weekly Rworld news

I have preferred abstract imagery over words for expressing my thoughts because writing feels finite & imagery feels infinite.

A reason that I live in the city where I grew up is that it feels less like a choice than moving. Here is here, I've thought; whereas Elsewhere is... where? Why choose one place over all the others? As I prepare to move Away I'm drawn to the practice of regular written reports as a way to share my progress with others — and to help keep me motivated.

In other words I'm plunging myself into circumstances that I dislike: committing to make a choice from an array of options in where to lay my head in 2026 & in what to write about weekly & monthly.

There's one thing that painting and writing (and even where I'll live) have in common — the pejorative question, Who cares?!

I want to tell others about movies that I find amazing, Cielo & Alamar & The Ghost of Winter's Cape... but who do I think is turning to me for entertainment recommendations? To make sense I'd need to offer thorough reviews & then I'd need to do so regularly so that I'd build an audience for that service... but I never wanted to be a film reviewer. So is it better to not even talk about it? Do you find this questioning silly? Is there a you?

There's an account that I follow on the fediverse with regular climate crisis information. It's useful info but also it’s repetitive. Surely the person who runs it has other interests! I'm running my accounts as if I'm a celebrity & I'm very much not. I'm wanting to share all my aspects, not just my paintings, because I see it all related.

Honestly anonymity is more freeing than fame. I suppose I can write anything, paint anything, record anything. Most of the time the audience is 1-3 people. I know that I should try harder: to find a way to “make it”; to focus & edit much more; to entertain. Sigh. I have a 30-year body of work that I am proud of. I don't know what to do with it & it is not a source of income; but I like it & I'm not the only one. To relate to what I said above about audience, I feel we are accustomed to following the famous nowadays. Anything that a famous person does, no matter how boring, is “interesting” because they did it. Anything that a non famous person does is “boring” because they aren't objects of collective fascination. I do not feel at risk of becoming famous & that's a dilemma. Good, because I fear that the famous have very little time to think. I can't imagine being in high demand & being constantly praised. I would fear losing perspective. On the other hand, only by being famous is art deemed worth anything in our society. With fame I would have the pleasure of knowing my work wasn't destined to be trashed & I would even be granted the privilege of earning a living! What a wild thought that is! There was a time when I aspired to “local/regional fame” but that's a lot of work for little reward — and some of my least favorite work, ass kissing.

Anyway that's too much for now. This isn't the coherent, meaningful post I'd like it to be. It is what it is.