“I am the fucked-up breath of anti-life, The bastard child of Nix & Nada, The killing tide of myths undone, One with Nothing Nothing in One. I am the speed of Dark.

(– Where do you go little girl? What’s the sound of Abyss entering Void?)”

#lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient

Background Info

Not a draft or unused piece, but definitely an old one. If I recall correctly, this dates back to before I dove head first into making sounds and was first posted on a Pagan IRC channel. Somebody floated a question about speed of dark, I got thinking about the consept and this was the result.

I don’t recall what the original title was, Statement of Inexistance was picked while I was fine-tuning track titles for Mosaick the Serpent EP.

Mosaick the Serpent can be found in Bandcamp to listen and to get your own.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

“the noose is waiting it is your friend your one, last, only

let it all hang end the game, the shame, the blame

let it all hang

come, meet the noose you should, you know, you should end it the noose is the end you want it, you should

look at yourself you fool! unloved, unwanted, shamed

solution – the noose

let it all hang! you should!

end it you want it you should

who would care?

all forget you as they should you are forgotten before you even end it

let it all hang come, come to noose it is your friend”

#poetry #lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background Info

These lyrics were written in 2003 while I was really not feeling well. My then FWB had unilaterally decided to switch to ditching the ”WB” after meeting somebody new, but did not tell me about it until they got suffiently drunk and I asked why the sudden cold shoulder in the tenderness department. Until that revelation I was left feeling I must be utterly revolting. With the body issues and resulting insecurities that have been my life long companion things were bad. After? Not that much better. While I learned it wasn't that I had suddenly become undesirable, to my mind I was simply so much less desirable than somebody else – perhaps even anybody else.

To make things worse, my long time SO had started to drift away to the world and values of their father-figure-like boss and that relationship was heading downhill.

In my 2006 released double EP Mosaick the Serpent / Vipera Aurea this track’s liner notes said:

”You know how some people say they hear voices in their head, coaxing, advising, ordering them to end their lives? Have you ever wondered, whether these voices are “merely” the result of mental instability of the person in question, or whether there is somebody else there stuck in the same body (and partly mind?), wanting to be let out? Interpretation of such coaxing voices, written by putting meselves through practice of thinking in different states of mind.”

In reality, this is what was going trough my head at the time. Writing these thoughts down and naming the voice as another was a way of banishing.

On the album, the track ends with whispered words: ”Be banished!” Better stay banished.

MtS/VA is available at https://someplaceelse.bandcamp.com/album/mosaick-the-serpent-vipera-aurea

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.