RMiddleton

This post would be titled My Sins.

I would list the social norms that I am breaking.

I would express ambivalence for some, regret for some, defiance for some.

I would assert that I am choosing to live in a manner that leverages every asset I have in service of long-term goals that might be considered unrealistic. I would explain that I prefer progress that feels slow and natural, that takes root within me.

I would explain my social norm breaking as an effort to resist what feels like a constant siege from outside influences that do not, cannot know what is best for me (and in many cases do not care; or are explicitly unconcerned with my well-being).

I would discuss how social norm breaking causes difficulties that are “added to the list” of goals. In this section I would further elucidate situations about which I feel regret and ambivalence.

At no point would I endorse shame. I would confess that titling this “My Sins” is a form of lazy discourse to dislodge my ambivalence. I would admit the incompleteness of my path. Self acceptance is the necessary goal. Striving towards it, my attitude towards religion has evolved: acceptance, incorporation, rejection, defiance. I am yet to fully find peaceful coexistence with religion; that's a barrier in many relationships. Social norms are not necessarily grounded in religious teachings. Perhaps I would describe the intertwining of norms and morals, and contrast with ethics. These are not my specialties. I center feelings. The feelings part is that breaking norms can lead to ostracization and condemnation. These struggles feel life and death. They are existential.

Breaking norms has not occurred frivolously. It's my choice in an effort to live a life that feels worth living. I will continue doing so and endeavoring to explain.