Ovro

Poetry

(We) meet, (we) join, (we) reach (pleasure)

Your eyes my reflection Voice, taking me deeper Breath, touching me mindless Lost in your senses

My skin your world Sex, seamlessly joining Voice, bringing you power Found in my senses

My skull open bursting connecting losing

All yourselves Mixed in with mine All myselves Contained in your senses

The bodies perfect match The minds trigger mingle

Higher, deeper Across the Abyss Floating, flying liquid, firm

The Void stares back Jealous and steaming

I'm fire We're fire I'm fire You forget In fire, you forget

I fire I fire you forget you forget Forget...

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Yes, this is about sex. Great sex. Truly great sex. Intimacy felt everywhere under my skin.

Then – it was not there anymore.

Written in 2003, it is based on personal experience and didn’t find a home on any track or album. Too personal at the time, too much baring my soul and yeah... Life.

There more things change the more they stay the same, goes a saying. Don't know about that but I do know about this kind of loss.

Maybe, finally, in this phase of my life it is time to resurrect this and actually make a track out of it and feel good about what was?

Note the Void staring back? That idea sure was around that time.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I cannot feel pity my soul's too old to die

None will ever see this I'm too used to hide

I cannot feel pity my soul's just too old

to the eyes of the world I'm cold I put on a mask do as I'm told

they see me housebroken tamed domesticated ev'ry mother's dream

that isn't me

they see me soft-spoken chaste sophisticated

never truly seen

I'm dreaming of friends at last I'm dreaming of friends that last but I rather just dream than be met with another slap cold and wet

another blow on the bruise but it's all bruise now breaking the bones of my soul

insides are cut open framed fabricated

see me how you will

and... wild-minded dark stony hearted

all I've ever been

I walk heavy headed I do not understand...

not this world maybe next

my reflection turns away

it will not see me it knows what is hidden and sometimes shows through the cracks if you know where to look

#poetry #lyrics #DarkAmbient #ActuallyAutistic

Background info

Some of this will ne familiar to those who have been reading my posts lately – or have listened to Id|entities track Absent. Earlier version was called Mementropy, this version didn’t have a name.

This is from 2008, I think, and has turned more into a study of loneliness. Some lines within did, in fact, end up in a story / song on that very subject.

Looking back at this text, it ks very much written from the point of view of an as yet not realized autistic, trying hard to make sense of how they're being seen and so often so misunderstood in the world.

If there ever was a piece of lyrics trying to tell myself things, I could nominate this bit: “it knows what is hidden / and sometimes shows through the cracks / if you know where to look” as being about masking and how only those who spot the mask and the cracks see the actual me.

And, heck, this: “to the eyes of the world I'm cold / I put on a mask do as I'm told”. It may have taken me time to realise my own masking and that there was never anything wrong with me, just different wiring.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I am the All that comes from Nothing The Nothingness (of All) The height and unheight The light and unlight darkness and undark The nothing of it all The all in naught   I am the lust Khaos given The will to live (in Fall) The lust and the love The life and rebirth The birth and living living and growing the loving everything The all in love   I am the death Khaos given The will to Die (I call) Unevitable The death and decay The dust and dying Decomposing rot The dying everything The naught in death.   (Khaos – Eros – Thanatos / Erothanatos – Erothanate – Erothanathos / Thanatos, Eros, Thanatos, Eros / Thanatera, Thanatero, Thanatheros )   #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

  With this one all that got recorded was me saying ”Khaos, Eros, Thanatos” and those got used elsewhere in the end. I’d hazard a guess this was another draft for the Serpent Rite gig/release, but got scrapped to keep things at optimal lenght and avoiding adding three more characters in the mix.

Thematically and linquistically this is definitely related to Invocation.

This might be useful in proper setting, say a ritual for these three primordial Greek ones. 

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I invoke thee, oh Bornless One Thee, who art the Mother of it all Thou who art the creation and the destruction Thou art unseen and formless Thou art form and sight Thee, who art beyond justice and the wielder of justice Thee, who art time and timeless   Thou art the love in all things and the hate in all things Thou art light and the unlight   Thee, thee I invoke I invoke thee I am thee   #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

   The text is an adaptation of a Thelemic ritual called ”Bornless Ritual” and was the opening track in the Serpent Rite, although with more direct quotes from the ritual included in the final version played.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Face the void see it stare back Face the void see what stares back

Is it your indifference? Your mis-placed pride? Illusion of silence curing all? Hoping avoidance would brake down the fall?

Is it your indifference? Is is pure selfishness?

Your shattering shell...

Equation of feeling and fool

I am your guilty conscience your filthy mind superstitions unbound

I am my filthy conscience my quilty mind fantasies unfulfilled

mediocre mindlfulness bourgoise beauty petty pities

Who's behind my mirror

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Second draft for something appearing later on the extremely rare live album (16 ever made, 15 in circulation) The Serpent Rite. The year is 2004, summer.

First draft (Face or Fall) is still partly here, but I have introduced ideas about a voice being somebody’s guilty/filthy conscience and more bashing of the one talked to, in allitteration even. Those additions didn’t work here, but some got used later on. No use letting useful ideas go to waste, I say!

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I… I… I got caught… no, that doesn’t tell it right… That morning I caught your eye. I was standing at the bus-stop, filled with feeling lost. So misunderstood, so lonely, head full of dreams… I longed to be had and held, to be loved and cherished.   There I stood in the rain, miserable and wet, then… then you came along. ”How handsome!” I thought and when you spoke to me I melted. You smiled and spoke sweet nothings.   I didn’t care what you really said, it was all poetry to me… You said: ”You are less than I planned for, but you will do the same. I’ll let you feel my pain.”   ”Sweet words!” I thought, heart racing, like a perfect prey.   #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

  This was one of the paper draft finds. I had no recollection of working on this particular draft any further than this one time.   I think this is from somewhere around 2007. I had begun the long road towards what became Id|entities and played around with the various & numerous ideas I had for the album. This was the first appearance of the story of a loner, here told from the perspective of the lonely one. With time, things morphed quite a lot and the final story was told by the person a loner, ”Mr. Friend-Seeker” clung to.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

You do trust me, yes? You do want me . . . as a friend?

I wish to be inside ... your chamber your chamber... of toys and books and I I want to play with your... toys and books and mind

Can I climb in your arms and play with your heart?

You do trust me, yes? You do want me... yes? In your chamber of toys and books? Will you play?

Noone has wanted me before...

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background Info

Another track that never got finished.

The story within is told from from the perspective of a child, so eager to form friendships but having oh so hard time trying. In spite of the pure intentions of the child – they really, truly just want to play, read and have deep discussions – the words they choose, they pauses in delivery due to trying to find the right things to say, all this makes other kids view the poor child odd, weird, creepy and downright scary.

Some version of this I couldn't find had a mocking reply voice repeating “Never trust her lying eyes”. After all, aren't eyes lying if one doesn't hold a steady eye contact? Isn't that what we're taught?

Lying eyes found their way to unfinished track called Love. Yeah, I'm fond of recycling and testing new combinations and contexts.

Looking at this now, I can’t help thinking about #ActuallyAutistic masking…

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

This ain’t the road to heaven This is the road to you   Ahhh… We can begin No… No hiding You called me in You begged me in You let me in   I’ll take you by the hand Take you from the inside Let me slide… in you   Take the first step It is the hard one The rest…   I’ll guide you past the Rotting Ill Fates   Scared, are you? You have nothing to fear. (Nothing to fear but me)   #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

   This is a study for gig and later ltd ed cdr release The Serpent Rite.

Not much of this draft got used in the end. Lines about roads were first spotted on Face or Fall and then found their way to Inducer.

The only part remaining from this version on the final ”Rotting Ill Fates” was ”I’ll guide you past the Rotting Ill Fates”, where it got repeated several times in part and in totality. In addition there were lines in Fate voices depicting what they saw: ”I see pain / I see humiliation / I see death”. The guiding voice leading the mage along the way and around the Fates.

Reading this now I’m seeing things I could work into something completely new.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Oldest still existing version

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart I never set her free

She never went to Paris (I waited 'til I perished) She never saw the Sea (I always had the dream) She never opened up her heart (I tore it right apart) I never set her free (I lay there at your feet)

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart She never wanted free

(I always dreamt of Paris I always had the dream I always played right my part I always tried to flee)

She never went to Paris (I never saw the Sea) She never opened up her heart (I never got set free)

Lyrics on released track

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart I never set her free

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart She never wanted free

She never went to Paris She never opened up her heart

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart (I tore it right apart) I never set her free (I lay there at your feet)

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart She never wanted free (I never got set free)

(Never dream for dreams are broken, Don’t expect except for loss. There’s no Paris, The sea’s grown over. Can’t end what never was.)

EP Liner notes

Ovrian take on love song.

“She never went to Paris, She never saw the sea, She never opened up her heart, I never set her free.”

Text inspired by (and dedicated to) a Near One commenting on how all possible relationships were impossible equations. Written in autumn of 2003, soundscapes extensively reworked around and under the original idea.

Male vocals by Niko Skorpio, bass guitar provided by Mockingwyrd. One incarnation of the track previously released on the ltd ed live CDr “Serpent Rite” under the title “Dream”.

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

EI was written for two voices: male voice repeating his lines about what ”she” did not get to do and a pained female voice entering later on, trying to tell her side of the story to the male character, who chooses to ignore her, or can not hear her.

As the liner notes say, this was written in 2003 and the inspiration and dedication are true. What I left unsaid was that I was one of the impossible equations at the time and the ”she who never opened up her heart” is me. Check my post on Differentiaton Irrevocable for what was happening at the time…

An idea that come up in unrefined and unused form in Love about not being able to ending something that did not exist refers to relationship and was my way of conseptualising my life at the time.

The rest of the lines of are works of creative writing.

There’s a pretty artsy and very angsty video for this track, do check it out (and sorry for the YT link).

Mosaick the Serpent can be found in Bandcamp to listen and to get your own.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

There is Death He walks among us Beautiful and cruel Waiting Watching

There is Death Ever patient All the time in the world

#poetry #lyrics

Background Info

I have no real recollection about writing this. It is probably from late 2002 or early 2003, when I was studying deities of death. No music was ever made for this, at least not this far.

It is very much possible I wrote this more as a poem or ”only” as a poem.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.