Ovro

Lyrics

in my absense i've written poetry though not literally, given my current condition

i'll recite you a piece of my mind listen not that you could choose not to

it isn't great poetry me being out of my head lately you know how it is

“you cannot feel pity your soul's too old to die

none can see this you're too used to hide

to the eyes of the world you're cold you put on a mask do what you're told

you act housebroken, tamed, domesticated cut open, it's all framed and fabricated

close your eyes that I could not see your monstrosity your efficiency”

in my absence i've had nothing but time on my hands though not literally, given my current condition

in my absence I've been watching the world through your eyes and i've seen what is hidden but sometimes shows through the cracks if i know where to look

in my absence i've made myself your quilty conscience the piece of your mind you have misplaced

i've made myself your quilty conscience and that, my love, is literal

#poetry #lyrics #darkambient

Background Info

After two drafts ( first, second ) and one missed album, ideas floating around found their form and home on Id|entities as Absent.

The theme morphed into a male voice in a bit mysterious ”current condition”, writing and citing (bad) poetry to somebody who can not avoid listening. His captive? Is he the captive? Will we find out?

While the starting point years ago was trying to express personal feelings, by this point it’s about indentities and horror.

There’s a music video of Absent on YT, check it if you will.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Love ’n’ Light, Honey

Relax baby, It will only hurt a little It will only hurt

Love ’n’ Fucking Light.

Oh Honey, So sweet So sticky

#poetry #lyrics #darkambient

Background Info

This is the later track mentioned in Inducer. Lyrics have been pruned down to very basics: male voice (performed by Massimo from the Black Sun Productions ) calling and coaxing with promises of just a little pain, while a female voice croons about love, light, honey and the sweetness & the stickyness.

While Inducer on The Serpent Rite was part of a ritual where the magick worker dares to face the void and conquer all the little demonic voices trying to make the mage falter, this version of the love ’n’ fuckingn light theme on Vipera Aurea is more about me watching and being baffled by people participating in dating rituals.

Somewhere along the line Scarlet Calls developed into a jazzy live version people actually danced to.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I had a dream today Walking in the city I was dreaming of the A-bomb It came to take me away

Then you stood there Your hands outstretched Welcoming Crying with joy Staring at the mushroom cloud

Wind caressing your hair Flash licking your eyes Flame burning you to ashes

Your soul eaten Your shade still remained

I watched Moaning Enraged Jealous

The bomb was not for you It came to take ME away Why did it kiss you? It was for me… Why did it love you?

You saw me dreaming, didn’t you? You – stole – my – dream

I had a dream today It came for me.

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background Info

Oh my. This may need a bit of explaining.

Somewhere in 2003 or -04 I was chatting with a fellow genX:er (on IRC, as proper genX folks did back then) about growing up in an environment of A-bomb scare, bomb documentaries we both managed to see a bit too young, seeing magazines with maps of ”these towns would be targeted by Soviet A-bombs and this far from those towns would be devastated!. This, too, a bit too young. We chatted about the sleepless nights and nightmares resulting from all the tad too grown-up bomb info around us.

Malice’s Bomb grew out of those discussions. Malice, the namesake of my debut album, was a childlike character, a bit disturbed perhaps… or a bit disturbing. These are two quite different things, you know, while they can appear simultaneously.

Long version of this track was performed by me and the other genXer in question in 2004. There’s also a 59 second version made for a consept album of max one minute tracks. i don’t know if that got ever actually released, so I put it on Ten.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Give me your hell and I’ll give you some more (x 2)

Love & Light, honey Love and fucking light Sweet and sticky

Relax, baby It will only hurt a little Oh, honey So sweet so sticky

Relax, baby It will only hurt a little It will only hurt

This road ain’t to heaven This road is to you

Face the void see it stare back Face the void see what stares back

Is it your indifference? Your mis-placed pride? Illusion of silence curing all? Hoping avoidance would brake down the fall?

Is it your indifference? Is is pure selfishness?

Your shattering shell... Equation of feeling and fool

Face the void Break the circle Face the void Break the circle

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

This version (earlier ones being called Face or Fall and Face the void)was played live and then released on ltd ed CDr The Serpent Rite. Yes, this is Ceremonial Magick in sound form.

Parts of these lyrics got later lifted out of this context and released later on in a different track.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Oldest surviving draft

met and parted perfect strangers you my heartache I your vorpal angel

slept a decade tired of dreaming

cried paint me scarlet call me a rose

by any other name it's not the same

talked to the hand your eye would not see me

tried changing it never did the want went away

met and parted perfect strangers you my heartache I your vorpal angel

Second draft

met and partied mortal strangers one a mirror one a vorpal angel

slept a decade grew tired of dreaming black hazy heartache woke up screaming

wailed paint me scarlet call me a rose it isn't the same by any other name

no game want gone away

left departed mortal strangers no more mirrors only vorpal angels

Vorpal Angel (EP version)

met and partied mortal strangers one mirror one vorpal angel

slept a decade grew tired of dreaming black hazy heartache woke up screaming

cried paint me scarlet call me a rose no other name is the same

no game (never, never came) want gone away

left departed vorpal angel (stop breaking mirror, be a vorpal angel)

no more mirrors only mortal strangers.

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Another one of those late 2003 lyrics of mine dealing with my life back then. See my post on Differentiaton Irrevocable. This is a story of my first, long lasting relationship in form of poetry. I am the Vorpal Angel, my then SO is the Mirror and the situation is me realizing things are about to fall apart.

Vorpal Angel is on the Vipera Aurea side of MtS/VA double EP.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

(We) meet, (we) join, (we) reach (pleasure)

Your eyes my reflection Voice, taking me deeper Breath, touching me mindless Lost in your senses

My skin your world Sex, seamlessly joining Voice, bringing you power Found in my senses

My skull open bursting connecting losing

All yourselves Mixed in with mine All myselves Contained in your senses

The bodies perfect match The minds trigger mingle

Higher, deeper Across the Abyss Floating, flying liquid, firm

The Void stares back Jealous and steaming

I'm fire We're fire I'm fire You forget In fire, you forget

I fire I fire you forget you forget Forget...

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Yes, this is about sex. Great sex. Truly great sex. Intimacy felt everywhere under my skin.

Then – it was not there anymore.

Written in 2003, it is based on personal experience and didn’t find a home on any track or album. Too personal at the time, too much baring my soul and yeah... Life.

There more things change the more they stay the same, goes a saying. Don't know about that but I do know about this kind of loss.

Maybe, finally, in this phase of my life it is time to resurrect this and actually make a track out of it and feel good about what was?

Note the Void staring back? That idea sure was around that time.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I cannot feel pity my soul's too old to die

None will ever see this I'm too used to hide

I cannot feel pity my soul's just too old

to the eyes of the world I'm cold I put on a mask do as I'm told

they see me housebroken tamed domesticated ev'ry mother's dream

that isn't me

they see me soft-spoken chaste sophisticated

never truly seen

I'm dreaming of friends at last I'm dreaming of friends that last but I rather just dream than be met with another slap cold and wet

another blow on the bruise but it's all bruise now breaking the bones of my soul

insides are cut open framed fabricated

see me how you will

and... wild-minded dark stony hearted

all I've ever been

I walk heavy headed I do not understand...

not this world maybe next

my reflection turns away

it will not see me it knows what is hidden and sometimes shows through the cracks if you know where to look

#poetry #lyrics #DarkAmbient #ActuallyAutistic

Background info

Some of this will ne familiar to those who have been reading my posts lately – or have listened to Id|entities track Absent. Earlier version was called Mementropy, this version didn’t have a name.

This is from 2008, I think, and has turned more into a study of loneliness. Some lines within did, in fact, end up in a story / song on that very subject.

Looking back at this text, it ks very much written from the point of view of an as yet not realized autistic, trying hard to make sense of how they're being seen and so often so misunderstood in the world.

If there ever was a piece of lyrics trying to tell myself things, I could nominate this bit: “it knows what is hidden / and sometimes shows through the cracks / if you know where to look” as being about masking and how only those who spot the mask and the cracks see the actual me.

And, heck, this: “to the eyes of the world I'm cold / I put on a mask do as I'm told”. It may have taken me time to realise my own masking and that there was never anything wrong with me, just different wiring.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I am the All that comes from Nothing The Nothingness (of All) The height and unheight The light and unlight darkness and undark The nothing of it all The all in naught   I am the lust Khaos given The will to live (in Fall) The lust and the love The life and rebirth The birth and living living and growing the loving everything The all in love   I am the death Khaos given The will to Die (I call) Unevitable The death and decay The dust and dying Decomposing rot The dying everything The naught in death.   (Khaos – Eros – Thanatos / Erothanatos – Erothanate – Erothanathos / Thanatos, Eros, Thanatos, Eros / Thanatera, Thanatero, Thanatheros )   #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

  With this one all that got recorded was me saying ”Khaos, Eros, Thanatos” and those got used elsewhere in the end. I’d hazard a guess this was another draft for the Serpent Rite gig/release, but got scrapped to keep things at optimal lenght and avoiding adding three more characters in the mix.

Thematically and linquistically this is definitely related to Invocation.

This might be useful in proper setting, say a ritual for these three primordial Greek ones. 

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I invoke thee, oh Bornless One Thee, who art the Mother of it all Thou who art the creation and the destruction Thou art unseen and formless Thou art form and sight Thee, who art beyond justice and the wielder of justice Thee, who art time and timeless   Thou art the love in all things and the hate in all things Thou art light and the unlight   Thee, thee I invoke I invoke thee I am thee   #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

   The text is an adaptation of a Thelemic ritual called ”Bornless Ritual” and was the opening track in the Serpent Rite, although with more direct quotes from the ritual included in the final version played.

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Face the void see it stare back Face the void see what stares back

Is it your indifference? Your mis-placed pride? Illusion of silence curing all? Hoping avoidance would brake down the fall?

Is it your indifference? Is is pure selfishness?

Your shattering shell...

Equation of feeling and fool

I am your guilty conscience your filthy mind superstitions unbound

I am my filthy conscience my quilty mind fantasies unfulfilled

mediocre mindlfulness bourgoise beauty petty pities

Who's behind my mirror

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Second draft for something appearing later on the extremely rare live album (16 ever made, 15 in circulation) The Serpent Rite. The year is 2004, summer.

First draft (Face or Fall) is still partly here, but I have introduced ideas about a voice being somebody’s guilty/filthy conscience and more bashing of the one talked to, in allitteration even. Those additions didn’t work here, but some got used later on. No use letting useful ideas go to waste, I say!

Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.