humanissome

(from This Arab Is Queer: An Anthology of LGBTQ+ Arab Writers, edited by Elias Jahshan)

Selections: ⇀ 3. Never let anyone tell you that you can be dehumanised. Language has many powers, but this is not one of them. Tragically, you are always human – when you oppress, and when you are oppressed. The illusion that more is possible is the root of all evil. ⇀ 5. Do not mistake cynicism for criticism, or criticism for intelligence. Rid yourself of cynicism, which is self-loathing projected outward. It's an inability or unwillingness to account for one's actions and intentions without condemning yourself, and so you damn everyone. ⇀ 7. You are capable of so much more than you imagine – especially kindness. This is a criticism. What have you imagined recently that wasn't a worst-case scenario? This is a seed. Turn it into a door to another world.

8. Take the word 'Arab', oh black bird, shake her out into a galaxy, and again, expanding night, bejewelled cosmos! Look, look how she fits everything and everyone. Look how foolish it is to staple to a body. Take your frames, O criminals, you the designated disasters, lube them well, ride yourself to completion. If it's going to fuck you, you might as well have fun along the way.

9. You love being watched. You hate being watched. This is to do with the watcher: the surveillance state naming you sad sodomite, sinister Saddam. This is to do with your haunted mirror. You want to live in the blink, the afterimage, the blur.

10. The spectre of suicide – the other face of which is murder – lives within you, growing hearty on shame. When you stop running, you will learn the spectre wants only to be loved. Trust that death solves nothing and shame is only useful in identifying what you need to understand.

11. Breathe.

12. Fearful of loss, some people build a wall around their beloveds, thinking it will keep them close. Keep you safe. Insecurity smothers, habibi. Be wary of walls. They won't change when you all do, and then what will you do?

13. Another word for wall is family.

14. Nostalgia is the body missing itself. Isn't that wild? How you miss your wild.

15. 'Authenticity is not a fixed point in the past to which we must return in order to establish our identity. It is rather a constant capacity for movement and for going beyond existing limits...' – Adonis.

16. You will make artwork that is rooted in your life – in part because it has been made detestable and you want to make it presentable; in part because you love it, and don't understand it – and at the end, you will wonder why you feel like a fraud, why you detest what others applaud. I hate my work, you will say, when what you mean is, I hate my life. You have yet to see the work for what it is: a reclamation, a reimagining.

17. Drink some water, it's not that serious. Life is unbelievably precious, finite, divine, sure. But serious? Nah. ⇀ ⇀

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I am grateful to the Queer Liberation Library / QLL for access to this book. It's a nationwide-US resource for queer materials especially valuable during a time of Republican attacks on human knowledge. My state of Florida is one of the absolute worst US offenders in censorship of queer information & existence. It's a genuine threat. I can read passages in This Arab Is Queer & not feel, “Oh those countries are awful for their treatment of gays!” So is mine! One can say that the extent of comparative suffering is relative but I'm a humanist. I advocate human respect and freedom for all. My struggle is their struggle & we all must be free.

I love you.

Access to queer books is very much in demand. I waited 6 months for This Arab Is Queer & there are 30 waiting for it from me (while I'm typing this instead of finishing it!). Digital access to media is expensive for libraries who are probably having to pay large entertainment corporations and venture capitalist firms for access to human culture! If you are able please support the QLL. Support me. Let's support each other. Some support is financial, some moral, some inspirational. And check out the QLL yourself if you need access to more queer media.

Kisses!