Ovro

Poetry

I… I… I got caught… no, that doesn’t tell it right… That morning I caught your eye. I was standing at the bus-stop, filled with feeling lost. So misunderstood, so lonely, head full of dreams… I longed to be had and held, to be loved and cherished.   There I stood in the rain, miserable and wet, then… then you came along. ”How handsome!” I thought and when you spoke to me I melted. You smiled and spoke sweet nothings.   I didn’t care what you really said, it was all poetry to me… You said: ”You are less than I planned for, but you will do the same. I’ll let you feel my pain.”   ”Sweet words!” I thought, heart racing, like a perfect prey.   #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

  This was one of the paper draft finds. I had no recollection of working on this particular draft any further than this one time.   I think this is from somewhere around 2007. I had begun the long road towards what became Id|entities and played around with the various & numerous ideas I had for the album. This was the first appearance of the story of a loner, here told from the perspective of the lonely one. With time, things morphed quite a lot and the final story was told by the person a loner, ”Mr. Friend-Seeker” clung to.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

You do trust me, yes? You do want me . . . as a friend?

I wish to be inside ... your chamber your chamber... of toys and books and I I want to play with your... toys and books and mind

Can I climb in your arms and play with your heart?

You do trust me, yes? You do want me... yes? In your chamber of toys and books? Will you play?

Noone has wanted me before...

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background Info

Another track that never got finished.

The story within is told from from the perspective of a child, so eager to form friendships but having oh so hard time trying. In spite of the pure intentions of the child – they really, truly just want to play, read and have deep discussions – the words they choose, they pauses in delivery due to trying to find the right things to say, all this makes other kids view the poor child odd, weird, creepy and downright scary.

Some version of this I couldn't find had a mocking reply voice repeating “Never trust her lying eyes”. After all, aren't eyes lying if one doesn't hold a steady eye contact? Isn't that what we're taught?

Lying eyes found their way to unfinished track called Love. Yeah, I'm fond of recycling and testing new combinations and contexts.

Looking at this now, I can’t help thinking about #ActuallyAutistic masking…

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

This ain’t the road to heaven This is the road to you   Ahhh… We can begin No… No hiding You called me in You begged me in You let me in   I’ll take you by the hand Take you from the inside Let me slide… in you   Take the first step It is the hard one The rest…   I’ll guide you past the Rotting Ill Fates   Scared, are you? You have nothing to fear. (Nothing to fear but me)   #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

   This is a study for gig and later ltd ed cdr release The Serpent Rite.

Not much of this draft got used in the end. Lines about roads were first spotted on Face or Fall and then found their way to Inducer.

The only part remaining from this version on the final ”Rotting Ill Fates” was ”I’ll guide you past the Rotting Ill Fates”, where it got repeated several times in part and in totality. In addition there were lines in Fate voices depicting what they saw: ”I see pain / I see humiliation / I see death”. The guiding voice leading the mage along the way and around the Fates.

Reading this now I’m seeing things I could work into something completely new.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Oldest still existing version

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart I never set her free

She never went to Paris (I waited 'til I perished) She never saw the Sea (I always had the dream) She never opened up her heart (I tore it right apart) I never set her free (I lay there at your feet)

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart She never wanted free

(I always dreamt of Paris I always had the dream I always played right my part I always tried to flee)

She never went to Paris (I never saw the Sea) She never opened up her heart (I never got set free)

Lyrics on released track

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart I never set her free

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart She never wanted free

She never went to Paris She never opened up her heart

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart (I tore it right apart) I never set her free (I lay there at your feet)

She never went to Paris She never saw the Sea She never opened up her heart She never wanted free (I never got set free)

(Never dream for dreams are broken, Don’t expect except for loss. There’s no Paris, The sea’s grown over. Can’t end what never was.)

EP Liner notes

Ovrian take on love song.

“She never went to Paris, She never saw the sea, She never opened up her heart, I never set her free.”

Text inspired by (and dedicated to) a Near One commenting on how all possible relationships were impossible equations. Written in autumn of 2003, soundscapes extensively reworked around and under the original idea.

Male vocals by Niko Skorpio, bass guitar provided by Mockingwyrd. One incarnation of the track previously released on the ltd ed live CDr “Serpent Rite” under the title “Dream”.

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

EI was written for two voices: male voice repeating his lines about what ”she” did not get to do and a pained female voice entering later on, trying to tell her side of the story to the male character, who chooses to ignore her, or can not hear her.

As the liner notes say, this was written in 2003 and the inspiration and dedication are true. What I left unsaid was that I was one of the impossible equations at the time and the ”she who never opened up her heart” is me. Check my post on Differentiaton Irrevocable for what was happening at the time…

An idea that come up in unrefined and unused form in Love about not being able to ending something that did not exist refers to relationship and was my way of conseptualising my life at the time.

The rest of the lines of are works of creative writing.

There’s a pretty artsy and very angsty video for this track, do check it out (and sorry for the YT link).

Mosaick the Serpent can be found in Bandcamp to listen and to get your own.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

There is Death He walks among us Beautiful and cruel Waiting Watching

There is Death Ever patient All the time in the world

#poetry #lyrics

Background Info

I have no real recollection about writing this. It is probably from late 2002 or early 2003, when I was studying deities of death. No music was ever made for this, at least not this far.

It is very much possible I wrote this more as a poem or ”only” as a poem.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

[monotone]

Face the Void See it stare back relax honey, it will only hurt a little

Face the Void See what stares back it will only hurt

Face the Void Face or fall

Is it… Your indifference? Your mis-placed pride? Illusion of silence curing all? Hoping avoidance would keep out the fall? this road ain’t to heaven

Is it… Pure selfishness? The want to keep cool? Your shattering shell equation of feeling and fool?

(Face the Void Face or fall Face the Void Turn back or grow tall)

Break the circle Face the Void Face and grow tall Face the Void Break the circle Face the Void Face or Fall

#lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient

Background info

I think this is the oldest surviving draft of a piece that got through a few rewrites before getting played and released. Lines in italic marks a different voice entering the scene in a saccharine but sarcastic tone, while the main voice is more monotone. The second last part now in parentheses was crossed over as redundant.

”Relax honey, it will only hurt a little” and ”it will only hurt” later formed a major part of a Vipera Aurea track Scarlet Calls.

The same piece of paper this version was written on included scetchy notes for sentences of ideas to be condensed into lyrics, like ”the hope that closing your eyes will make the troubles/it all go away?”, ”thinking unattended does not exist?” and, for some reason, CLOCKBITE in all capital and large letters. That word has nothing to do with any facing of Void, I had simply needed a corner to scibble that word down.

Thematically, this is lyrics for ritual music – or rather, words to be recited over music in what was to be a gig playing out a story about a ritual working. And, a ritual in itself.

Let’s insert a hastag or two here: #ritual #magick

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

House-broken, tamed, domesticated Securely on a leash Cut open, framed and fabricated Never truly seen

Soft-spoken, chaste, sophisticated Every mother's dream Wild-minded, dark and stony hearted All she's ever been

Never always ever Just think what you will

Better worse or better See her at your whim

Doesn't matter doesn't matter she doesn't feel a thing

doesn't feel a thing doesn't feel a thing

#poetry #lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

This was an early draft for something that didn’t make it to the album I was working on at the time, Mosaick the Serpent.

Parts of these lyrics ended up on a later album Id|entities’s track Absent.

This is a good example of how I tend to view my works, be they written, sounds or visual arts: everything can be picked apart and recycled into something new until I’ve put it officially out for people (music, texts), or somebody buys it off me (visual arts). Sometimes that doesn’t slow me down either.

While this draft didn’t work as is, it contained ideas that gave birth to something new.

”She doesn’t feel a thing” was the starting point for this and reflects how I felt people around me saw me at the time of writing. This was in the summer/autumn of 2003 when everybody I cared about seemed to be drifting away and/or meeting better people to be with. Another personal line was ”see her at your whim” – who cares about my needs when there’s more interesting people and things around. Ignored until needed felt like the theme of the times. Being neurospicy but not aware of it at the time I was pretty lost in trying to make sense of it all.

The rest grew out of those basic thoughts and was more imagined and way less personal. I am cabable of imagining things, as well, after all.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Hide your virgins I’m coming! And the air streams with the ejaculation of trees.

Hide your virgins I’m coming! There’ll be hoards of sons and daughters of god.

#poetry #lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Silly little song about… allergies. And the Great God Pan.

Somebody on an IRC chat was compaining how all the tree semen was making their life miserable and I went ”hmmmm!”. The rest isn’t exactly history, but I had fun. Hopefully those exposed to General PanIck found it funny as well.

This track is related to Summoned I Summon, where some other deity is definitely… coming.

In a song format, ”Hide your virgins I’m coming” was repeated quite a few times in different tones and modes of urgensies. The other two lines were pretty much uttered just once.

I sometimes played this live and finally released on version on Ten..

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Never knew it 'till I touched you Never knew it afterwards.

You keep having me I keep taking you

I'll tell you wide-eyed lies All about our love

Never trust my smiling eyes What was not can't be gone

#poetry #lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Like Differentiaton Irrevocable it was written in 2003 in a bit of tumultous times for me and contains several layers of time and at least two people the ”I” talks about in just eight lines.

The wide-eyed lies mentioned are about love felt but not dared to speak about and about love spoken of, but felt so much less than before.

The idea of ” What was not can't be gone” found its way to another track of mine, Equation Impossible later on.

Lines about Wide-eyed lies and Never trusting smiling eyes got used in another piece, but I don’t think the music got ever made in the new context.

This is a piece of lyrics that have not, this far, found a track to call their own. At the time I had other, more worked on lyrics to compose music to first. Later, my life had turned for the better and this had been pretty much forgotten by then.

(clarity edit...)

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I am my own deamon

Your peril Your breath

Their heaven Their death

Your peril Their death

Your heaven Their breath

Their peril Your breath

Your heaven Their depth

Conquered & crowned Poisoned & proud Dawning & drowned Fawning & found Blinded & bound Sightless & sound

EP Liner notes

Exercising the inner demons may be better than exorcising them. I’m freely admitting not being the originator of that thought, but would add a reminder on the importance of exercising the inner daemon as well.

“I am my own daemon, I am my own demon.”

Such self-sufficient words! One’d think she’d sound more self-assured, though… The own daemon/demon speaks back.

“Your peril, your breath, Their heaven, their death, Your heaven, their breath…

Conquered & crowned, Poisoned & proud, Dawning & drowned, Fawning & found, Beaten & bound, Sightless & sound…”

Text and core of the sound were born in late autumn 2003.

#poetry #lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Unlike many pieces I wrote in autumn of 2003, this is about working magick.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.