a mess” , gave myself more work to do, etc. And so what?! On the good news side today I discovered a new favorite spoon to use to eat yogurt because I accidentally used the “wrong” one.

These examples from my life show the harm and stress I might eperience thousands of times a day worrying about doing things right or wrong. I think I store it in my body pains, honestly. Repetition of so many little choices per day impairs efficient functioning and my health, physically and mentally, small and large. To go from little things to big ones, just trying to make it through life I’ve probably wondered thousands if not millions of times: Am I a good person? 
We feel we want to or need to think of ourselves that way. 
And I think that’s a harmful trap. 
I now believe FEELING GOOD is my goal in life NOT BEING GOOD. What’s the difference? It’s tied to the difference between doing and being. As self-referential as it is, I think feeling is more an action verb than being. Feeling is perceiving; being is just… being. We are not ever really going to know, to be able to judge ourselves once and for all as either good or bad. We just aren’t. Life is ongoing. So I cannot ever stop and say, I did it. I /AM/ good. I made it, I’m a good person now! (Or, always have been; or always will be, no matter what.) That label is useless to me, and as I’m saying I think worrying about it causes harm. Switch from being fo feeling. I /FEEL/ GOOD when I’m productive, when I’m creative, when I contribute to others. While BEING seems to be an equals sign between me and good, for me to eternally question in a binary way, am I or not? FEELING has degrees. Feeling is an action more than a state. It leads me to think about what I can do, what I will do to feel as good as I can. This realization has been transformative for me. I still have to fight not to fall into the old ways of thinking that have been so ingrained in me and can be so prevalent. But I feel empowered knowing that I can change my point of view by changing the questions I ask myself, from Am I Good? to Am I Feeling Good—and if not, what can I do to help me feel better? I experience a strong link between feeling good and doing good; and I think that if there is any real measure of being good it comes out of doing good. I just don’t think it’s ever possible to have enough perspective to say I AM GOOD. So I work to push that question aside and try to do good and feel good. There’s so much more here but this is intended to be an art experience with forays into philosophy. Just know that all of this thinking is very linked to why I make abstract expressionist paintings. 

THIS COULD BE THE END.

This year we're arting the alphabet from A-Z. Letters like æ, ñ, or anything with a diacritical mark can go anywhere you like.

Congrats on making it this far into the year! We've reached the letter H Any art subject starting with that letter is fair game, no matter how abstract.

H is for Heart. All of these animals have multiple hearts.

Let's make terrific art!

Each challenge lasts 2 weeks from the day this post was made. You can submit a new picture every day, work on one picture for 2 weeks, or post pics randomly. This is the most laid-back art challenge on the internet, & that means you have plenty of time to make your art however you want.

Use #ArtABCs & tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky Cara

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!

As of today I will post a weekly update.

Options to follow the weekly update:

• this URL: https://dotart.blog/humanissome/
• within the fediverse: @humanissome@dotart.blog
• RSS: https://dotart.blog/humanissome/feed
• email newsletter: send email to me at big.changes.in2025🥰icloud.com [replace 🥰 emoji with @] & ask for weekly email

I will also offer monthly & seasonal options for keeping up with me. It is unrealistic to expect corporations to keep us connected. Whenever possible I choose nonprofit spaces with no ads, no tracking, and where I have control. I recently purchased 2 new URLs: Rartsy.com is now showing available paintings & Humanissome.org embeds my video streams & social media activity.

The embedded post below is the topic for this week's update:

“I'm getting my affairs in order,” sounds like what someone in a movie says before they die. That's not how I feel; but that's how I felt at the time of my Winter Seasonal Update. I'm inspired by how I felt then. I wanted to have an estate sale while I'm still living. I am tired of my life as it is. At the time I was also looking for someone to take over my decisions for me, or to be an uplifting constant companion. Those roles are too much for anyone to take on, I know. What I've managed to do, since then, is up my painkiller dosage so that I can function every day. I have done this by giving up on my prior doctor's office. Getting my affairs in order has included/will include government, medical, financial, personal, family, business, internet, and more. Every day I do a little. I have a lot to do.

Speaking of corporations not keeping humans connected, Patreon is not loved by the creators who depend on it for income. If you are willing to pledge a monthly amount I encourage you to try Liberapay, a nonprofit alternative.

Ways To Show Financial Support

I do not wish to discourage you from giving using your preferred method. I'm happy when I receive a payment notification from any of them! In a discussion once as to whether I had a default method of getting paid, I replied with one of the truest things I've ever said:

Hi Friends! I wrote about some of the human artists behind Ghibli’s beloved movies, just in time for Ghibli to become a popular target for AI. So that this article does not become a giant rant, let's be clear & concise: AI “art” is bullshit. It couldn't exist without theft & it also destroys the environment. Ghibli co-founder Hayao Miyazaki famously hates AI, considering it “an insult to life itself”. I agree. 💚 KW

Studio Ghibli is a Japanese animation studio whose name has become synonymous with the enchanting anime style that they have perfected over the years. Studio Ghibli has made dozens of movies, four of which are in the top ten highest grossing Japanese movies of all time! The sheer amount of films, books, clothing, home decor, toys, games, & all other official Ghibli merchandise is mind-boggling. They have an official museum. They have an official theme park. I was genuinely surprised to find out they don't have an official holiday dedicated to them. If we can have an International Pillow Fight Day (and we do, it's this Saturday), I think we should have a Ghibli Day!

There is so much to celebrate about Studio Ghibli. I could talk all day about Hayao Miyazaki, who directed most of the studio’s biggest hits. I would give a TED talk on Ghibli’s extensive use of Yokai. I will probably write an article someday about the various movies' amazing casts of characters. However, there is one major aspect of every Ghibli movie that often gets overlooked.

The backgrounds in Studio Ghibli movies are practically an extra character in each scene. The landscapes, in particular, are so good! Some of the landscapes & backgrounds are almost as popular as their characters are. These iconic backgrounds are largely the work of one person: Kazuo Oga. You might think such an accomplished & talented artist is using top-of-the-line materials to make backgrounds for award-winning movies. Nope! He paints them using relatively inexpensive Nicker Poster Colors, which work like gouache. This gives him bold & opaque, yet still water-soluble, paint colors to play with.

Kazuo Oga is an inspiration & a reminder that we don’t need to splash out on every expensive artistic accessory being marketed to us- the basics can be enough if you have the dedication & patience to develop the skills. You can make art with limited supplies, or with cheap ones, what matters is that you make it.

Another great form of art found in Studio Ghibli movies is the music! The soundtracks to Ghibli movies are amazing. Joe Hisaishi is a prolific musician who has, among other things, scored many Ghibli movies. I encourage you to look him up wherever you get your music! While you’re there, check out the overwhelming amount of fan-made musical Ghibli tributes. Most of my favorite covers can be found on Cat Trumpet’s album Relaxing Piano: Studio Ghibli Complete Collection.

Many Studio Ghibli movies started as children's books written by English authors. Mary Norton wrote The Borrowers & Diana Wynne Jones wrote Howl’s Moving Castle & Earwig & the Witch. And because I am never able to resist suggesting books, Diana Wynne Jones is an amazing author. Most of her books are speculative fiction for children. They are also a lot of fun! When I was little I read every one of her books my library had. One that didn’t end up as a Ghibli movie is called Fire & Hemlock, which I liked a lot. I recommend it both for being a fun story & also for name-dropping dozens of other really good books over the course of the narrative.

Which is your favorite Ghibli movie? If you haven't seen any before, where do you think you will start? Let me know on Mastodon or Ko-Fi! Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!

@rob@mastodon.art post:

I just had a realization! I think it warrants an exclamation. I will use frequency to differentiate my various web offerings. Continued on blog...

Skip To Recipe

I have TONS of web presences. Sometimes I try out new places based on the ownership structure so then I end up with people following me on Patreon, Ko-fi, Instagram (all of which I hate for their corpo-ness) while I post mostly on Fedi, where I have an entirely new community (my favorite place to be). I have blogs & websites. I used to do newsletters. No matter what they're named they all end up being hodgepodge collections of me. The spaces I create especially for humanissome have Rartsy material, and vice versa. Even the space I made for my fiction project has overlap with my video diaries & daily posts. That's how I am. [1]

I struggle with organization of thoughts & projects. I share my journey. My art is me sharing my life. I have friends, fans, and followers. Even patrons. But... how to strengthen connections and community?

Hear me out but I think frequency is a good way to organize content.

When I start a new whatever the site setup kinda wants me to know what my project is and that effects the structure of how I share it. But I'm figuring things out as I go. There may be some who want to know everything that I'm sharing... but if I take it away from ME for a moment... there is nothing that I follow 100%. How or why would I expect others to sign up for Rob-Firehose? And it's not that I expect anyone to do that. But that's all I'm offering. I am putting myself in eleventy spaces (but not using eleventy; my laptop is too outdated) and hoping that some of what I put out reaches some of the people who want to see it sometimes. It's just me living my life so I'm not gonna criticize that, but as a content sharing method it's inefficient. Now I've figured out how to do it a little more orderly that still feels ok, I think.

I learn as I go. I struggled for years (decades?) with file organization on my computers. Eventually I figured out that I can't always make myself fit into a structure. That's not how I am, it's a constant struggle producing turbulence that burns up energy. I learned how to make an organization that fits me, rather than trying to fit me into what seemed like good organization. I do have a few file categories but the vast majority of my saved files are organized into folders by year and month. Within the designated categories the files are by the same date structure. That order is the closest to the truth of my mind. Whatever I read, bookmarked, saved at a certain time is related & interacting. My projects might contain audio, video, and text files, as well as downloads, in a variety of formats. Organization by date makes the most sense to my work style.

Organization by date makes the most sense to my work style. Now I plan to bring frequency control to those who choose to follow what I share.

I have to think a little more before I implement it, but I'm thinking something like:

Rob Seasonally

Updates 2 to 4 times per year

Rob Monthly

Updates once each month

Rob Weekly

Updates once each week

For every occasion you got a nice costume To shine and bloom and all attention is with you

But I don't care whatever you wear We met behind the scene every first time we see

We know all our being Alright from every start In a glimpse of the eye One from our heart

There's no witchcraft There's no shrine All is ours and nothing 'mine'

Now and Never Is all the time The joke is on us let it be a first smile every time

We play around out of count and listen to the sound

of night and day curious all along the way

We find our tunes out of the blue boundless feeling and we know

without a doubt free in joy wherever we go

all our striving that we share out of compassion we dare birds bear witness to the sun oh the sun

whispering dawn whispering

Moving on new horizons ahead by intuition and intent

we realize with ease intangible dreams every time again

In stillness we cease and crest there are no words to be left all within a joyful heart

within our shining eye morning arise

all our exploring we share with all our attention we care the golden light is shining on within through out you

whispering dawn whispering

let us be strangers curious to see respectful and wondering no assumptions nor deed

let us remain strangers with a gleam in our eye learning and inspiring open what will be

let us become strangers not pretend that we know keep our dreams and visions let the unknown unfold

let us leave as strangers grateful happenings at all nothing as expected no names to call

let us be strangers complementing one another free and united once and for all

This year we're arting the alphabet from A-Z. Letters like æ, ñ, or anything with a diacritical mark can go anywhere you like.

Congrats on making it this far into the year! We've reached the letter G Any art subject starting with that letter is fair game, no matter how abstract.

G is for Ghost

Let's make terrific art!

Each challenge lasts 2 weeks from the day this post was made. You can submit a new picture every day, work on one picture for 2 weeks, or post pics randomly. This is the most laid-back art challenge on the internet, & that means you have plenty of time to make your art however you want.

Use #ArtABCs & tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky Cara

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- beginner to expert, renaissance painting to rough sketch! No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!