Reader

Let me start off by saying this: I create work and express ideas that I believe should stand on their own merits without relying on networking, trends, or the whims of a fickle audience or a handpicked group of elite critics or judges. And yet, I am acutely aware of the paradox that confronts just about anyone wanting acknowledgment that translates into visibility and validation that is genuinely of substance despite not always being able to immediately please everyone: the tension between merit and what people determine is worthy of that acknowledgment.

Now, let's be honest: I am not and never have been a social media person. I don't have as much of a childlike susceptibility to finding literally every kind of well-produced art or comedy or similar entertainment to be easily amusing and so good, as I'm much more discerning about what I like and what I choose to engage with. I don't reply as much to literally every single trending post I see, partly because responses are often misread and partly because of me feeling pressured to reply to these posts for every repeated time I see them. I do not widen my social circle by default, and I reserve warmth and attention for whom and what truly interests me; this does not mean that I find the people I choose not to engage with literally unworthy of that interest, but rather, I haven't found that kind of spark in most people and things yet. (Basically, what I'm saying is, it's not you, it's me.) Because I'm very selective in my warmth, don't believe in joining niche groups on the premise that “common interests bring people together” (in my experience, they don't, and reality is much messier than this childlike premise), or otherwise play the social game of being more entertaining or interesting in a way that attracts others, my work doesn't generate those signals and so it stays mostly invisible to those not susceptible to what's immediately engaging.

As a result, everything I do becomes discoverable only when someone actively seeks it out, when an aggregator surfaces it, or when one or more people (I refuse to use the word “algorithm” or blame it on an abstract “system”) choose to amplify it, hence my reliance on word-of-mouth marketing. Because I don't engage or connect or immediately impress people the way others want me to, I become socially deprioritized, no matter how good I am at my craft or how interesting or useful or talented I could be.

When I say I want my art to be recognized by its own merits, I don't really mean that I want a handful of professionals or a large community to decide whether I am worthy of awards or accolades or grant money. I mean that I want anyone to come take a look at what I do and decide for themselves whether they want to engage further with what I do or what I stand for or not. Experience, expertise, or even an interest in art should not be prerequisites for that judgment. My ultimate aspiration is not recognition from elite circles or mass validation (or even external validation itself!), but something more fundamental: genuine connection with other artists, especially with those in my situation. The ones who aren't immediately recognized and stay hopelessly deprioritized by the masses. That is part of the reason for my selectivity, not because I think I'm too good for everyone else or that no one could ever understand me. And I hate that people default to that kind of bias against me.

However, I don't like how one of the apparent consequences of taking this stance has resulted in what seems to be a consignment of my work to silence, whether intentionally imposed on me or not. Currently, I have had to stop making Untilted constricted to a paid membership because of how I was not getting any subscribers whatsoever (though I did receive a thoughtful $1 donation), and it's getting harder to work with a lack of actual feedback on my work. I feel like everyone has become either too scared or too quick to overlook things to meaningfully criticize others. Constructive feedback and meaningful dialogue become substituted for dismissive one-liners and absolute black-and-white thinking because people have a general tendency to jump to absolutes. And when I do discourage those negative things, all of a sudden no one wants to respond. I also dislike that the populace that privileges visibility often forces this kind of compromise, and I resent that this is read as disengagement.

Let me tell you a personal anecdote about me. When I was still in high school, I would get mostly honor rolls and certificates of excellence and stuff like that. Sometimes, some of my art would be exhibited in the classroom hallways and in-school art festivals. I even had a self-portrait of mine get accepted to be published in the Spring 2017 Celebrating Art Anthology, though it never was selected as a Top Ten or a High Merit Winner. I don't really remember receiving any harsh criticism of my work or anything like that, but I did mostly get vaguely praised – think compliments like “Wow, she's so good!” or “How is she so talented?” But I don't feel like I ever received any real genuine praise or criticism that was actually willing to delve deeper into more than just the techniques I choose to enhance my artwork or the subjects I choose. This is especially noticeable when I make realistic paintings and drawings of things like flowers, plants, nature, animals, and other similar subjects. Part of the reason I don't depict as much realism as I used to back in school is because it seems that the majority of today's viewers only superficially see that I'm good at portraying it and nothing more. It's why I'm increasingly preferring to do nonrepresentational art nowadays, even if the majority mostly ignore it, don't quite understand it, or prefer a stereotypical depiction of it to my unique interpretation of it.

I may have to figure out a way to develop more nuanced strategies of visibility that align with my constraints and philosophy. But what would that mean for me? I don't know. All I ever wanted was to cultivate a small and discerning yet close-knit and thoughtful audience of people. I have no interest in controlling what and how people interact with me, or what they say and think of me. I just want to put my art out there without requiring me to have to actively impress others or justify myself existing. That's all. And frankly I already do some form of that, but I admit I have to try other things as well.

Well, take care.

This is a review of a comic written & drawn by @pebble@critters.gay, available at [https://aacomic.pebble.pet/]. All perspectives expressed herein are my own; I received no compensation or free access to the comic or whatever anytime before or after writing this review. I just really liked it & wanted to share some of the things I liked about it since I suspect may others would like it, too.

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TL:DR – “Afterhour Adjustments” is a beautiful & impactful concise graphic novel that deserves a place within every collection of 'exceptional queer allegories'.

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The digital 9-page comic “Afterhour Adjustments” (by @pebble@critters.gay) takes less than a half-hour to read, which I've done more than a dozen times by now. Every time I go thru this comic I find myself enjoying it even more – & I already liked it quite a lot the first time I read it.

Not only are the characters & scenes in this short story gorgeously illustrated, packed with abundant care & eye-catching detail, but the story those panels depict presents readers with an exceptionally compelling personal allegory that kept me ruminating LONG after I'd finished reading.

Right out of the gate, I'm a HUGE fan of how effectively this comic applies the color & composition of each panel & page as visual vehicles for its narrative: the dark, cool colors in first few pages immediately set a tone of unease & vulnerability that pave the way for the strange blue creature's 'adjustments', while the flip from cool to warm colors in the last two pages perfectly reflects Pebble's journey from disbelief to discomfort, to exploration, to acceptance and, eventually, to appreciation.

One aspect of this story I hadn't expected to appreciate as much as I do is the mystery: I LOVE diving deep into & unraveling all the settings & characters & backstories & motives in a story, but here all of those threads seem to be intentionally held forever “off-screen”. We don't know much AT ALL about the mischievous “strange blue creature” aside from what we can glean by their appearance (shackled arms & legs + ear tag suggesting a prisoner/test subject of some kind) & actions (powerful enough to permanently alter & teleport a living creature's body, but not to undo those changes, allegedly!), & there's nothing to imply that information would even matter, to Pebble. Far from a frustration, the absence of any further context or exposition regarding the SBC seems like an essential component that allows Pebble to re-frame & grow as a result of their experience.

To me, the heap of unanswerable questions surrounding the SBC represent their fourth & final 'gift' to Pebble, perfectly matching what their other three 'adjustments' provide:

Freedom via denial.

“By eliminating Pebble's ability to [A], the strange blue creature gave Pebble freedom from [B]”: [A]= speak; eat; grab/hold; have genitals; know anything about who did this to them, or how/why. [B]= worrying about what to say/how to say it; deciding what to eat/make/order for food; having to justify any perceived clumsiness; gender assumptions based on their genitals; the need to understand any of those things.

The titular events in “Afterhour Adjustments” are a powerful series of visual metaphors that manage to deftly capture & reveal the immaterial societal pressures that haunt the esteem of our own personal capabilities in an extremely memorable & remarkably wholesome fashion: by forcibly overturning their anatomy, the 'strange blue creature' relieves Pebble of the oppressive burdens they'd unknowingly inherited, demonstrating the true weight of those shadows by the lightness of Pebble's heart in their absence.

...and ALL of these events are super pretty, the WHOLE time. (Did I mention I like this comic? It's great!)

In fact, the only real criticism I have of “Afterhour Adjustments” (which isn't even an actual problem) is that I want MORE!

I REALLY enjoyed every glimpse of Pebble's story post-alteration, & wish we'd been able to tag along for more of their experience – from immediate fear & uncertainty to grief & dread, to desperate courage & tenuous progress, to fragile confidence & unexpected joys. I completely understand the author's choice to truncate Pebble's journey, as I'd imagine fleshing that all out would've fully redoubled the effort this comic required, but those two pages could have been twenty & I wouldn't have minded at all, given the chance to follow on & on through the indeterminate mire of emotions that led Pebble to the day they stood bare before a mirror within which they saw reflected a body worth appreciating that was their own.

...which was an absolutely incredible panel/imagery for the comic to end on, and I loved everything about it. I'm not crying YOU'RE crying!​

Fantastic work, all around! Cannot even believe that this is the author's first full color comic. 10/10, will happily read again & again.

-GoodNewsGreyShoes

There's a fully Madonna themed takeout restaurant here btw

I thought I would compare my time on Isla Holbox (pronounced “Ol'bosh”) to the lyrics of Madonna's La Isla Bonita.

¿Cómo puede ser verdad?

How can it be true? I don't know. I don't think that it is, but maybe it's “emotionally true.”

Last night I dreamt of San Pedro Just like I'd never gone, I knew the song

Last night I dreamt of Isla Holbox (probably) I still haven't gone, there's much more than one song

Young girl with eyes like the desert

So, dry? Unemotional? Sandy? Or the dark desert at night? This island isn't desert. Nor at all deserted—even when we went to the far north end of the island tonight where this photo was taken, we were among other tourists.

It all seems like yesterday, not far away

It all was yesterday the day before and today and half of tomorrow too, not far away I'm still here

Tropical the island breeze, all of nature wild and free (Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) This is where I long to be, La Isla Bonita

True!

And when the samba played,

Not so much samba. A lot bordering on techno. Dance music. Big bass. Also cover singers. ABBA daily. Even some Madonna. Sade. Gay, Latin or Miami dance club music. Nonstop right now at 03:27! Absolutely nothing indie. Shakira! Shakira!

the sun would set so high

How is that possible? The sun always sets low, as low as you can see. Madge, is your island mountainous? Isla Holbox is not. And here is its sunset.

(Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) Ring through my ears and sting my eyes, your Spanish lullaby

My ears always ring. Tinnitus. The salt and sweat and sun lotion does sting my eyes. No lullabies. And if there were I'd likely call them Mexican (or whatever the country of origin) vs. Spanish. I know that the language is Spanish, but Spanish lullaby doesn't sound right, unless it's from Spain. He sang me a Spanish lullaby He sang me an Argentinian lullaby He sang me a Mexican lullaby 🤔

I fell in love with San Pedro Warm wind carried on the sea, he called to me Te dijo, “Te amo” I prayed that the days would last, they went so fast

I fell in love with Isla Holbox Refreshing wind comes off the sea, he called to me, “Are you looking for tequila?” / “Would you like to book a tour?” / “Prescriptions can be mailed to the US.” Te dijo, “No, gracias.” Pero hay un otro hombre y te dijo, “te quiero”! I didn't pray. The days did last. They flowed at the proper pace & it felt good. Yes I feel ambivalence about the time here ending but it's not permanent. My companion and I both look forward to what we will do next, separately. It's not sad just because this moment is good and temporary. I try to make every moment good.

I want to be where the sun warms the sky

💛

When it's time for siesta, you can watch them go by

??

Beautiful faces, no cares in this world

Patronizing, ignorant. But yes there are happy looking people here, why not? Society doesn't have to be miserable; it's a choice.

Where a girl loves a boy, and a boy loves a girl

A lot of that pretty much, though we did see 2 men holding hands walking down the street today. And that felt good.

See https://vernissage.photos/@Romex for photos of the trip. I'll continue adding to this gallery after the current trip ends. And I'll use that address for future Mexico travel.

Holbox is La Isla Bonita indeed. The best memories aren't all sunsets and lovers. I enjoyed meeting the Argentinian man who moved here, worked scooping ice cream for a year and then went in with a friend to open the simple & delicious restaurant where we ate tonight. A highlight of the time in Holbox is observing the many community games taking place in rotation on a central multi use court: practice soccer, volleyball, basketball. Wholesome night activities. And I hope to long remember the look that my words put on a woman's face tonight. In a convenience store where the line was never long but always steady, an older woman began ringing up my purchases. It was one of the few times here that I've seen someone looking beleaguered. “Buenas noches,” I said. She brightened, stood a little straighter, smiled and said, “Muy bueno!” Then we navigated selecting a Kinder Bueno for my friend & soon we parted.

¡Adios!

¡Hasta luego!

Smiling. Human beings being human. Smiling. Smizing. Living. That's why I'm on this trip, human being being human practice. And oh yeah Spanish practice too.

'Staluego amigos

Dass dieses Jahr eine liebe Freundin das erste Mal auf den Chaos Communication Congress fährt, nehme ich zum Anlass, hier einmal ein kleines Howto für den Congress zu geben. Falls irgendetwas Relevantes fehlt, gebt gern bescheid.

Zuerst eine kleine Linkliste zur Orientierung (diese und weitere Links finden sich auch auf dieser Übersichtsseite):

• die Infoseiten sind eine Sammlung von Informationen über die Infrastrukturen des Kongress. Was dort steht, kommt von offizieller Seite. Da gibt es auch einen Abschnitt für Erstbesuchies.
• Der Hub hingegen ist letztlich eine Art Wiki (also eine Informationssammlung, an der jeder alle mitarbeiten können, wenn sie sich einen Account machen). Dort finden sich selbstorganisierte Veranstaltungen, Assemblies, Projekte, ein schwarzes Brett und weiteres.
• Social Media: Es kann sein, dass auf Bluesky auch ein bisschen über den Congress geschrieben wird, aber das meiste wird auf Mastodon los sein, vor allem unter #39c3. Wenn Du Dich dort anmelden willst, hau mich gerne noch mal an.
• Die Chaospat*innen sind eine Gruppe explizit für Erstbesuchende, die haben sicher noch mehr Ressourcen.

Was tun?

• Besuche Self Organized Sessions oder Vorträge, die Dich interessieren.
• Gehe in einen Vortrag oder einen Workshop, von dessen Thema Du keine Ahnung hast.
• Freiwillig mitzuhelfen (“engeln”) würde ich erst ab dem zweiten Congress empfehlen. Falls Du Dich aber sehr verloren fühlst (passiert nicht selten, auch den ganz Erfahrenen), ist das vielleicht trotzdem ein sehr guter Einstieg: https://guide.c3heaven.de/index.en.html
• Sich mit Freunden treffen und über das Gelände stromern ist auf alle Fälle eine gute Idee.
• Wenn du jemanden mit einem interessanten Projekt triffst, frag ihn gerne dazu aus. Die allermeisten Leute haben Bock, über die Dinge zu reden, die sie auf dem Congress zeigen.
• Wenn jemand unfreundlich wirkt, ist er oft eher gestresst, müde oder überfordert.
• Versuche überall mal gewesen zu sein, weil es wahnsinnig viel zu entdecken gibt.
• Versuche trotzdem nicht, alles zu erleben. Der Kongress ist viel zu groß, dass eine Person wirklich alles mitbekommen könnte. Du wirst notwendig irgendwas verpassen; das ist okay. Versuch, den Moment zu genießen.
• Aus dem selben Grund: Ruh auch mal aus.
• Such Dir „Missionen“; zum Beispiel mit jemandem über Geocaching reden, endlich mal ein Bastelproblem lösen indem Du jemanden dazu ausfragst, eine Postkarte austragen oder alle Arcade-Automaten finden. Oft sind das gute Kennenlern-Möglichkeiten und sehr schöne Erinnerungen.
• Eine wichtige Sache ist noch die Foto-Policy. Wenn Du Fotos von irgendwas machen möchtest, dann ist es üblich, alle Leute, die auf dem Foto drauf sein werden, vorher zu fragen, ob das für sie okay ist. Es ist oft sehr schade, dass man dann coole Sachen nicht so einfach festhalten kann, aber es ist eine wichtige Regel in der Community.

Begriffe

• Vorträge vs. Self organized sessions: Das Vortragsprogramm (“Fahrplan”) ist von der Congress-Orga kuratiert, wird größtenteils aufgenommen und gestreamt, und ist üblicherweise von sehr hohem Niveau. Die Self organized Sessions sind viel weniger kuratiert und oft Hands-on-Workshops. Dort lernt eins auch eher neue Leute kennen. Vorträge Du auch im Januar noch anschauen, deshalb würde ich eher Workshops priorisieren. Es gibt übrigens auch eine App für Fahplan und Workshops.
• Assemblies sind die Orte von teilnehmenden Gruppen. So hat der CCC Hamburg beispielsweise einen Tisch, an dem sie sich treffen und an dem man sie treffen kann. Aber es gibt auch größere Assemblies wie beispielsweise die der Haecksen mit eigenem Workshopraum.
• DECT/Eventphone: wenn du noch ein altes Schnurlostelefon hast, kannst du das auf dem Congress verwenden. Dort gibt es ein eigenes Telefonnetz.
• Himmel: Organisation der freiwilligen Helfer*innen („Engel“)
• POC/VOC/NOC: Das -OC steht für “Operation Center”. Das sind Teams, die sich um Infrastruktur auf dem Congress kümmern, sie werden hier im Engel-Guide genauer erklärt.
• Hilfe: CERT für die physische Gesundheit, Awarenessteam für die psychische, Security für die Security.

Gutgemeinte Ratschläge

• Komm schon am 26.12. mal rum; das ist „Tag 0“. Da ist noch Aufbau, aber schon ganz gut zum Orientieren.
• Bring Deinen Laptop mit, vielleicht wollen Dir Leute Computerdinge beibringen...
• Such Dir ein „Zu Hause“, eventuell bei den Haecksen oder der Assembly eines Hackspaces, der nah an Deinem Wohnort ist, am besten bei Leuten, die Du schon kennst. Da liegt dann Dein Ladekabel, Dein Essen und eventuell eingesammelter Bastelkram; und Du kannst da auch mal ein, zwei Stunden sitzen und den letzten Workshop verdauen.
• Wie schon erwähnt, mach auch mal Pause, versuch nicht, alles zu erleben.
• Nimm Dir Essen mit. Das Messe-Essen ist teuer.
• Es sind tausende Personen während der Erkältungssaison in einem relativ engen Raum – „Congressseuche“ ist schon lange ein etablierter Begriff. Regelmäßiges Händewaschen ist absolut sinnvoll; ich würde auch eine gut sitzende Maske empfehlen.
• Wenn Du Dich irgendwann sehr erschlagen und klein fühlst, als wären alle um Dich rum krasse Hacker, nur Du nicht: Glaub mir, auch den krassen Hackern geht es so. Aber „All creatures welcome“ ist ernst gemeint; allen ist klar, dass eine der größten Stärken der CCC seine Diversität ist.
• Ein weiteres bekanntes Phänomen ist der Post-Congress-Blues. Dagegen hilft:
  • Beim Abbau mithelfen
  • Im örtlichen Hackspace vorbeikommen
  • Mit Freunden Vorträge gucken

Addenda

• WLAN: das Congress-Netz ist famously overengineered; hier finden sich Hinweise, wie Du ins Wifi kommst.

I'm not ok. I'm just waiting until Monday when I will contact AAA for a new battery. I don't know why I'm waiting until a weekday to use a 24/7 emergency service but it might require additional steps that would be easier/cheaper during business hours. That and I really don't want to do anything so waiting is easier than doing. At some point today I'll have to order food. I'm miserable and not talking to anyone. Getting help is too hard because it requires me to coordinate the help and I can't do anything right now. Somehow I think calling AAA and dealing with anonymous service providers is something that I might be able to do. And it opens up the freedom to get out of here on my own power. Coordinating help with others is far too many steps and decisions for me in my state. Cleaning and dressing and eating (and packing to move) are all difficult. I said it before & I'll say again, I'm miserable.

Or, my letter to those who think “AI art” is better and “doesn't need so much meaningless work”.

“I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss of the feeling of wonder, of excitement, of the feeling of something that did not exist before taking form because you created it with your mind and your hands.

I'm sorry for your loss of feeling frustrated, not quite there yet.

I'm sorry for your loss of the will to grow, to learn, to can, to do and be better.

I am really sorry for your loss.”

-

Originally a reply to this post

I couldn't decide which blog was the best home for my latest post so it's on humanissome with this link stub here:

“Thanks For Sharing”

I just read something I wrote in the 90s, ostensibly to a friend but I didn't send it. Oh no, I put it online instead! Though the color combination & text style I chose was, I believe, intended to discourage readers! See, it was many years before I came out to myself, and the unsent note is addressed to a straight guy friend. We were in our early twenties! I could say a lot more some day when I have time but the basic conundrum is that this guy was drawn to hanging out with me, because I'm one of the most interesting people to talk to 🙃 and at the same time I made him uncomfortable. I am emotionally open, nearly always as much as possible, going back decades. His interest/discomfort puzzled me. In the note I reference a then-recent interview I had seen, starting by saying that I was:

thankful... that we're even able to talk about any of this at all. When Mike Leigh was on Charlie Rose, Charlie made some comment how in “Career Girls” these two old roommates meet up and talk very intensely, about serious personal matters + how Charlie thinks this works cause they're women. Or, really he said: “Women talk about things like this, and men don't. ...I find when I'm with other guys I'm talking about sports or politics.” This made me want to retch — mostly because I don't like Charlie Rose. But anyway I think, before pondering making a similar film with male characters, Mike Leigh just said, “Some men do talk like that.”

So I'm glad to be among the “some” of Mike Leigh than the “all” of Charlie Rose. Of course, that doesn't mean I feel entirely comfortable.

There's a video on YouTube titled, “Terrible Interviewer, Great Interviews” & that's how I felt about Charlie Rose always. Truly I'm not speaking in hindsight. I always felt personal dislike for Charlie Rose while avidly consuming his interviews as a rare example of intelligent conversation on tv. The exchange that I quote above pretty well explains it. For the demographics of his audience Charlie would have on a Mike Leigh. But Charlie is going to talk as if “all men are like ____,” because (as the whole world now knows) Charlie Rose is demented. His conscience clearly wasn't adequately developed, though that did not prevent his ascendence to the heights of broadcasting. Such revelations should cause a thorough reexamination of our media culture, but instead the powers that be in US society will pantomime outrage at a small number of individual failings while ensuring that current systems endure. They will stoke rumblings that changes—any progressive changes ever—are “going too far” and that stability demands regression to the mean, a state in which the powers at be remain the powers that be, minus one Charlie Rose. Even those minor penalties, of individual scoundrels chased from polite society, are only temporary. America can abide no improvement at all, for improvement implies that we weren't already perfect. Exceptionalism!

This is the day the blog has changed,
let us rejoice & be glad in it

I have not had a sale for the first few months since I set up shop, but this time I can take some responsibility for that, because I was initially not very clear about what I could provide to the audience besides my art and my update posts. It's also been a while since I spoke on this matter as well. You also may have also noticed that I don't post much art outside of the Untilted comic strip. All that is explained on my personal blog.

Regarding art business, I've done a lot of introspection and research on what specifically I want to do these past few months, because of the lack of subscriptions and interactions and mostly due to my thinking that I would be mostly passive while customers come to me. It seems that no matter where I set up shop, whether it's Mercari, Fiverr or some other marketplace even if run independently by me, I don't get much traction anywhere. There was a whole moment where, despite consistently putting up stuff on Mercari for weeks, I went a whole year without a single sale, which led to my frustration and led to me eventually deactivating my Mercari account. All this despite putting up stuff most people want to see. And I'm being regularly blamed for not being proactive enough when I just want to not have to think about how to woo people in my business, which apparently I must actively do or else I'll be treated with suspicion. But guess what? It was like this under actual employment as well. When I signed up for a temporary summer painting job at my community college, I was also being seen by my manager as “not doing my job and constantly disappearing” despite the fact that I actually was consistently painting on the areas I was assigned to the entire time, and despite me showing him. Which led to me quitting a day before the official employment term ended.

It turns out that I'm not very traditionally well-suited for any type of business or profession due to my nature and attitude towards it. And I think the main reason for this is because, going by how people promote their own products and all, from Mastodon to Pinterest, everyone HAS to be proactive and initiative at ALL times and everything HAS to be attractive and acceptable to the general public (or at least a well-defined popular demographic/audience) or else I'll be viewed with suspicion/contempt and eventually ignored in favor of more popular and marketable influencers. And I don't really like that notion. At all.

It also turns out that there are some things in the art business that I am not exactly comfortable with doing, that I've seen everywhere I go in a lot of art circles:

1. Art prints. I feel like only photography is best suited to be printable, but I don't exactly have the budget for a high-end camera (although I do have Photoshop and Lightroom, but I rarely use it) so I will probably never be able to successfully pull it off.
2. Art merchandise (like stickers, bookmarks, shirts, etc.). I do actually do my own stickers and bookmarks using my own materials and whatever else I got but I just do not like the idea of turning my art into marketable merchandise that dilutes almost all meaning my art has. It feels like I am using my art in a way that indicates that it does not deserve respect beyond being marketable and trendy.
3. Stock photos and stock illustrations. At one point I did attempt to sell stock photos with Adobe Stock, and they rejected my photograph for being low-quality and, most irritating at all, “not representing the broader human experience” as if a stock photo has to mean something beyond being used by businesses to showcase their products without actually showing the actual product. So I stopped. I'm not even sure if someone can sell stock photos beyond a marketplace, because most people are bound by marketplaces that either prohibit content with resale rights or have heavy restrictions on them anyway, and stock images are technically such content. So I will not be doing stock images.
4. Sending physical and handmade art/jewelry. I currently do not have the means or support to do so due to preservation concerns as I live in an apartment building that's not very suitable enough to preserve high-quality artwork beyond the ones that take low maintenance to preserve.
5. Anything that can be sold on Fine Art America, Etsy, Pixels, etc. due to my experience with marketplaces I just explained at the beginning.
6. Anything photography related due to the high expectations associated with it.
7. Any type of art commission that feels informal (like character base templates). Now, I have no hostility or hatred towards people who do art commissions. But a lot of the scene and their ideas feel, how do I put this in a nice way, too simplistic and informal. I do not mean to say that they are unprofessional at all, or anything overly negative like that. I am not one of those people who judge other people's career choices based on perceived professionalism and I am actually very accommodating about this stuff. However, I have a preference towards commissions that convey a higher level of seriousness and that give me something simple yet also challenging to do, while not burning me out, but also helping me learn something new at the same time. And I don't feel that certain types of art commissions meet that standard for me.
8. Any type of art commission that feels too easy to do to the extent that it can be exploited by someone who wants to rip it off and pretend they did the work themselves when they stole it from me (like profile picture commissions done in the same kind of style, “adoptables”, etc). See 7.
9. Any type of art commission that has loopholes that may violate my boundaries and could get me in trouble (e.g. non-explicit fetish art that isn't obvious to the average viewer that it's meant to be fetish art). I've had this boundary way before the whole UK Online Safety Act thing (which I technically may be bound to due to me being on a UK-based marketplace website, although my website contains no objectionable content) but I would just like to reiterate that I do not do any kind of content that may be considered harmful to vulnerable audiences, legally or not, no matter how implicit or hidden it is. Although all my art is created for a general audience and is not primarily directed at either children or adults, I do not do any kind of adult content whatsoever. This is not to judge those that do, just to set things straight.
10. Anything that requires software I may not be familiar with.
11. Texture/brush packs (because I am not familiar with them)
12. Online teaching (for obvious reasons)
13. Anything involving cryptocurrency, non-fungible tokens, and artificial intelligence due to ethical risks
14. Anything beyond my current skill level and budget.
15. Anything outside my personal taste unless I'm sure I'm comfortable with it. I do not discriminate against anyone for having an art style different from my own either.

I do like the idea of putting up membership content for people to subscribe to me and see all my content there, even if it's just for a month, which is why Untilted was initially a subscription-based thing before I realized that no one knows me well enough to want to subscribe to me. But I haven't even figured that out well yet, as I see some people put some behind the scenes art in public, and other art behind a membership paywall. As a result I am stumped as to what I want to put on my membership tiers, and I am open to ideas. I was thinking maybe I could do alternative versions of certain Untilted comics, or maybe some GIF animations.

I would really like everyone's help and input with this.

I've been posting some magick and ritual themed lyrics of mine over at the Ovro blog side, have a peek!

I I can't I can't do I can't do anything

Maybe tomorrow

The left is actually doing pretty well, considering.

It's easy to get mad at the people who vote for evil. I'm mad. I hate my fellow white people including former friends and my mom. Think about that. I hate my mom. [1]

But do we get mad at people who eat at McDonald's or only buy Crest or Colgate or shop at Home Depot or who own iPhones? Advertising works. The effects of advertising are well known or else they wouldn't exist. And Democrats raise gobs of money and put on advertisements before elections. But if a better-for-you cola runs 6 weeks of ads I don't think it's going to outsell Coke. The Democrats can't compete against a lifetime of brainwashing. All through the 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, and today, the Democratic Party has been dehumanized by a nonstop media onslaught from the right. Lefties like me laugh because the attacks are juvenile. And so are most commercials.

Ok but Black Americans exist in the same media landscape & they might buy Colgate but they're not voting for Republicans! They are reliable Democratic voters. Ok. I'm just an artist, a white man; I'm not able to speak for Black Americans. But I know this: Black people know their existence is under threat & it's never stopped being under threat. I also believe that Black Americans have a stronger network of community & family. (Above I talked about my division with my own mother. More below [2].) I doubt Black Americans vote for Democrats because of advertisements or even for specific policies. It's existential, a feeling, reinforcement of identity and community.

Remember, I'm just talking. All this is uneducated speculation. I'm an artist, not a college graduate!

---

96% of this post was written February 27, 2025, and left incomplete. “Under pressure” of my made-up weekly blog deadline, I decided to add a few finishing touches. I choose to blog about politics this week because it's a bleak time. It's depressing, yet somehow a pep talk to realize that embracing humanity is an uphill battle & always has been.

Fighting anti-humanism is my life's work. I talk about humanism a lot, an annoying amount, and I name half my internet entities humanissome. I do this because I believe that the problems in our world reflect a pervasive anti-humanism. Standing up for humanism is the ultimate fight, the effort to rescue each individual and simultaneously all humanity.

Examples of pervasive anti-humanism and humanistic attitudes to combat them:

Capitalism. Money-centered existence diminishes individuals & humanity. Center what's natural: the body (including emotions), all humans, animals, plants, the planet. Use labor and capital for the benefit of those.

open for longer discussion

Yes of course this frequent villain tops the list! To the extent that capitalism is a tool in service of humanity it can be neutral. The problem is that it's an ism and isms are systems. Capitalism has proven to be a more robust system than humanism (or communism) for 2 reasons that I can think of. It appears neutral. “Let the market decide,” we frequently hear. There's no central committee determining priorities in who gets what resources; it comes down to having money. If you have it you get things; if you have no money you can rot and die. Objectivity! Of course there is no objectivity when it comes to laws passed, military strikes, humans incarcerated and killed. The appearance of objectivity is that those who have the money (objective!) get to make all the subjective decisions. (“I'm the decider!” in the words of a former particularly powerful, undeserving leader.) The second reason that capitalism prevails is that it depends on greed, a very real, prevalent human vice. (“Greed is good!” said an 80s movie caricature who became a role model for many.) Capitalists might argue that it's a system like democracy, the worst form of Government except all those other forms that have been tried, that has produced humankind's greatest chance of peaceful prosperity. My shortest rebuttal is to ask: Do we want to defend what has gotten us to the way things are or to consider the possibility that we can do better? Incidentally genuine free and fair democracy is the best hope for humanist improvement. The US has never been close to that. This section could expand to its own essay, a book, a lifelong debate. To simplify for this discussion, capitalism is not compatible with humanism because of its numerous anti-humanist outcomes. Considering profits for the wealthy over general wellbeing is dooming humanity. This debate is the existential challenge confronting humanity. How does an individual participate in abandoning capitalism? (Or if you prefer a softer version: How does an individual help improve capitalism to achieve humanist results?) Living is Humanist Job 1. In the current world many are consumed by the struggle to stay alive. Unfortunately existence is a privilege today. I believe the requirements for satisfaction in living (meaningfulness) is proportional to privilege. Life intrinsically has meaning. For many staying alive is all that is possible, and their lives are meaningful. As one's privilege increases expectation grows. “With great power comes great responsibility.” World horrors result from the dysfunction of inordinate privilege not harnessed to commensurate service. The imbalanced selfishness erodes character and satisfaction. I believe that “the modern condition” of ennui is a reflection of unused privilege. It's important to emphasize that this evaluation of sufficient meaning is internal. It's not possible to judge from outside. There is no karmic system in humanissome. It is also impossible to know the life satisfaction felt by another unless they reveal it. We only have results to go on. It appears that those who lead lives spreading vitriol and cruelty are unhappy. In world affairs we cannot know; in personal interactions we may ask others to confide in us their self reported life satisfaction. I have received a great deal of unsolicited life advice from others who admit they are unhappy. Nobody's perfect of course. This paragraph is another that could be a book.

I leverage my privilege to extract as much progress as possible toward humanist goals. I do not commit labor to society-harming entities. I minimize consumption. I have managed to stay alive 6 years this way. My next step is to liquidate possessions as I seek greater life satisfaction, reduction in harm, and increased devotion to long-term writing goals. I offer my own work freely, requesting donations in exchange. (If I produce a book I may sell it conventionally but I would still make copies available on sliding scale.)

Perfectionism. “I'm right, they're wrong. They're idiots. What's wrong with those people? They're not like me, they're animals.” · “My mind is terrible, I can't remember anything. I'm so fat now. I was better fifteen years ago.” Ranking and judging damages self worth, deteriorates human community. Settle for less. What is is. What is is good. Diversity is good. Perfection is a delusion. Love all. Ok, now, ya hippie, how can you love all?! Equally?! I'm not concerned about equally, that's a ranking urge. I strive to live centered in love. It's not easy. It's work. I love myself and others in our imperfections. I aspire to love all unconditionally.

Minimizing Feelings. “I'm afraid of looking at certain texts, talking to certain people. I'm pathetic. Worrying makes it worse, I should just...” Hating feelings is hating oneself. Feelings are natural, beautiful, human. Instead of seeing a conflict between feelings and reason I seek peaceful coexistence. (Compossibility is an important word in my philosophy for another time.) Feelings are valid. Feelings are who I am. Reason is too. These provide data for me to consider. I can change any time. I make decisions based on feelings and reason.

There's so much more. I started a weekly blog a couple months ago to force me to write and publish constantly. The work builds. There is no perfect. I'm grateful to be working in a space that collects my efforts (corporate spaces usually throw yesterday's unpopular work away). I hope to keep going.