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A Creation Story

In the beginning there was Chaos. Chaos was not being, nor non-being. There was no light, nor darkness, no depth nor undepth, nor height nor unheight. There was absolute nothing, filled with potential to everything and the Potential and the Nothing were One.

Ages went by as they will always do and the Chaos of nothing and everything in one and neither stirred. Nobody and everybody knows why Chaos stirred – it was what was to be.

The Will to Live was born, but with hir was born hir ever-present twin, the Inevitable Death, as there will be no life without death, nor death without life, as there is no Light without Darkness, nor Night without Day. Neither Will to Live nor Inevitable Death are good nor evil.

Then Will to Live and the Inevitable Death breathed onto and into each others, making love to each other, with the blessing of the Chaos who never seeked to be Divided, nor to be Unified because with Hir everything is already nothing and everything.

And they created all forms of life and all forms of death as none will be without the other.

So the Will to Live created ever new ways to live and the Inevitability of Death silenced them, but Death is always a step behind the Life, as Death will not take the yet unliving, as there is nothing for Death to take. Nor will Life be born without the yet undied, as there is nothing for Life to grow on.

Thus will the dance of Life and Death ever go on, until Chaos stirs again.

And Chaos looked at it all, and said -

I am the Beginning of it All. I am at the Unborn and the Undying. I am not evil. I am not good. I am. I was here before there was here and will be here after it All has ended. Fear me not, though I know you will as the fear of me is in you lest you look beyond the Will to Live and the Inevitable Death. Embrace me and never stay the same.

#Paganism #Deities

I love what I do so much. A snarketarian might say, “What the fick do you do? You have no daily job that produces income!” And that is true.

Here's what I do:

Now I'm waiting for a telehealth call from my pain doctor. Improving my physical condition is essential for me to do anything else. I'm happy to be working on this goal with help.

I'm talking to friends and new friends and neglected friends and physician assistants and neighbors and random folk — all with joy and respect. I'm not at my best every moment so I'd rate myself as spreading 93% joy. I see results in my effect on others.

I'm cleaning my house. A little every day. With joy. I'm keeping an assortment of plants alive. I'm inviting visitors over.

I'm cooking every meal at home, happily.

I'm walking and stretching every day.

I'm enjoying nature so much.

I'm celebrating human culture with books, videos, and music all free from the library. I'm so happy about that.

I may use equipment at the library to digitize some old family items. I feel good about that.

Is there more? What else is there?

I'm sharing my journey openly. I feel very satisfied with that evolution of my art practice.

---

What I'm not doing: feeling mad, sad, bitter, jealous, greedy, impatient, or bored.

I know how to be happy!

Every 2 weeks I post a new art challenge prompt! The new #KWPrompts is #Seabird “Seabirds” are technically only one subset of marine birds, but all marine birds are welcome for this art challenge! Bring on your best penguins, albatross, petrels, gulls, pelicans, terns, puffins... Ever notice how many ocean birds begin with the letter P?

Did you know that water birds can go from swimming to flying without having to dry out first? Their feathers are coated in special oils and very dense, so they stay dry! (Pre-K book recommendation: Ducks Don't Get Wet by Augusta Goldin.)

If you had asked me this morning if I had a favorite seabird, I would have said “No”, & I would have been a damned liar. Looking through my old work shows that that the only kind I've ever painted is penguins. I guess they win by default! Do you have a favorite seabird? Share it with us! Let's spend the next 2 weeks making terrific art

Each challenge lasts 2 weeks from the day this post was made. You can submit a new picture every day, work on one picture for 2 weeks, or post pics randomly. This is the most laid-back art challenge on the internet, & that means you have plenty of time to make your art however you want.

Use #KWPrompts #Seabird & tag me @KarinWanderer!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky Cara

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- beginner to expert, renaissance painting to rough sketch! No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!

some poetry exercises from yesterdays class

So had my class last evening, missed last weaks and slipped out of the poets mindset, feel a bit more motivated now after doing last evenings class. Did some responses to other poems this is what i wrote.

Wonderings Paths following paths Wandering trails under woods, Scent of fresh damp leaves over streams, over fields, through shire and town Smell of fires burning. One step following another On the autumnal route, Cold chill feel of air on skin Plodding along on the trails forever For no sake but for the walk itself.

fagile life Fragility of life, Day in day out we breath, Breith after breith Go about a daily routine Have drama and joys Day in, day out we go about Not realising the fragility, Of are mortal coils.. We create a bubble of things, People and possessions, Activities to distract ourselves From the day in and day out Without being thankful, of truely Noticing are small insignificance The moment of now Then it's over.

Metamophosis Metamorphosis of seed to sapling to tree The ecosystem of growth all around Photosynthesis of light to energy The mycelium under the ground, Sharing its nutrients with trees above. Higher and far older than all other living things Mighty trees boroughs of sequoia and oaks Standing tall poking tree tops into the sky Mighty fortresses of nature Withstanding winds of gales, year in year out, Decade in decade out.

Disposable fashion The toxic waste of the worlds nations Pawned onto those in third world countries The toxic waste of a capitalist economy Forced onto an unwitting populus of the trendy Shameful fast fashion, faster than mcdonalds Half less tasty than the cardboard in bread. And far more tacky.

Got to use my 5 senses to discribe a place from memory for my homework. So need to set some time aside.

We are still using carol anne duffys bbc meastro course some useful infomation but glade i have a tutor too.

moving forward want to get into writing and reading pulp fantasy stuff so might do that here and rename the blog.

Thank you.

The general public is usually familiar mostly with the so called Olympian gods and goddesses along with a few others, but the Greek pantheon includes also other lessed known deities. Some of them were “lesser know” for even the ancient Greek, as there wasn't proper cult or organized worshipping connected to these deities. One of these is Khaos (Chaos). There's rather little information available in our time about Khaos, considering her part in the birth of the world and other deities in the Greek mythology.

The earliest written references on Khaos can be found in the book “Theogony” by Hesiod, who lived in the 700's before common era. In Theogony, Hesiod describes the birth of the world and the Gods, as well as Greek mythology.

The word “Khaos” means space, gap, darkness and void, referring to Khaos as that which is between heaven and earth. Khaos was also calles – albeit rarely – as Poros ('passage, contriver, intriguer') and Aeros ('air').

When the world begun, Khaos was there. She is the goddess who predates everything else – gods and even the world. After Khaos arose Gaia (earth), Eros (love) and Tartaros. Without a mate, Khaos gave birth to Erebos (darkness) and Nyx (night). From the love between these two, were born Aether (light) and Hemera (day; according to Bacchylides, Hemera's father is Khronos). Nyx also bore other children – Moros, Ker, Thanatos, Hypnos, the Oneiroi, Momos, Oizys, the Hesperides, the Keres, the Moirai, Nemesis, apate, Philots, Geras and Eris1, who are all spirits affecting human lives (daimones).

Hyginus, who wrote in Latin in the 100's, relates a slightly different story in his listing of gods Mythographi Fabularum Liber. He wrote: “Ex Caligine Chaos” – Khaos woas born out of moisture, fog. Hyginus continues to tell how out of Khaos and fog were born also Nox (Nyx), Dies (day, Hemera), Erebus (Erebos) and Aether. That is, Khaos is the mother of not only night and darkness, but also day and light.

Khaos with her offspring form the more “etheric” side of the world in the Greek mythology, consisting of deities of seasons, personifications of states of consciousness (from dreams to deaths) and spirits of feelings and states of mind. Some sources do say, that Khaos was originally an ancient goddess of ear, mist and fog.

There are few mentions of Khaos in addition to her role in the birth of the world. In his account of Zeus' fiery fight with the titans, Hesiod describes how an astonishing heat took over Khaos and how it seemed as though Gaia and Ouranos had rushed towards each others and met. This gives an impression of Khaos moving away from her usual place between earth and heaven. Later on Hesiod tells that titans who lost the battle are now residing behind the gloomy Khaos, far away from all the gods.

In his Birds, Aristophanes offers a glimpse of Khaos as something other than “the first one of all, who merely exists”. He gives and account of the beginning of times, when the only ones existing were Khaos, Nyx, the dark Erebos and the deep Tartaros. There was no earth, air or sky yet existing. The dark-winged Nyx laid and egg in the bosom of Erebos' endless depths and after times had passed, gold-winged Eros hatched from this egg. Eros made love with Khaos in Tartaros and Khaos has wings as golden as those of Eros. This union gave birth to the birds – the first ones to see the light. Birds tells about birds and at this point, relates the story from birds' point of view, so describing the gods as having bird-like wings makes sense. However, many Greek deities, especially those who descended from Khaos, were often depicted having wings, so Aristophanes' story can give you a clue of what Khaos might look like.

Khaos is also present in the story of Alkmene, the woman who got seduced by Zeus who took the form of her husband and who then bore Zeus' son Heracles. Zeus had just won the battle with the titans: the highest among the gods were now the Olympians and on the top-most spot was Zeus himself. However, he was well aware that those closest to Gaia's (the source calls them “relatives”) Okeanos (sea), Nyx and Khaos still existed, hiding and lurking at the far corners of the universe and that some day, the gods would be defeated like the titans were.

Later sources often describe Khaos as nothing but a chaotic mixture of the elements – lifeless and formless, nothing-yet. Khaos is described as merely a state before the world and order, not as a goddess or even a deity. Paraphrasing Ovid (from his book Metamorphosis): before there sea, earth or the heavens arrived, there was only the uniformly desolate Khaos, primitive and undeveloped. Khaos didn't achieve anything other than heaviness and just being a tangled mass of all the elements. These later accounts may be the result of the increasing importance of the Olympic gods in the expense of other, earlier gods. “Khaos as an impersonal nothingness, the beginning of it all but lifeless” is the description you are quite likely to run into in books dealing with Greek mythology (if there actually is any mention of her), as well as in general books on mythology.

What about Khaos today? Can Khaos be worshipped, honoured? Is it possible to include Khaos in one's own personal religiosity? I don't see any reason why not. Khaos may be “a goddess without myths”, but this doesn't make her “a non-existing goddess”. Neither does lack of historical cults worshipping her. Personal gnosis – one's own personal revelation and information derived from interacting with a deity – may get more importance in addition to historical information with Khaos and other deities like her, especially when compared to those gods where there is a large amount of information available in this day and age.

Khaos may seem primordial and maybe even distant, but even the ancient Greek didn't declare her dead. Why should we?

1) Moros – doom; Keres – death-spirits, personifications of violent death; Thanatos – death, personification of non-violent death; Hypnos – Thanatos' twin brother sleep; the Oneiroi – dreams, the most skillful and important out of thousand Oneiroi were Morpheus, Ikelos / Phobetor and Phantasos; Momos – mockery, blame, criticism (he was expelled from heaven for mocking the gods...); Oizys – pain, woe; the Hesperides – the three daughters if evening; the Moirai – the fates; Nemesis – anger and retribution; Apate – deceit; Philotes – affection, friendship; Geras – old age; Eris – discord. Eris, who is nowadays best known for being the “Goddess of Chaos” of especially Discordianists, is the grand-daughter of Khaos.

Sources:

• Aristofanes: Birds
• Hesiodus: Theogony
• Hyginus: Mythographi fabularum liber

• Ovidus: Metamorphoses

• Bellingham, David: En Introduktion till Grekisk Mytologi

• Leeming: Encyclopedia of Creation Myths

• McLeigh, Kenneth: Myths and Legends of the World, the Complete Companion to all Traditions

• online: Theoi project http://www.theoi.com/

#paganism #deities

Streamed again this morning after a 2-week vacation. I thought it went well; I divided the stream into one more talking & one more quiet. During the quiet I listened to music as I cleaned & stuff, only occasionally talking to the camera. I thought I understood the twitch rules about copyright. Based on past experience it seemed they allowed it live & silenced it for replays. But no. I think they did something unexpected to my videos this morning that included music. They seem to have been deleted. I'll check tomorrow morning.

Usually as soon as I wake up I stream on https://www.twitch.tv/humanissome

Liber III vel Jugorum as a tool for self-control

When using magick, being able to control one's primary tool, oneself with all the different sides and features one has, is very important. By being able to harness one's whole essence including the mind, body and language to the working at hand gives the magick worker a more powerful set of tools than what a mage with less self-control and weaker self-awareness has.

One method of training yourself to be a more effective for magick is to use Aleister Crowley's Liber III vel Jugorum[1] as your tool. At the same time, you are also able to get yourself more into your own control – thinking what you are saying and doing, as well as controlling your thought patterns.

Jugorum, “book of the yoke” divides the fields to be trained into three beasts: the unicorn, the horse and the ox. All these should be yoked “in a triple yoke that is governed by One Whip” instead of having them running wildly. Jugorum can be used not only as a stand-alone practice, but also as a part of preparing for a larger workings; especially before starting more persevering and continuous operations requiring not only self-control but also self-awareness – for example larger invocation/evocation projects or starting to learn a new system/technique.

As a stand-alone practice Jugorum works well as a periodical “re-gaining self-control” and a working intended to be compared to previous results of practicing the Liber III. It can also be used as a changing point between one phase of life and another – to create an intermediate period of “no phase”, devoted to self-contemplation, in preparation for the next phase. Furthermore, this versatile exercise can be used to pulling oneself back together when practicing has turned sloppy and to stop a working that has started to pall on you or is going badly, in order to study possible reasons for things not going the way they are expected to go.

References towards being wild and unruly can be interpreted as pointing out how “automated” people usually are in their day-to-day life. Their speech is littered with unnecessary refrains like “you know” or simpler “umm”, as well as with fixed expressions and points of view. Certain stimuli trigger always the same kind of response, without thinking. Even manners repeat the same habits – you sit down and lift one knee over the other, fidget your pen or your hair… All in all, there are many kind of mannerisms you don't usually pay any attention to. Thoughts are ruled by old and tried trains of thought and strong but often unquestioned ideas of who “I am” and how “I” usually do things.

Jugorum's exercises make you pay attention to your own actions, remove what you've deemed unnecessary, map yourself and train yourself to be your own master. Each of the exercises last a week minimum and in addition to the exercises given in Liber III, Crowley advices you to make up your own exercises.

Jugorum isn't a quick route to magickal innovations or stronger capabilities and the results gained vary according to the goals set by each practitioner. However, the exercises do help along the way. There's no use in starting an exercise and then stopping in the middle of it, even though you might feel like you weren't gaining anything from it. Even though the changes would be small and even unnoticeable, in the long run (the only one that really matters) they can be remarkable.

Unicorn, Speech

Rule thy Speech! With the speech (and other communication) exercise, you start by picking a target which is then removed from use of language. In the first form of this exercise, you'll avoid a word you commonly use, for example “and”, “but” or “the”. In the second, you'll avoid using a certain language. In the third one, what's being removed is “self” – the every pronoun and adjective referring to first person. With each of these, you will not simply miss the word to avoid, you'll work your way around it.

The level of difficulty can be fine tuned from very easy to such difficulty where you need to shift the gear of your brain completely. Very easy – too easy to be of any practical use and also too easy to be in accordance to the spirit of Jugorum – would be, say, to choose to remove î or “oui” and then communicate solely in English. On the other end of the scale would be removing a whole set of concepts or means of expression from your speech. In any case, you should reconstruct the thought patterns affecting speech and to really pay attention to what you are about to say or write, before the words get out of your mind. The target should be a word, letter or concept (like “I”) you are using constantly, maybe even too often. For this exercise to be of use for you, do communicate with people as much as you usually. Spending a week alone and in silence gets you off easy, but you won't gain anything from it.

While following the speech part of Jugorum, you'll notice how much you are actually using a certain expression in your daily life without actually thinking about it. At the same time, you'll likely start noticing other people's methods of communication better then before, how much others are (over) using the expression you are avoiding – which is naturally where your attention will most likely be concentrating on in others – and how much of their communication is “automated”. Insights upon yourself and finding new points of view are rather common “by-products” from doing Jugorum. The over all results will vary according to the exercise and the practitioner.

My own standards set for myself when doing a communication exercise, be it Jugorum or Jugorum-based, is that people who are not aware of the exercise going on, would not notice anything being different from normal. Going around the target should happen skillfully enough to not draw any attention towards itself. The slightly longer pauses in speech can be noticed, but it shouldn't be too obvious as to get people asking questions.

Generally speaking, you'll just return to your normal language usage after the exercise. Exceptions from this rule are the occasions, when the target has been those manners of speech or expressions you intended to rid your speech from, completely or partly.

This kind of communication exercise is a useful tool for training, as language affects the mind, mind affects the reality, reality affects the language and vice versa.

Horse, Actions

Rule thine Action! The examples given in Liber III point your attention to ordinary everyday gestures and motions – the kind of which you don't usually pay any attention to. The first example advices avoiding lifting your left arm above your waist, the second mentions avoiding crossing your legs.

As the gestures are so common, controlling them can be surprisingly difficult. Our bodies “live their own lives” and small everyday motions come naturally. When you're thinking, your fingers may fidget with your pen. When you sit down, you'll adjust yourself to your favourite position. When you're feeling puzzled, you may start running your fingers through your hair. When your spouse walks by, you may give him a little pat on his bum, etc. Being aware of your own gestures brings along an extra loop of thinking to your daily life, even when there is only one gesture you are focusing on avoiding. When you're focusing on gestures that are usually controlled not by thought, but “come from your spine”, you are also training your mind to be more focused and alert.

You can use the horse-training part of Jugorum to train yourself out of addictions and other so called bad habits, but the results may be considerably weaker than using the same exercise for culling out automatic gestures for a week or more. If you're a caffeine addict, a cup of coffee may well feel worth the punishment you get from slipping. When it comes to bad habits, you are usually aware of them even before the exercise, so focusing your mind to concentrate on something you don't usually think about doesn't happen.

This exercise of gestures or motions helps to heighten awareness of your own body and to train it to act more according to your will. Extending your consciousness to the smallest gestures of your body fine tunes not only your mind, but also your body to be better in using magick. Many rituals include certain gestures and signs, which aren't there only to bring flamboyance to the ritual and to help the Mage to move from one point to another. By fine tuning your mind to be more aware of your body, you can gain more understanding of these gestures and make them more meaningful for you. You aren't just doing the gestures or signs, you are starting to be more aware of them and to experience their meanings on a practical level, instead of just reading the meaning of a gesture from a book and thinking in some level of your consciousness the meaning if it while doing it. Furthermore, gestures and signs used in rituals may appear in your dreams while doing this exercise, giving you more information about themselves, possibly providing you with better insight than before.

Ox, Thoughts

Rule thy Thought! Jugorum includes two differing exercises for training the mind. The first one is similar to those controlling speech and action: you are avoiding thinking about a certain subject and everything connected with it. You're advised to pick a target you are usually thinking about rather often, something that sensory input or other people's conversations stir in your mind frequently.

The other example given differs from the earlier ones. This one advices you to create two clearly different personalities (A and B) for yourself. What personality is “on”, is defined with some type of tool, for example by switching a ring from one finger to another. The created personalities should be distinct, with the main features being connected to the basic needs of life. When the ring is on the Person A's finger, you shouldn't let any Person B's thoughts to enter your mind and vice versa.

In Crowley's example peson A is passionate, skilled in Qabalah, a vegetarian and “reactionary” politician. Person B, in turn, is an ascetic thinker, occupied with work and family, eats meat and progressive politician. You can choose the opposites better suiting yourself by looking at everyday issues important to you and then dividing your opinions in two camps.

In effect, you can choose between a paradox and a paradigm. The paradox is created by completely avoiding thinking about something, but still being aware of it. The paradigm is connected to controlling the paradigms of two different personalities, without unbalancing your own mind.

The mind is the most important tool of the Mage, so training it shouldn't be considered of minor importance. Looking closer at the example exercises given by Crowley, you can spot benefits of doing the ox-part of Jugorum to your magick usage. Shutting a certain subject out of your mind trains yourself to be able to shut out of the reality of your mind thoughts, thought patterns and frames of mind that could be negative from the point of view of your different magickal workings. Having trained with working with two different “I”s, you may be better able to “put on your Mage's personality” when you switch from everyday reality to the reality of magick use, helping with the change of the state of consciousness for those who do not differentiate between everyday life and magick, too.

With the paradigm exercise you can also allow your more sceptical sides to exist without disturbing the usage and results of magick. You do not need to cull your scepticism – that doesn't pay, it is a useful too – when you can allow it to manifest, separately from the strong belief in magick while practicing.

Tools of Control

Earlier on, I mentioned the punishment you get from slipping. The main tool of control in Jugorum is very primitive – physical punishment you are giving yourself. In addition to this, you should keep a diary on your exercise.

The advice given by Crowley is grim: “On each occasion you slip to say/do/think that what you have sworn to avoid, cut yourself sharply on the wrist or arm with a razorblade.” Advancement is monitored in two way: “Your arm then serves you both as a warning and as a record. You should write down your daily practices, until you are perfectly vigilant at all times.” (quotes paraphrased) Perfectly vigilant. That is, no avoidable words should come from your lips or your pen, no forbidden gestures from your body, nor uprooted thoughts should enter your mind.

Razorblade as a punishment is very demanding and most people who do Jugorum exercises aren't using it. The most common form of punishment seems to be a rubber band around the wrist. When you slip, you snap the rubber band, hard. I have used that method and while doing my first exercise, I sometimes considered switching to the razor blade method as a less painful option…

Other methods I've heard or read about include a pocket-size gizmo which gives electric shocks (which truly isn't advisable!), slapping yourself on the cheek and one apparently very effective method (probably due to the embarrassment factor included) of dropping down to do push-ups no matter where you happen to be. Some consider the embarrassment you get from knowing you've slipped to be punishment enough.

If you choose to use rubber band or other methods of punishments that do not leave marks on your skin, the “book keeping effect” (counting the number of mistakes from your own skin and comparing different times of doing Jugorum with each others) is lost. The rubber band will leave red marks, but they are hard or even impossible to count. However, you can take to carrying a pen and drawing a line on your arm after each punishment. You can then mark down the lines into your diary daily and keep an eye on your development this way.

1) Liber III vel Jugorum is a class D publication, official rituals and instructions, in the classification of Thelemic literature.

#Magick #Thelema #Rituals

Week #45 of the famous photo challenge came up with Minimalism. At the beginning of the week, I was quite sure, that this would be not a big deal for me, as I really love minimalism. Something will cross my way... Easy...

Well to be honest, it turned out that the days have passed as quickly as the sand trickles through our hands. And so I found myself late Sunday evening after dinner, sitting at the table. In front of me a flashlight and a small kitchen aid that I bought in the big Swedish shop the other day.

When I found this little treasure (aka garlic press), I took it in my hands and turned it back and forth. I was immediately fascinated by the wonderful clear design and its beautiful mechanics. A decision was quickly made to take it with me, and in the very same moment it was clear to me that I must take a photograph of this beautiful piece of product design and engineering art 😎

Back at the table. Feeling a kind of pressure in the meantime, I started playing around with the flashlight. I placed the press here and there, tried different angles of the flashlight – backlight, illuminating from the front, the side. Finally I turned off all surrounding lights and used the flashlight to illuminate the sieve backlit and placed in its cylindrical holder. When I saw the first shots I felt that I was on track... Well on the track of abstract, but not on the track of minimalism 🤪

Anyway I had quite some fun with this first set and tried out different ideas. But after a short view at the clock I got a little nervous, I must admit. Struggling shortly I turned on the surrounding light again and tried out completely different views at a shorter focal length. My goal was to have this really, really cool mechanics to shine up as the center of the take.

And so I ended up with this shot that I tooted Sunday night – after the deadline to be strict – but who cares 😉

The current #KWPrompts is #MarineMammals. (Find more info about the KWPrompts art challenge here.) I want to share some tricks & tips I've picked up after a week of drawing & painting these lovely animals.

Gray whales have no dorsal fin

1. Use a lot of reference photos! Marine animals are so different from terrestrial ones. This sounds obvious- a whale is different from a horse, of course! – but compare a polar bear to a black bear or a grizzly. The polar bear is more streamlined, since it is adapted to spending so much of its life in the water. If you try to draw a polar bear with a grizzly shape, it will look wrong.
2. Watch a lot of nature documentaries! Animals in the water are always moving. Even when they sleep in the water, they drift about

Narwhals change color as they age, from greyish to blackish to white.

This is as far as I had gotten a week ago. I've been a bit distracted since. On a lighter note-

Here are some of my favorite facts about marine mammals

1. Gray whales hold the migration record at nearly 14,000 miles, round trip. Other whales, like the narwhal, do not migrate at all.
2. Narwhals & beluga whales can breed. The hybrids are called “narlugas.”
3. Blue whales are so big, their tongues weigh as much as an elephant!
4. Dolphins have individual whistles that their friends & family recognize.

Porpoises always look like half-made dolphins.

The art challenge lasts 1 more week from the day this post was made. You can submit a new picture every day, work on one picture for whole time, or post pics randomly. This is the most laid-back art challenge on the internet, & that means you have plenty of time to make your art however you want.

Use #KWPrompts #MarineMammals & tag @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky Cara

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- beginner to expert, renaissance painting to rough sketch! No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!

Visualization: the ability or skill to see something that doesn't 'really' exist in front of your eyes, either keeping your eyes closed or open. Also, forming and using a clear mental image, used in magick. Simple! Everybody can do it, if they only practice hard enough! But what if you simply aren't visually oriented and your visual imagery works better when “images” are actually heard, felt, smelt or tasted, or when they are metaphors? What if you can't see anything when you close your eyes, but your other senses or one of your other senses work quite well?

When you look at basic articles dealing with visualization, almost every single one of them will concentrate on visualization as something sight-based, as if there were no other options or if the other options were quite unimportant or effective in magick or meditation. The importance given to sight can be seen in the terminology used: visualization is the general term used to cover also the practice of forming mental images with other senses than sight.

When it comes to dominant senses, people who are visually oriented form the largest group, but there are still plenty of people who don't think or dream in pictures. According to some statistics, audio-oriented people are the second largest group, while people who have touch or movement as their strongest sense, or who have scent/taste as the strongest sense when it comes to dreams, memories, and mental “images” are left to form smaller minorities.

When your strongest sense is something other than sight, all the talk of visualization as something connected only to seeing can cause feelings of being inadequate and even worrying if one can even use magick. This is quite understandable, as visualization is explained as something that is very important for being able to use magick, even a precondition for it. When given practices center on developing sight, trying and failing can make you doubt your own skills and make you feel like there's nowhere to go. If the instructions of your traditions tell you that you should be able to see the circle cast with your mind's eye and you can't do it, it isn't that strange you'd start doubting if you can do a ritual. What about spells? If you are supposed to see the result in order to succeed – are you doomed to failure if you simply don't function visually?

Visual “visualization” isn't the only possibility there is, so you shouldn't be too worried if you can't do it. Working magick, rituals, spells, meditations and what have you are perfectly possible for 'sightless' people as well! It can require somewhat more work, as texts and instructions are written for those who function in sight, but it is possible. By modifying exercises and instructions you can make them work for other senses as well. That modifying requires a bit of (creative) application, but you can do it. By working on your strongest sense, you may with time be able to make your other senses stronger. Even if you are visually oriented, doing exercises on other senses can help you in creating a more complete visualization experience.

Some Exercises

Here are some short, simple exercises to get you started:

As usual, it's good to have the place where you are doing the exercises somewhat dim and peaceful. Having people buzzing about and having other disturbances around don't exactly help with concentration. Part of the preparation is to sit comfortably, as you will be staying in one position for a length of time and relaxing yourself to a light trance state.

As a side note: it pays not to train yourself to be able to meditate or get into a trance only when it's perfectly peaceful. Total quiet or nearly so isn't always possible in situations where you need to work magick, nor is requiring such sensible. When you get basics in order, start doing your exercises where there are external disturbances.

Sight

A basic exercise one is often given is a candle-based one. Here's one version: Light a candle and have it stand at your eye-level about two feet away. Look at the flame, inspect and study it, its movements and colors, how the flame stands out against the dark background. Concentrate all your attention to the flame until it's practically all you can see. Then close your eyes, still facing the candle, and start building up the image of the flame using your mind's eye. In the beginning you may see only a faint glimpse of the flame, but don't panic – exercises take time. If your concentration breaks and the image disappears, try building it again without opening your eyes. When you can keep the image in your mind for a long period of time, try adding the movement of the flame, then expanding your exercise later on so that you can see the whole candle. You can also start modifying the image in your mind by making the candle larger, changing the color of the candle or the flame – whatever you can think up. Clarity is more important in this exercise than the time you can keep it up. With time you won't need stimulus to start with, that is, the candle to watch.

Note that some people can visualize in two dimensions, but not in three. If you're one of the two-dimensional people, work with that ability – don't feel lacking because you aren't a “three-dimensional visualizer”.

Hearing

If you're one of those people who has an internal jukebox playing songs and sounds out on its own initiative, or who remembers discussions down to the tones of voices, you can learn to “visualize” sound. Starting to exercise with “auralization” (“visualization by the ear”) doesn't really need stimuli. However, it pays to rehearse your aural memory to work under your will, also to meditate on soundscapes. You can add concentrating on a certain sound and examining it while meditating; rehearsing single sounds, tunes, rhythms, repeated words (starting with, for example, type of mantras with no personal importance), sounds of nature, etc. If you have trouble clearing your mind of thoughts while meditating, you can try using soothing nature sounds like rainfall to “fill up your mind”.

One useful exercise is to transform a persistent “ear worm” (a piece of music, often a quite unwanted one, playing as a loop in your head) to something else, like a mantric sigil. For those who are less hearing oriented, the starting point can be meditating on repeated words, mantras or simple sounds, with a stimulus to reconstruct in your mind's ear or without one.

Touch

When it comes to exercising this sense, you can approach the subject through feeling touch, temperatures, air streams or presence. However, it's good to practice all of these. It is quite difficult to give any direct exercises, as the way each individual feels is rather personal. Therefore finding the way that fits you best is left to your own activities and aptitudes. It helps if you know a relaxation routine when you concentrate your thoughts on one part of your body at the time until it starts to feel warmer and it feels like a stream of air / gentle touch would be around that body part – that exercise can be modified to be used here.

Scent and Taste

The basic principle with “scent visualization” is the same as with sight visualization. Light incense and breathe in its scent. Let the scent fill your whole consciousness, excluding everything else. Concentrate on the scent, examine it in your mind from all angles, studying its effects on you – what it brings to your mind, how it feels. Let the incense burn all up, keeping the scent alive in your mind as long as you can. Later on, after the scent has all but disappeared from the air around you, concentrate and strive to bring the scent back to your mind using the associations you created. There's no need to worry if you can't do that straight away – you can always practice more. In fact, you should always practice more. Let the incense burn for a shorter period each time you do this exercise, trying to keep the scent 'visualized' a little longer than before, until you are able to 'visualize' it at will without the help of the actual incense.

For taste, you can work using the same principles as with scents. Other possibilities?

In the introduction to this article, I mentioned metaphors. You can use and develop 'word/verbal visualization' not only as a technique of its own right, but also in aiding and strengthening other imagery. You can use the previously described visual-visualization as the basics. Work otherwise like you did in the earlier exercise, but after closing your eyes describe – with words – the candle flame and then the whole candle as vividly as you can. Keep in your mind complete certainty of the candle's existence. Why wouldn't you be certain it is really there? After all, it does exist, even though you can't see it at the moment. If you would extend your fingers towards the flame, the flame would still burn your fingers – even though it is “visible” only as a description in your head. Take that certainty and be that certain when you are, for example, describing to yourself deities called in rituals. Yes, right, but what about all the rituals and stuff like that?

Exercising different senses as such doesn't solve the original problem, that is – how to manage with a weak or totally nonexistent visual-visualizing ability while meditating and working magick, and how to enrich one's sphere of visualization.

You could say that the basic idea is that of “mixing sensations”. That is, observing stimuli often associated only with one sense, with other senses as well. At the same time, taking into consideration all senses if possible, finding out your own strong and weaker senses for example by using the different exercises. Even “in real life”, what you experience of the world surrounding you is formed by all of the senses you have working together, not through one singular sense. So, why would things be one-sense-dimensional in the world of magick?

You can start bringing down the walls separating each of the senses by, say, asking yourself what does the taste of a given feeling sound like, what a taste feels like, what does the sound of a scent look like, what does the sight of a tune scent like, etc. To put it in other words, by questioning the limits of possibilities and bending your mind to accept the idea that the possibilities of different senses are not set in stone – especially when the senses in questions are inside your own mind.

Instead of concentrating on what any given object (or 'object') looks like, you can concentrate on how they sound, feel, smell, taste. You can add sensations even to quite abstract subjects, choosing the associations according to your own experiences or the 'tables of correspondences' used by your religion or tradition, searching for connections crossing the boundaries of senses. One tool to use can be, for example, Aleister Crowley's Liber 777.

Discovering and writing down your own associations and correspondences is also quite a good exercise. You can expand your overall magick usage through building a network of correspondences speaking to you on a very personal level.

I'd say that one big reason for exercises, instructions for rituals, and so forth concentrate so much on sight is that it's the easiest way to explain. Unfortunately, at the same time many other possible approaches get overlooked. What also can get overlooked is that no matter what approach your visualization takes, the certainty in what you are doing and experiencing is more important than whether you are able to reproduce something in your mind. This “mere reproducing” happens all the time in your normal, everyday thought processes and few would call thinking visualizing. It may not even be possible to 'cut down' a visualizing or magick working experience and even when sight is playing the major role, it is (most often) only part of the experience.

With rituals, you can instead of (or in addition to) seeing symbols and other visualized parts, hear sounds associated with them, draw them as a trail of scent or feel their presence. While meditating, you can sense colors as scents, sounds or feelings. With spells, you can 'visualize' the result of the spell by hearing clearly, say, the company you applied to calling you and telling you that you got the job.

Bathe in imagery, whether the images were pictures or something else.

Some things you could ponder...

• What does blue smell like?
• What is the sound of a pentagram?
• What does a magickal circle feel like?
• What does a deity you are invoking (or evoking) taste like?
• How would you sense the energies of magick with all your available senses?

#Magick #Rituals #Meditation

It's November again. The sun makes itself scarce through the day and leaves the stage to the fog which often rules the day and even the night. The other day, I followed the impulse, grabbed my gear, plugged in my earbuds and went for a late walk through the foggy night.

I had no clear destination and somehow just followed my inner compass. I had no lights on and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. The gothic music I heard from my earbuds was a perfect support for this dark, foggy and somehow unreal night. When I walked down the small street, I reached a tree with a street lamp behind it. I was immediately caught by the light rays and sectors of light that built up perfectly through the fog, turning the leaves of the tree into perfect silhouettes.

So I set my tripod and did some shots of this quiet, dense scene – playing with aperture and time, while listening to the music.

I folded up my tripod, put it on my shoulder and continued my walk, still without any light other than that of a few street lamps and their dull reflections in the fog. I tried paths I knew from the day, but it turned out that they were too dark and didn't make for an interesting night shot.

Well, I turned around again and took the direct route across the meadows when I saw some street lights that made a nice picture from a distance. As I approached them to get the right angle for my prime lens, it wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be.

As I walked on I found myself in the middle of a rather mystical scene just a few minutes later. A backlit group of trees next to a shed caught my attention as they showed such wonderfully soft but distinct silhouettes. It's simply awesome how fascinating taking photographs can be on a foggy night.

I've posted both pictures as a goodnight wish to the Fedinauts out there in the wide Fediverse.

observing observing the senses thoughts emotions

see within without: intent question blame shame judgment guilt

observing observing the mind no thing to: conclude gain obtain claim remain choose loose divide hide

see within without: preparing searching learning yearning

observing observing observing observing awareness isness suchness consciousness pure essence

The Ritual

Let the Adept be armed with his Magick Rood (and provided with his mystic rose).

In the centre, let him give the L.V.X. signs; or if he know them, if he will and dare do them, and can keep silent about them, the signs of N.O.X. being the signs of Puer, Vir, Puella, Mulier. Omit the sign. I.R.

Then let him advance to the East and make the Holy Hexagram, saying: “Pater et Mater unus deus Ararita.”

Let him go round to the South, make the Holy Hexagram and say: “Mater et Filius unus deus Ararita.”

Let him go round to the North, make the Holy Hexagram and then say: “Filia et Pater unus deus Ararita.”

Let him then return to the Centre, and so to The Centre of All (making the Rosy Cross as he may know how) saying: “Ararita Ararita Ararita”

(In this the Signs shall be those of Set Triumphant and of Baphomet. Also shall Set appear in the Circle. Let him drink of the Sacrament and let him communicate the same.) Then let him say: Omnia in Duos: Duo in Unum: Unus in Nihil: Haec nec Quatuor nec Omnia nec Duo nec Unus nec Nihil Sunt. Gloria Patri et Matri et Filio et Filiae et Spiritui Sancto externo et Spiritui Sancto interno ut erat est erit in saecula Saeculorum sex in uno per nomen Septem in uno Ararita.

Let him then repeat the signs of L.V.X. but not the signs of N.O.X.: for it is not he that shall arise in the Sign of Isis Rejoicing.

What?

This ritual is “related to” Lesser Hexagram Ritual (LHR), similarly to The Star Ruby being “related to” Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram (LBRP). Before you start learning this ritual, it would be for the better if you were familiar with the three other rituals beforehand.

Let the Adept be armed with his Magick Rood

Rood is the mage's staff, lance. From a traditional point of view, “rood” isn't just another staff, but a longish staff with a shortish crossbar. Rood is also a phallic symbol, or when it comes to a male Mage, his penis, lingam. Rood is the active participant, the tool with which the mage is “armed” with.

(and provided with his mystic rose).

Of Mage's tools, the Mystic rose is the cup, the chalice. It is a feminine symbol, the yoni. Literally speaking, it is the vagina of the female Mage. In this ritual the mystic Rose is passive factor and a tool with which the mage is “provided with”.

The Rosy Cross demands both tools (or “tools”) to be present.

In the centre, let him give the L.V.X. signs

The sings of L.V.X. are the signs mentioned in LHR, points III-VI.

or if he know them, if he will and dare do them, and can keep silent about them, the signs of N.O.X.

This refers to choosing the sings according to the Mage's skills and knowledge. Keeping silent tells the mage to be silent and not say out loud the names of the signs, if he chooses to do the signs of N.O.X. With the signs of L.V.X., the names are spoken.

Skills and knowledge are advised to be taken into account, as different signs refer to different manners in which to connect the ritual with the Kabalistic tree of life. The signs of L.V.X. are connected with the Tiphareth and the signs of N.O.X. from Geburah to Binah.

being the signs of Puer, Vir, Puella, Mulier. Omit the sign. I.R.

The signs of N.O.X:

(N) Puer (Boy): Stand with feet together, head erect, right arm in a square (upper arm straight out from the shoulder, forearm straight up) and right thumb between its index and medius (called in Italy “mano in fico”), left fist at groin with thumb extended and pointing forward (attitude of the Gods Khem, Mentu, et al).

(O) Vir (Man): Stand with feet together, fists with thumbs thrust out forward held to the temples, the head bowed and pushed out, as if to symbolize the butting of an horned beast (attitude of Pan, Bacchus, etc.).

Puella (Girl): Stand with feet together, head bowed, left hand shielding the groin, right hand shielding the breast (attitude of the Venus de Medici).

(X) Mulier (Woman): Stand with feet wide apart, head thrown back, arms raised so as to suggest a crescent (attitude of Baphmet, Isis in Welcome, the microcosm of Vitruvius).

The fifth sign, Isis Rejoicing (I.R.) is not given.

Then let him advance to the East and make the Holy Hexagram

Interpretation on what actually is the Holy Hexagram used in the Star Sapphire varies. Often used variation is based on Alester Crowley's Book of Lies, chapter 69 “The way to succeed – and the way to suck eggs!” and the comments of that chapter. The chapter begins with “This is the Holy Hexagram” and describes, how “The Red Triangle is the descending tongue of grance, the Blue Triangle is the ascending tongue of prayer. This Interchange, the Double Gift of Tongues, the Word of Double Power -ABRAHADABRA!– is the sign of the GREAT WORK, for the GREAT WORK is accomplished in silence.”

The commentary to this chapter explains, how the number refers to Levi's (Eliphas) drawing of a hexagram and the criticism of, or improvement upon, it. “In the ordinary Hexagram, the Hexagram of nature, the red triangle is upwards, like fire, and the blue triangle downwards, like water. In the magical hexagram this is reversed: the descending red triangle is that of Horus, [..] It is the flame descending upon the altar, and licking up the burnt offering.) The blue triangle represents the aspiration, since blue is the colour of devotion, and the triangle, kinetically considered, is the symbol of directed force.” The explanation continues: “In paragraph 5 the symbolism of tongues is further developed. Abrahadabra is our primal example of an interlocked word.”

In the context of the Star Sapphire, the hexagrams used in LRH (Lesser Ritual of the Hexagram) are often recommended. However, of those hexagrams, only one (the hexagram of earth) fits the description of two interlocking triangles pointing in two different directions. Levi's hexagram is indeed the hexagram of earth.

(east) saying: “Pater et Mater unus deus Ararita.”

“Father and Mother (are) one god ARARITA”

(south) say: “Mater et Filius unus deus Ararita.”

“Mother and Son (are) one god ARARITA”

(west) say: “Filia et Pater unus deus Ararita.”

“Son and Daughter (are) one god ARARITA”

(north) “Filia et Pater unus deus Ararita.”

“Daughter and Father (are) one god ARARITA”

In the speeches of the four quarters, the Father, the Mother, the Son and the Daughter are interpreted to point to the formula of the tetragrammaton (Yod, Hé, Vau, Hé).

In the east, the hexagram is formed by Yod and Hé. Yod is the primal force of creation, the father who created himself. When he is combined with Hé, there will be formed the union of Father (Abba, Chokmah) and his equal Mother (Aima, bright fertile Mother, Binah). The Mother is the reflection of Nuit, as the Father is the reflection of Hadit. This is the first stage of creative process. Yod represents the fast and violent force of creation, which is followed by calmer but even stronger flux of will.

In the south, the hexagram is formed by Hé and Vau. The union of the earlier hexagram creates a Son, Vau – heir, redeemer, sun. The Son is the reflection of Ra-Hoor-Khuit, the descendant of Nuit and Hadit, who takes his father's place. The creative force gains a form. In the tree of life, this covers the sephirots from Chesed to Yesod (Chesed, Geburah, Tiphereth, Netzach, Hod, Yesod).

In the west, the hexagram is formed by Vau and Hé (Hé final). Hé is both the twin sister and daughter of Vau. The duty of the Son is to redeem the Daughter by making her his bride. In this, the Daughter takes the Mother's place at the throne. The form is manifested and tensions released. The Daughter can also be seen as the Joy of Endlessness. With the arrival of Daughter, we have reached the final, tenth sephiroth – Malkuth.

In the end, there is the hexagram of the north, Hé and Yod, which returns the tetragrammaton to its beginning. Having taken the throne of the Mother, the Daughter Nukba de-Zauir (Malkath – “queen” and Kalah – “bride”), enlivens her father and returns both the tetragrammaton and the tree of life to their beginnings. This creates a cycle instead of linearity.

Ararita is and acronym of a Hebrew phrase – “One is His Beginning: One is His Individuality: His Permutation is One.” In the hexagram rituals it reinforces, that deity is, in the end, uniform in nature.

Let him then return to the Centre, and so to The Centre of All (making the Rosy Cross as he may know how)

In Magick in Theory and Practice Crowley talks about “Formula of the Rosy Cross” in a chapter dealing with blood sacrifices and similar. In this chapter Crowley refers to highly guarded secrets of the initiates, hints at the power of the ritual and discusses animal sacrifice. However, at the end you can find a note: “You are also likely to get into trouble over this chapter unless you truly comprehend its meaning.” In the reference, there is a reminder how Adepts are quite likely talking about something completely different, when they appear very straight forward…

By looking at the beginning of the ritual, you may get a hint on what Rosy Cross refers to in this context. Rose: feminine symbol, the vagina. Cross: rood, staff, masculine symbol, penis. That is, you can interpret the Rosy Cross as being sex magick.

You can also interpret the instructions in the ritual as referring to drawing a symbol. This symbol can be the Rosy Cross use by Golden Dawn – a cross inside a circle (like a 'sunwheel'), or the unicursal hexagram with the five-pedal rose in the middle.

saying: “Ararita Ararita Ararita”

Three “Araritas” make the final number of them seven.

(In this the Signs shall be those of Set Triumphant and of Baphomet. Also shall Set appear in the Circle. Let him drink of the Sacrament and let him communicate the same.)

Set Triumphant: The feet are together, the left arm is curved as if it supported a child; the thumb and index finger of the right hand pinch the nipple of the left breast as if offering it to that child. Baphome: see Mulier above.

You can interpret the appearance of Set in the circle as his appearance through the Mage (and as the mage drinking from the cup as Set), but also as an instruction to interpret the myth of Set and Horus, where Set is said to have claimed having had sex (anally) with Horus. The circle can in this context refer to Horus' eye, which is described in the Egyptian “Book of the Dead” also in the following manner: “My buttocks are the buttocks of the Eye of Horus.” Drinking the sacrament, in turn, can be interpreted as sexual pleasure.

Theodor Reuss of O.T.O. interprets the ritual in the terms of a sex magick rite: when the rood is the penis and the rose the vagine, the phrase “Let him drink of the Sacrament” means consuming the juices resulting from the ritual sex straight from the source. The sign of Baphomet fits this interpretation well, enabling mutual drinking for both sexes.

Then let him say: “Omnia in Duos: Duo in Unum: Unus in Nihil: Haec nec Quatuor nec Omnia nec Duo nec Unus nec Nihil Sunt. “

“All in two: two in one: one in nothing; these are not four nor all nor two nor one nor nothing.” Everything centres on two, the tools of the ritual, rood and rose, combined in the Rosy Cross. As the ritual progresses to Set Triumphant / Baphomet, this one vanishes into nothingness (Abyss). The rest refers to the hexagrams of the quarters and the tetragrammaton.

“Gloria Patri et Matri et Filio et Filiae et Spiritui Sancto externo et Spiritui Sancto interno ut erat est erit in saecula Saeculorum sex in uno per nomen Septem in uno Ararita. “

“Glory be to the Father and to the Mother and to the Son and Daughter, and to the Holy Spirit without and within, which was, is and shall be, world without end. Six in One through the names of the Seven in One, Ararita.” The text celebrates the ritual, the personifications of the tetragrammaton, the blurring of boundaries between inner and outer while the Mage is one with the universe, the hexagram (six in one) and the seven Araritas / in Ararita.

Let him then repeat the signs of L.V.X. but not the signs of N.O.X.: for it is not he that shall arise in the Sign of Isis Rejoicing.

L.V.X., lux, 'light'. N.O.X., nox, 'night'. Even if you had started the ritual with the darkness of the night, it isn't proper to return to it by the end of the working, but to rise into light and continue from that. When it comes to the last sentence, I've seen it explained to mean that Isis Rejoicing is a Magister Templi -grade sign and as such isn't for an Adept to do at the end of this ritual. That is, the signs of N.O.X. aren't told not to be repeated at the end of the ritual because they include Isis Rejoicing – that sign is left out even at the beginning of the ritual, but due to the light/dark aspect.

Sources include:

Aleister Crowley: 777 Aleister Crowley: The Book of Lies Aleister Crowley: Liber XXXVI The Star Sapphire Aleister Crowley: Magick in Theory and Practice The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn: The G.D. Glossary Budge (translator): The Egyptian Book of the Dead Nu Isis Working Group & Frater Ananael Qaa – Star Sapphire -commentary

#Magick #Thelema #Rituals

Every 2 weeks I post a new art challenge prompt! The new #KWPrompts is #MarineMammals Marine Mammals live in saltwater ecosystems but can't breathe underwater. They are a diverse group! There are aquatic animals, such as whales, dolphins, porpoises, manatees & dugongs. There are also semi-aquatic animals, such as sea otters, walruses, seals & sea lions. Polar bears are technically pagophilic but they are also counted as marine mammals because they rely so heavily on oceans to survive.

There are dozens of species of dolphins: 38 kinds of oceanic dolphin & 4 kinds of river dolphin! You may not realize it, because lots of dolphin have misleading names like “pilot whale” or “killer whale.” The average Dolphin can stay underwater for 10 minutes. Pilot Whales live in pods of between a few dozen to a few thousand. People used to believe the entire pod followed one ‘pilot’, hence the name pilot whale.

Humpback Whales are enormous. Their tails can be as much as 18 feet wide! Each tail has a unique shape, size, & pattern of black/white markings. Humpback whales from the Southern hemisphere tend to have more white markings than Northern hemisphere ones.

I don't think I have a favorite marine mammal. Do you? Share it with us! Let's spend the next 2 weeks making terrific art

Each challenge lasts 2 weeks from the day this post was made. You can submit a new picture every day, work on one picture for 2 weeks, or post pics randomly. This is the most laid-back art challenge on the internet, & that means you have plenty of time to make your art however you want.

Use #KWPrompts #MarineMammals & tag me @KarinWanderer

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky Cara

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- beginner to expert, renaissance painting to rough sketch! No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you next week!

Infinity was the thing of the 44th week of the photo challenge. I thought of circles, the number eight, stars above me, the view through an industrial chimney or a large pipe, cemeteries, love, and so on. And it seemed to me like every time something came to my mind a toot was posted covering the association. So the challenge persisted, and I let my mind run wild 😁

And so it was that I spent Saturday afternoon playing with two mirrors and their infinite reflections 😎 I had the idea of creating something atmospheric, candles that form a line into infinity.

My setup was quite simple: I placed the two mirrors opposite each other, covered everything I didn't want to be seen, mounted the camera on the tripod, turned off the light and that was it. I also tried playing with focus stacking, but I wasn't really happy with the results. So next time I might go for a higher ISO and faster shutter speed. But that's what I love about photography – there are always plenty of possibilities and ideas to play with 😊

And voilà, here goes my result that I tooted on Sunday.

Maybe it's Thursday out there too, where things were normal. (From Tales from the Valley: Phantasmagory Shorts)

CW: blood, horror themes, mentions of violence

---

Seven died on a Thursday.

I can just see the calendar from where I'm cowering under the desk, rows of little red x’s that lead to a big smiley-face. That's really what does it, a bright red smile like the blood on the curtains, the walls, the crevices between my fingers.

Thursday, Thursday It was always fucking Thursday.

Maybe it's Thursday out there too, where things were normal. That’s a morbid thought. Thursday at my empty desk in the dingy office park behind the gas station. Thursday in that apartment on the hill, the bathroom door busted off its hinges and a forest of grocery store plants dead on the windowsills. Briefly, I wonder if someone else lives in that apartment these days, or if the rest of the world went ahead and ended too.

Does it even matter? It's not like these are even my memories.

Fine, it's Thursday, whatever that means, and there's a big red smiley face to mark the occasion. Seven probably knew what was coming then, of course she did. I feel a twinge of rage at that, bubbling up through the stupor. The audacity she had to draw that, knowing what was about to happen. The nerve.

And maybe it’s because it’s one of those cheap calendars the admins at my old job used to have, tacky and badly typeset, filled with pictures of kittens in fields posed in an array of tiny hats, a collection of miserable, blank kitten faces staring sadly at the camera, maybe that’s what finally snaps me out of it.

Hang in there, she'd say with a smile that could light up an autopsy room, watching them open me up on the table again. Yes, I'm sure she would think the whole thing was hilarious, if she could think about anything anymore.

God, how I hated her, truly.

My legs are stiff and angry when I pull myself up. I've been under the desk for days now, or hours. Time was blown apart in the chaos of the night before, strewn about the floor in little fragments. Who needs time anyhow? What has time ever done for anyone? I leave without it.

Seven is probably still splayed out on the dining room table. There's absolutely no reason she should be. She wasn't even real, but it's the kind of thing she'd do. And it’s true. I flinch when I turn the corner, eyes dropping to the bloodstain painting the horrid, ugly carpet. The body looks happy, manically so. At least someone is.

Are you satisfied, Mother Seven? Have all your dreams come true?

I'm a proper monster now, and Seven got a vacation in whatever hell things like her go to. No one has cleaned up, or bothered to close her eyes. Who would have? I'm the only one left now. My head is ringing. The only one, the only one.

Apart from him.

Wherever the hell he is. He's been gone for days now, years. My head has never been so blissfully empty without him in there screwing around. It's possible I really am the last one left. Maybe my horrible creator is dead in a ditch somewhere, clutching his horrible little hands to his horrible little head, pretending it’ll all go back to normal in the morning.

And bless our stubborn, malignant little heart, it just might.

Hilarious. I could scream. I could cry, if I had anything other than tar or whatever the hell I'm made of to wet the tears with.

At some point, I wander into the kitchen and make a cup of tea. I don't like tea, but it's better than staring at the blood on the curtains, the windows, the ugly blue cabinets. The body in the dining room... My shirt is cemented to my skin, tugging my armpit hair when I reach for a mug. There’s blood in my armpits and I don't even like tea.

The kettle is whistling harmony with my head. A major third, my brain supplies helplessly. Ding dong, Beethoven’s 5th. I consider throwing it through the kitchen window. That's what a proper monster would do, I think, and I'm a proper monster now. A terrible beast that ruins the carpet and lurks around snarling at calendars. I set the kettle gently back on the stove.

It doesn't matter what I do at this point, not that it ever did. The carpet is already ruined.

I'm making a noise like a giggle. It's not funny, so I must be crying. I don't even like tea and it doesn't matter even if I did because the tea isn't real. The house, the horrors, the blood on the windowsills. The fake wind-up monster clutching his fake mug of fake tea with fake shaking fingers.

God, how I understand the fear in their eyes now. It isn't real, I yelled, watching them claw their arms with that horrible look on their faces. It isn't real, it isn't real. God, how I killed them all with three ugly words and I wasn't even enough of a person to die with them. Black trails of nothing in particular slip down my face.

When I wander back into the dining room, the body is still on the table. Just for me. Just so I know what I probably did. For godsake, she didn't even really exist, why the hell is she still here for?

Looking at her is making my eyes burn, so I go back to staring at the horrid, ugly carpet again. Red splatters on lime green swirls. The smell of blood and earl grey is making me sick, so I tip the mug out and watch my tea bleed into the mess around it.

At some point, I go back to the office to wait for time to pass again, for lack of anything better to do. It doesn't. It sits in pieces on the floor like an angry child, staring at me in silent accusation. The creak in the office chair agrees and I make a note to burn it later, along with the papers flung across the desk and the books lining the shelves behind me. Endless notes on the town, the victims, the fake plastic monsters like me. Rules, lessons, faith, belief. Books, trinkets, junk, mess. That's all we ever were. Paper monsters piled in great heaps against the doors and windows, suffocating ourselves with gleeful malice.

Yes, there will be a lot of things to burn later, I think, idly picking flecks of gore from my nails. The calendar is boring a hole through my head from the wall, but I'm going to burn it later with the rest of the house and maybe then the ringing in my ears will stop.

I wonder how well fiction burns, if the last of it will drift to the sky in a column of smoke or if it's carved itself into the hills, waiting to leak back out when no one's looking.

I steeple my fingers and press them to my face. I'm too tired to go looking for answers today.

—–+ #Horror #ShortStory #Writing #Fiction