sometimes, much like in the mirror realm, the Doll would catch the briefest glimpse of the girl who lived in the mirror. she never stayed, usually darting away in the space of the Doll's blink, but she'd come back sometimes. there were days she'd stick around a little longer, but she was always gone by the end of the day. on those days, the Doll would study the mirror, as long as the girl would stay.

things have changed, though, since the Doll met the man at the repair shop. the girl who lives in the mirror comes to visit more often. almost every time the Doll looks, there she is. it's... strange. it's almost like the Doll could reach out and touch her.

and so she reaches.

Congrats on making it this far into the year! We've reached the letter J Any art subject starting with that letter is fair game, no matter how abstract. Letters like æ, ñ, anything with a diacritical mark, etc., can go anywhere you like.

J is for Jiji

Let's make wonderful art!

Use #ArtABCs & tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you soon!

Tuesday I spent the afternoon turning my designs into the buttons at my local library's maker space. They had the tooling and parts to make 1 inch, 2.25 inch and 3 inch buttons. The process was very straight forward, for the 3 and 2.25 inch buttons. The 1 inch buttons ended up being a bit harder since the pin has to set into the backing ring and positioned manually.

I had 3 failed buttons out of 19 made. Two were user error on my part. On one (Icon) I forgot the plate behind the design and ended up crimping the Mylar only. The other (Rubber Duck) I loaded the pin back in flipped. I was able to salvage both, but damage was visible. On one of the one inch buttons, I did not have the pin set correctly and it punched out the side.

Final Thoughts

I think the 2.25 buttons are the best size for their value, appearance, and ease of assembly. The 1 inch buttons(without the pin) would make great game pieces for Table Top games like D&D or Fishing 28. Now for the rest of the buttons.

The other Rubber Duck buttons I made on Tuesday. Been wearing one of them on my hat.

Icons from the TV Show 'Reboot'

#MakerSpace #Art #MastoArt #RubberDuck

However, I have never appreciated a work of fiction or art simply because of its stylistic classification or the conventions of its genre. What this means is I don't like a work of art just because it's abstract, or a work of fiction just because it belongs to a specific genre. So, the truth is that I don't really discriminate in terms of genres or art, but then again I don't really like just any kind of work either, even within what I'm usually drawn towards.

I don't really care whether something is abstract or realist or fantasy or science fiction. I'm not the kind of artist who feels the need to specialize in any one style or genre. I do not regard a painting as worthy of praise solely because it embraces abstraction, nor do I elevate a novel merely on the basis of its placement within some sub/microgenre's canon.

Rather, my judgment is predicated upon a work's ineffable qualities that, in a given moment, stir a genuine response within me. In a way, it's mostly about the vibe it personally gives me. And I'm more interested in giving that kind of vibe I like rather than based on an existing category.

Our modern world is category-based. It doesn't care that I just like something based on the way it looks or the way it makes me feel. All it cares about is sorting things through labels that furnish convenience for marketers, reviewers, and the reading public alike. It gets to a point where it can be reductive.

Contemporary literary fiction, for instance, is often distilled into a series of marketable signifiers. Everything has to have a description that best fits a specific category. Like, oh, this book contains a dragon-fighting knight warrior as a main character, when he only does that in one minor scene. Or something generic like “enemies-to-lovers”, when the actual couple's dynamic is just playful fighting at first, not actual enemy-like fighting. Such brief descriptions, however convenient, risk eclipsing the real depth and merit of the work itself.

My own comic strip is not an exercise in demographic engineering. I've got no desire in tailoring my creations to satisfy a narrowly defined audience. My aspiration is more modest, albeit no less earnest: to make something that engages the widest possible readership while remaining true to the aesthetic and emotional standards that satisfy my own sensibilities.

While I seldom ever eschew a work of art for failing to adhere to a prescribed category, I also do not get excited over every piece that happens to occupy the abstract niche, or whatever broader category it belongs to that I'm fascinated with at the moment. The vast majority of artistic works I encounter evoke a state of indifference – neither ecstatic nor dismissive, simply neutral. Periodically, however, something will pierce that veil of neutrality, resonating with a depth that feels both intimate and unexpected. Such moments are rare, cherished, and emblematic of the selective emotional connectivity that guides my appreciation.

For the most part, I would like to take a stance that distinguishes my genuine engagement from the performative “support artists” posturing rampant on social media platforms. Although I do want to raise up underappreciated and marginalized artists, I do not aspire to curate a feed of trending artworks or to amass a repertoire of superficially boosted art posts on Mastodon. My preferences, as oddly specific as they may appear to the average onlooker, are rooted in a sincere reverence for the particularities that render art truly affecting, be it digital, traditional, or hybrid.

For many years, digital art has been viewed with both fascination and skepticism, with the former seeing its potential in making art accessible, and the latter being mostly concerns such as “it's the computer doing the work for humans, not the humans themselves” and many others like it. Now, with the rise of things like artificial intelligence, it's threatened to delegitimize the digital art world in every way, as even the most powerful large language model can put out something at least passable (though still full of errors), and there have been a lot of digital artists, game developers, and other kinds of creatives that have been caught using AI to make their work, while others have only been accused of it.

It's a very hard time for those digital artists who refuse to use AI but have been accused of it anyway. I personally haven't been accused as I'm anti-AI myself and don't get much feedback on my art due to weak popularity, but I've seen it happen to mostly popular digital artists that work with fandom stuff and anime art. I'm also seeing a lot of generative artists that don't use any AI and/or LLMs at all often get misunderstood for what they do. If some people get rightfully found out and caught, then I have no complaints about that and only hope they will genuinely improve. But the new future, the way it's been going and hurting all artists, it just worries me.

All that aside, I would like to talk about my artistic process when it comes to Untilted nowadays and my newer art in general. I have an archive of old photographs taken by my family on their external drives, as well as photographs I've taken during school, and so what I've been doing is that I use Krita to modify the photo a bit, maybe zoom in a specific part, and then just put a bunch of similar photos with similar modifications on top of each other with various different effects like Addition and NOR and Saturation (you'd understand if you use Krita yourself). Then I either give it some kind of paint filter or use the brushes themselves to give it a painterly effect. Sometimes I blur the rough pixelated spots a bit, but other times I don't and leave it as is. Lastly, I add whatever text I feel like adding. All this done with my own images and no AI.

So, what exactly is Untilted's genre? Well, in practical terms, it would be a kind of experimental, almost psychological (without the thriller or horror), gag-a-day comic strip. It shares the same plotless and randomly comedic structure but instead of the comic being mainly comedic, it encompasses many kinds of moods and experiments with many kinds of mediums, drawing styles, and more. Something that many comic strips I've read don't really do that much.

I will dress myself in warning signs, Put a red light flashing, Have my colours scream poison, Declare myself a hazard zone.

To keep you unharmed by My deadly mind My tongue and my touch The venom in me...

Still, I call you: Meet me at the gates of the gardens of heaven I'll take you to see the Void.

Hear, I dare you: Meet me at the gates, I'll keep them unlocked your free ride to Null is here.

–+-

Third version. The prediction has been ditched, some lines added from ideas in the first version. This time the “you” isn't left to wait at the gates.

This is going somewhere.

#WritingInProgress #Lyrics #Poetry #DarkAmbient

Congrats on making it this far into the year! We've reached the letter I Any art subject starting with that letter is fair game, no matter how abstract. Letters like æ, ñ, anything with a diacritical mark, etc., can go anywhere you like.

I is for Irresistible

Let's make wonderful art!

Use #ArtABCs & tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you soon!

This is a mildly edited version of the scolds bridle essay which was posted last year.

When I see the vitriol directed at women and other marginalised folks online I'm often reminded of the scold's bridle.

There's a push and pull between those who want smaller communities and those who want to “Facilitate Network Discovery”. You've a lot of marginalised folks on the Fediverse, LGBTQ+ folks, Women, BIPOC, disabled folks. There's complexity in our communities and reasons why some folks want to organise in the open, but don't necessarily want to be searched for.

But as usual, backlash happens, and hurt white feelings abound. Somehow the community who never asked to be collated get called out as the hysterical folks who just need to shut up.

It's the need to shame the shamers because you felt scolded. We harshed your buzz and goodness, don't you just want to make us pay for it so we never do it again.

But let's address just why there's a backlash against any push back about lack of consent in our applications. White Supremacy is fearful of rage when it doesn't come from a cis white man.

What is the Scolds Bridle?

It was a form of punishment mainly of outspoken women or gossips or Scolds. It was an iron cage with a spiked bit that would pierce your tongue if you tried to speak. The scold would wear the bridle for an amount of time, often being led around the area. It was a painful, humiliating punishment. [2]

Scolds weren't the only folks punished, it was used against Quakers preaching as well. So let's be clear on this. The Branks as they were also known were used to subjugate women. To shame them and be an example to others to not speak up. A violent state punishment to protect the status quo.

Feminine Rage

Why did such a thing as the branks exist? Why do men feel the need to reply guy back to women explaining the world and the experience they live in? Why do we have Christofacism hand in hand with Trump in the Whitehouse? Why is there such a need to undo progress?

Why is there such a push towards restricting our places of assembly online? Why is there a need to reply back with technical critique rather than engaging with the very real danger we face online? Where's the empathy guys? To be clear it is the men I'm addressing here.

Why do Men feel the need to punch down on those who state their boundaries? Why is there the need to mansplain to folks on the internet? Specifically the femme presenting folks? Are you sure we don't understand?

Why are women harassed while men accuse us of witchhunts?

The thing that I note is that it is very often white cis men who do these things. When people push back, there are a lot of hurt feelings. There are accusations of harassment.

Every accusation is a confession.

Men are scared of feminine rage. They fear the scolding. Not just because their feelings of doing something bad may make them feel bad. There's some misogyny to work on there. There's some racism to work on. There's homophobia to work on. This is our socialisation to uphold White Supremacy.

As a cis woman, I've been socialised to keep my rage in. To be nice. To provide feedback nicely. To ask nicely and to advise nicely. I hold in my rage. It's a rather tenuous thread at this point. I'm not sure what would happen if it snapped.

I find it very hard nowadays to keep that rage in, every time I see another scraper, or pulling from the firehose tool. Sometimes it's physically painful to keep the scream of anger and tears in. But I do. My iron branks are mental, my socialisation. I know to scream out will hurt my career. There's the spike in my tongue and the spike pierces in so much further for others. The consequences for speaking out would be so much worse for some folks in our spaces.

I find it hard to keep my rage in every time we point out that we'd like to opt in for people reusing our posts. Or to have my phone not try to send back my metadata to a centralised point.

When I express mild annoyance, I get the odd patronising reply guy message. “Well that's the way the world works, Honey, Don't you worry your purty little head about it. Now just shut up and take it.”

As you ask for us to be forgiving like Mummy and your friends pat you on the back because we were so mean. As your fellow developers and fanboys talk as if we had torn you apart.

Feminine anger is seen as unnatural, monstrous. You feel we're been unduly harsh. Meanwhile we're just meant to excuse your outburst, your aggressive reply. The behind the scenes manipulation and aggression.

Dude. There's a reason lots of us push back. Very often we're not even angry. It's not rage. However it all piles up and at some point we will snap.

You see our push back to boundary and trust violations as rage. Sometimes you ignore a call in, keep violating peoples trust. When eventually enough of our community compare notes and finally from exasperation push back it's considered Cancel Culture or a purity spiral.

You put the Scold's Bridle on us. Accuse us of lies, of perpetuating malicious allegations. We're accused of a witch hunt as you put us on the pyre.

Vulnerable marginalised communities are very wary of being in public. We share notes, gather information for our safety and it's characterised by abusers as conspiracy against an upstanding Developer or Leader. When we whistle-blow the blow-back on our careers, our allowance into community spaces shows others it's best to keep quiet. We know if we whistle-blow, call out abuse in the open we are risking violence against ourselves. We know our careers are toast.

At that point it's often easier to leave a community. Even when it's something we love. Because very often the “popular” abuser is a missing stair.[3] But the work that abuser does is considered vital to the community. This is a problem in many communities, not just FOSS, not just tech. It's systemic in our societies.

So we keep quiet. The abuse continues and we offer quiet support. Knowing we are complicit in our silence.

We all have stories of abuse in FOSS, we'll never tell those stories in public. We fear our reputations being put on the pyre.

Ask us first!

So we do get annoyed when our work, our thoughts are ingested to be indexed by google. Even if they are public.

We claw our way out of the pit of our backgrounds, into the light to live, to exist, to organise. Sometimes our communities were taken away from us. We were pushed out or had to leave for our safety. We rebuild in new spaces.

Then you lot decide to take a bunch of our public posts without our permission, you don't seem to understand we'd like some control over where our public posts go. Who we want to work with. [1]

The flippant answer of “duh just don't post,” is shallow. It's exclusionary. It shows how little danger you've had to face. How little abuse. How much you've bought into rape culture rather than consent culture. Silicon Valley is very much the result of White supremacy. The meritocracy is a myth. We're reaping the political consequences of believing that lie right now. Meanwhile, you witter on about your hurt feelings and how harsh that criticism was.

Girls. It's utterly feminine to feel that rage, that incandescence. It's feminine to want to lift that baseball bat and smash. I'm the last person to police what counts as feminine. You define what is feminine. If you want to wear Jeans, a flannel and docs, that's feminine. If you tell me you're a woman, you are. Those jeans and a flanny are extremely comfy and practical. You need good boots to walk in. Or you can wear platforms. You define your femininity. No one else should.

It's feminine to say no emphatically. It's feminine to be extremely clear on where your boundaries are and to enforce those boundaries.

And so we continue ad-nauseum.

The pushback against the opt-in, that need to reply-guy back comes from the same desire that the branks came from.

To shut up the marginalised. To humiliate them, to scold them back into compliance.

It's the desire by others to perpetuate the harassment that Folks face on the Fediverse for stating their boundaries loudly and clearly. To hide and re-frame the issues of harassment marginalised folks face. We're interfering with the Fediverse Utopia by stating our boundaries.

But I should be fair because the devs aren't the only tech folks scolding the marginalised for requesting that their human rights be respected. You only have to look at the debate around alt text and see some high-profile accounts call folks “Scolds” when all they asked for was some alt text for a screenshot.

Sometimes I suspect that if the branks were around today, some of you would be the first folks to put it over my head. To slide the bit in, to tug on the bridle and break teeth. You'd take pleasure from me not being able to speak. To express my rage.

So yes, this is a scold.

The Internet form of the Scolds Bridle is politeness, it is tone policing. It is the threat of doxing and violence. It's the anonymous message threatening legal action. The violence of the status quo online.

For the same reasons, we disrupt the idea of the status quo. No one likes to be told they are harming others. [11]

FOSS still causing harm

We don't like the idea that we perpetuate harm, particularly in FOSS.

I'm tired that we have to protect our safety and justify our existence in public. I'm so tired of the fact that LGBTQ+ and BIPOC folk have to hold in that rage. Even if on occasion we do want to tear it all down. So we leave and we don't take part in your community. We form our own spaces. When we work together and make those spaces ours, we enforce our boundaries. So we get criticism, when we exclude people who share harmful ideologies and when called out on it, shout how they are being abused. It's unfair! How dare we enforce our boundaries! How dare we call out your violent language!

Here's the thing. Language evolves within communities. Sometimes it makes it way out into the mainstream. When issues happen to break apart groups, it's not particularly a feature of the left or the right. To frame breakdowns in community as a purity spiral is disingenuous. Breakdowns in community happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes because it is the abuser in progressive clothing. Moving from community to community hoping we never compare notes.

So we see the same story play out at scale even here on the Fediverse. The purveyors of the abusive algorithmic walled garden are here. Our own Developers are welcoming them in. Because we must have Context Collapse 3.0. Some of our Developers seem want to get in on the gold rush that they missed out on with Web 2.0. So the welcome mat rolls out. We have threads and build bridges that ignore our consent. We have our projects being invaded by the latest bro fad.

I want something new. I want hope. I want consent and freedom of association built in.

I'm so tired and angry that our human rights of free association in safety are ignored.

I'm so tired of the rapey vibes I get from developers who would prefer us to opt out rather than consider building the opt-in. It's not that hard. It's what just my toots do. You look at my mastodon profile you see a link to just my toots. Which I opted into.

Why is it so hard for some folks to get the concept of consent? Why do we keep having to do this? Holding in my rage is tiring. So I try to direct it, to use my rage at the world and to speak up for others if they haven't the energy at the moment to do so themselves. This post isn't my first scolding and nor will it be my last. [5 to 8]

If you're a guy and you're wondering what to do? Take a look at the culture around us. When you see your friends doing the reply guy thing? Call it out.

Keep calling out predatory behaviour, whether it's apps or real life. I know they are your friends, but if you're scared of losing their regard. They aren't your friends. You're their fanboy.

If you don't see what's wrong with their behaviour but you're feeling a bit attacked right now? Be brave, step back. Take a breath and listen to what folks are saying rather than reacting. Don't try to point us at the technical information. Some of us do understand the technology. We're asking you to consider the human aspect. The very real dangers many of us face, it's not something to be poo-poohed. You need to expand your experience, you need to listen to the folks at the sharp edges.

We are at a stage in history where we need to band together and I want to work with people who don't want to bridle me but to work with me.

Be braver. It's braver to take the hit to your idea of yourself, rather than punching down on the vulnerable.

Further reading

[1] https://cathode.church/fedi-scraper-counter.html

[2] https://allthatsinteresting.com/scolds-bridle

[3] https://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/06/missing-stair.html

[4] https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v36/n06/mary-beard/the-public-voice-of-women

[5] Ignoring Boundaries https://www.onepict.com/20230906-boundaries.html

[6] Consent and the Fediverse https://www.onepict.com/consent-fediverse20230627.html

[7] Consent and the Fediverse part 2 https://www.onepict.com/consentpartdeux20240215.html

[8] On Bears https://www.onepict.com/20240506-bear.html

[9] UN report on STEM. https://news.un.org/en/story/2025/02/1160041

[10] https://www.tastesofhistory.co.uk/post/about-history-the-scold-s-bridle

[11] https://youtu.be/BxQ15OEEuLM?si=30KIw8qWQpp5d797
Polite Women Are Not Safe – Parkrose Permaculture

That's not true, I did not realise it's full meaning until my late teens. As a woman who's nearing her fifties, the meaning becomes more loaded as I look around the world we have.

Greek gods went around ravishing folks. Sometimes they were defined as affairs. Consent wasn't really a concept.

The Greek myths after all, were collected up by Empire and compiled. We translated the translations. We added our own interpretations to a culture that when we started writing stuff down was already patriarchal. The original meaning and true history got distorted.

It filters down to a joke sequence in the Marvel movie Thor: The dark world.

“You look ravishing” says Loki as he casts an illusion on Thor so that he looks like Sif.

It's a clanger of a joke when you consider the meaning of ravish. The casual way we use language, clangs for many of us. As if looking rape-able is a compliment.

“What were you wearing?” We ask victims of sexual assault.

This is rape culture and we're deep into it. From Zeus taking his sister wife Hera, to the Manosphere. Women and femme folks are objectified. Androgynous folks are objectified. If you're not white, you are objectified. We aren't seen as human, merely objects to have power over.

Which is what this is always about.

Power.

Men get violent when we question their right to exercise power. They need to barge in and lash out when we say no.

When Zeus went around ravishing goddesses, nymphs and humans, this was about explaining how local gods, heroes and heroines fit into the dominant culture. Even this lens of interpretation is through our own lens of empire. The colonisation and homogenisation of culture. Forced into the box of white comfort, to be appropriated at will.

Organisations have a memory, and they shape humanity. We are so easily moulded.

When I read about Echo, it was a tale about a Nymph who was punished to repeat the last word other folks said.

Hera did it to Echo, because she'd helped Zeus with another of his “affairs”. As if a Nymph or any object of Zeus attention had a choice. When you're a child you accept the framing. You ignore Hera demanding that Echo should have acknowledged her power. Betrayed the King of the Gods. As if that's a choice Echo could choose. To defy power.

Hera, the goddess of Marriage framed as a Karen.

Meanwhile Echo fell in love with Narcissus, forced to echo back what he said, while he was cursed to fall in love with his reflection. Nymph and human wasting away. A dark reflection indeed.

This is the Patriarchy. Stealing power and ravishing us. Accusing us of being the scold, and refusing to acknowledge the harm they do. Then framing that harm as being our fault. We had it coming.

Forced to echo back Men's opinions, to be docile, polite.

If we smiled more we'd find a man.

How dare we have power? How dare we be happy? How dare we not rely on them for our happiness? How dare we prefer independence?

It's only as an adult you start to question the framing of it. Some of us never get the chance to start questioning. The Patriarchy trapped us all. It harms us all.

Tech and Power

As I've said elsewhere our political stances frame how we create our code. We cannot separate code from our politics. Our political beliefs inform our designs. How we solve a problem. How we see a problem to be solved.

Our humanity and communities inform the software that we want to use, how we communicate.

So when we hear technologists throwing around the words “Echo chamber” we should be concerned.

Last week a member of the Mastodon advisory board Scott Jenson posted a screenshot of a tech influencer's post on Bluesky and asked if Mastodon is becoming an echo chamber. He then proceeded to equate folks being unwelcome of AI enthusiasts to be the same as the existing issues we have on the Fediverse and the racism of some of our communities on the Fediverse. There was then a lot of DARVO and gaslighting. Folks weren't amused, there was discussion and many of us didn't do it in Jenson's replies. We know that is not a safe space for us.

Folks on the Fediverse are highly technical. A lot of us know what Machine Learning is. We studied it and some of us still work in the space . We know that AI, specifically LLMs is grifting hype now. Any true use of this technology is drowned out by the grifters. We will be cleaning up the mess in our projects for decades. So folks on here aren't polite.

We weren't particularly happy with the Blockchain or NFT grifter bros either.

We see the harms that LLMs are doing around us. As our columnists and politicians grasp for attention like Narcissus looking at his reflection. Allowing the LLM to reflect back our own narcissism and opinions back at us for a price.

We see the harm that LLMs and Diffusion are doing to our communities. As Milliardaires hoard our computing hardware and then welch on their deals. Personal computing is in danger of being out of the grasp of the general population.

So no. AI bro's are not welcome here.

The Fediverse is a very queer driven set of interconnected spaces. Mastodon just happens to be the most commonly used software to put your instance of like-minded folks on. The Fediverse is more than Mastodon.

Encoding Human Rights

The Fediverse encodes two very important human rights. Freedom of Expression and Freedom of Association. Freedom of Association is the most important one.

Article 20

Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association. No one may be compelled to belong to an association.

Universal Declaration of Human Rights

When instances defederate they are exercising the second part of Freedom of Association.

No one may be compelled to belong to an association.

This is what the Free Speech bro's want to attack when folks are very clear at pointing out that some ideologies, or technologies aren't welcome.

We criticise and we aren't nice when we do this. We won't be polite. We know that if we give an inch, Fascists will take a mile. Tech and Fascism have a long history together. We'd like to try something different.

So I don't think this echo chamber is a bad thing. I mean there are those who want the Fediverse to scale, they want it to be as big as Facebook. But there are just as many who don't think that's a good idea. I don't for one.

Some of us helped to build the internet and we can see the harms we helped to cause.

We will not help you steal others work, or enable genocides by using the companies that provide the infrastructure for governments to do harms to their peoples. We won't be polite to the people that allow the sloppy auto correct to cause extra work in an already overloaded technical community.

We will judge you. Which is what you fear really. Being an outcast and not being welcome in our spaces. The spaces we had to build for our safety.

You're not welcome here. You have plenty of other spaces online to peddle this. Leave our spaces alone.

There's a difference between ostracisation and persecution. But the tech bros sure do seem to love claiming that when we ostracise and mock them, they feel scared. But then men do become dangerous when we mock them. They push on, they gaslight us. They ask us to be “reasonable”

I'm not reasonable. I took off my bridle a long time ago.

Walk a mile in my shoes buddy. Go back to your own echo chamber.

We're the echo that's left and we don't want to reflect your narcissism.

Leave me and mine alone. We are ostracising you, you aren't welcome here. We reject you and your values they are incompatible with our values.

Take the hint.

If you destroy our spaces, we will recreate our communities and find our folks again. We have that right of Freedom of Association.

We will rebuild the internet that you broke.

Well, it was broken from the beginning really. It was never designed with consent and privacy in the first place.

Perhaps this time we can rebuild our internet with those rights in mind. With networks that have the consent built in.

Congrats on making it this far into the year! We've reached the letter H Any art subject starting with that letter is fair game, no matter how abstract. Letters like æ, ñ, anything with a diacritical mark, etc., can go anywhere you like.

H is for Hoopy: a really together guy

Let's make wonderful art!

Use #ArtABCs & tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you soon!

2

Yearned and deadly is Love. Drives to, from and mad. But still... still... is yearned.

3

I've seen Death, Beautiful, waiting, Cruel, loving and caring, With all the time in the world.

#Lyrics #Poetry

But, I also wanted my webcomic to focus less on the plot-heavy “relatable” drama that is so prominent in every well-known story on the subject, and just focus more on the whole random meaninglessness of it all. Now, obviously the decision to make it a no-plot genreless thing in a world of people that expect consistent and anchored stories with the usual tropes in them will garner mixed and often negative results, especially when it comes to building an audience these days. The common criticisms are: who is this story for, who will like this, what is the purpose of this story if it doesn’t seem to have a clear purpose?

On the other hand, I have found that I tend to be more motivated and do better when there is no complicated arc to think about because there is more room for creative freedom and I don’t feel constrained by a bunch of plot devices and other details to think too deeply about. So I don’t feel that Untilted’s narrative structure is the big issue that I’m struggling with here.

Since the start of the 2026 year, I’ve been finding it increasingly harder to translate my experiences into a narrative form, even a purely visual and abstract one. You see, I have discovered some personal revelations about myself that I feel are a bit too sensitive to talk about here, but for honesty purposes I will try to explain in a way that doesn’t make me feel too exposed. In order to do this I will talk in mostly obscurities, but not so much that it seems like I’m vaguely referencing people, because I’m not having any issues with anyone right now and I haven’t been having them for a while.

Generally, I clean up (i.e. delete) some old and half-baked stuff in order to reflect new content, but I’ve noticed that I may also delete stuff even outside of Untilted for different reasons. For example, I have had to delete a personal blog post I made about my challenges with emotional regulation, because, when I tried to expand on some of the points I was trying to make about how nothing really helped me even when it seemed that way, I realized that no matter how differently I tried to approach it, I kept hitting a nerve within myself. Like I haven’t processed things sufficiently yet for me to talk about it more openly.

This does not mean that I’m hiding things on purpose or deleting them just because I’m worried about what other people think, but rather; it began to feel less like I was telling a more honest and coherent story and more like I was building a case against something in order to defend myself against a common stereotype. It felt like I was just proving myself against a perceived opposition that:

1. I’m not just a “landmine” type (apparently that’s the new trendy term they’re using now?),
2. I don’t have or at least neatly fit in certain mental health diagnoses that others who may or may not be professionals may ascribe to me without my consent, and that
3. I’ve been more stable lately, honest to God.

This isn’t about what other people think in the pure sense, but rather, it was more about me myself and I specifically becoming increasingly burnt out about feeling like I have to build a case that shows I’m “one of the better ones” who stay out of trouble. So I ended up deleting that post because I felt that this was a personal thing of mine that really didn’t need to be shared, and therefore my own responsibility to deal with it myself.

Not because of any stigma. Not because of any feared pushback. But because I became tired of building cases.

In addition, the reason I haven’t been consistently or efficiently updating things for the past few months is because I’ve been experiencing a resurgence of old interests, old thoughts, old desires that I thought I had gotten over by now. I’m not just casually remembering old stuff with basic nostalgia. There’s something significant about these old things coming back that’s been distracting me from my usual work, that’s been keeping me awake, etc.

The fact that I’m not entirely sure whether I’ve been suppressing it all this time, or whether I just haven’t been paying attention to the obvious signs, means that I haven’t really been fully in touch with what I know about myself and what I really want.

It doesn’t help matters that some of my feelings are being made amplified by some of the things that have been going on in the world today, the things I’ve been looking up related to them, the connections I’ve been making between what’s happening and what I’m feeling personally - well, it’s just all been so… weird.

But I think what disorients me about it the most is that I’ve noticed a strong emotional component that wasn’t there before. Most times, when I like something I’m usually just mildly interested in it or just casually like it. But in this particular case, it’s been getting more sentimental, as I've been discovering some old things that I thought I just casually liked but realized that I deeply loved all along, and I've been discovering some new things I never knew or acknowledged before. To the point where I sometimes find myself lying in bed crying about it.

It’s not like I’m considering giving up the whole Untilted thing. I’m still sticking to it; it does speak to me still. However, there’s just been a kind of moment where the most overlooked parts of myself have been demanding my attention, and I have reached a point where I can’t just ignore them anymore.

A lot about Untilted is based off of my experiences, and I usually have no problem with communicating them in the form of the most typical fun gags or some sort of deep, semi-cryptic message for the audience to gauge (I don’t really embed any subliminal or hidden messaging in my comics, I’m not very good at it). But I’ve been having a hard time doing that precisely because of how personal some of my experiences are - sometimes way too personal to the extent that I’m not able to put things in coherent words or even images, relatable or not. That or I haven’t processed things sufficiently.

Am I running out of ideas? Not really. It’s more like I’ve been having trouble executing them.

Congrats on making it this far into the year! We've reached the letter G Any art subject starting with that letter is fair game, no matter how abstract. Letters like æ, ñ, anything with a diacritical mark, etc., can go anywhere you like.

G is for Giant Anteater

Let's make terrific art!

Use #ArtABCs & tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you soon!

At 18 I was told “You're gonna break hearts and not even know it, You are going to break hearts and not even notice”

Meet me at the gates of the gardens of heaven I'll take you to see the void

Meet me at the gates, I'll leave them unlocked Just be there, be there and wait

Documenting an ongoing process of lyric writing. First version just below this one in blog view.

The prediction (which was actually said to me) doesn't that well fit here. We'll see if it sticks or gets thrown out.

#poetry #lyrics

Congrats on making it this far into the year! We've reached the letter F Any art subject starting with that letter is fair game, no matter how abstract. Letters like æ, ñ, anything with a diacritical mark, etc., can go anywhere you like.

F is for Fox

Let's make terrific art!

Use #ArtABCs & tag me @KarinWanderer so I see it!

Pick your social & post your art! Mastodon Bluesky

All art styles & skill levels are welcome- No AI, Yes alt text, CW as needed. Have a fantastic day, draw something for my art challenge, see you soon!

searching for something to hold onto, anything, the Doll goes to the place where they met... only to find it torn down, and the barest foundations of something new in its place. she thought she had longer, and she'd started a new project... so the Doll goes to find the Witch's other places and it finds... well, it finds what was clearly her private chambers. and on every wall, huge artworks and photographs of the Witch, radiant as ever.

and then the Doll stops dead, instantly crushed under an unbearable weight. there it is, in the background of one of the photos. the Doll and the Witch, together. even in death.

rest well, Lils.

It's not always caused by Big Tech, sometimes it's our governments after they've been lobbied by Big Tech.

Prisoners of our own Nostalgia

Now I wish to be clear. I and my project Librecast are very much against age gating. So much so, that we stopped using Matrix.org because it and it's flagship Homeserver are domiciled in the UK. The online harms act has caused many UK sites to shutter, and other sites to block access to UK users. This is a digital rights issue.

This is also a privacy issue, which was always there in our walled gardens of Web 2.0, our bounded realms where what you put online could be packaged up and sold later. Which wasn't just your messages it was your digital footprints.

Discord already had an age verification leak of user data, so folks were feeling nervous. Those of us who advocated against Discord, may be feeling vindicated. But there is no way for us to be able to provide everything that the folks who used Discord used to manage their Communities.

So do we give up?

NO. Of course we don't give up.

But there's some thinking and reflection that we all need to do.

We shape our reality and our reality shapes us

Shadow memory

When I was a child my parents split up and my mother chose to leave my childhood town to move nine miles away. I was uprooted quite rudely from my community of friends and activities. I felt I moved to the chilly hinterland on the coast. North Coasts in Scotland tend to be chilly. The wind blows into your bones.

So every weekend when my Dad visited, we'd go to my former town. Have a coffee wander around and grieve. We did this for years. I didn't see my friends, but it was a place of comfort for nine year old me, walking on the high street.

Eventually I got a new start and built a new group and home in the big city when I chose to live with my Dad. It was very different. But the new circumstances helped me to heal.

I've moved cities since then, and even Aberdeen the city I love, doesn't feel like home anymore. It changed while I moved, and when you haven't been in a place to see the changes, you realise your home isn't there anymore. Your community has moved on. Had kids, made new friends.

I'd say I grieve this. But my childhood was an early lesson on how your place in a community is a moment in time. You can never go back there. Your rosy memories of the past and the connections you made will stay there in the past.

You will never experience that particular perfection again. The connections will move on. Perhaps you will meet folks again and reminisce. But it won't be the same.

So take the time to grieve this. Then be ready, for you can experience new connections and make new memories. You can build new ways for your communities to organise and be together, and I don't mean coding.

Nostalgia

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. L.P. Hartley The Go-Between_ (1953)

My formative years as an adult, were tied into University and competing in University Fencing. When I wasn't learning about Maths and Computer Engineering, I was training. I learned I loved Epee. I got team medals and a couple of Individual medals. I was a Vice President, and then a President of my University Fencing club. I competed with my team and qualified for British Universities Student Athletics. I earned my half and my full blue.

After University Finished, I did a few more years and met my partner at a fencing party.

I was hooked into a multi-city, multi club community. It was complicated and brilliant. I helped to setup and organise a local community competition.

As time went on work took precedence. We moved cities twice. We didn't fence as often, some clubs closed and some of the fencers like us, had work and other commitments.

The community changed, and the fencers that were left joined other clubs. My university class graduated and left the city.

Things change. That point in time with those intense friendships and connections fray to a thin thread of acquaintance. Some folks do grieve. I'd had this grief as a child. I learned to move on. It was a good lesson for me to learn in the early two thousands as I started to find others on the web.

Dot com blues

We had a plethora of websites that young folks and some adults joined. Not all of us grew up on Usenet or a BB board. Suddenly there was a riot of graphics and music auto playing on MySpace, or large comment parties on LiveJournal. I couldn't tell you what Bebo was as I bounced off it, my sibling loved it. Folks created Fansites on Geocities for bands or their favourite movies and shared their love, bootlegs and screenshots of their faves.

The Internet of our corporate Fae is rather bland compared to those early days.

Folks were used to having different accounts on different types of networks. It was rather scary for the unwary, on places like ICQ. Especially if you were femme presenting.

Gradually those sites were bought, stifled and retired out of sight. The communities scattered. The digital diasporas looked for a new home. We all chose differently, but sometimes we saw each other as we tried other networks.

Each time it happened I adjusted, found a new place to go. But I am of the first generation of the Web, We were used to new ideas, new interfaces. We knew that folks had different ideas of what a community was.

Our coders created software according to what they and their friends thought were cool. Folks came on and started to use it. The software evolved, partially shaped by the community, but the way the software was designed it shaped community interactions and workflows.

While Web 2.0 sought to keep you trapped, there's a point where folks decide to leave. It's hard to leave the spot where your friends and family post news. It's hard to leave the spot where your community groups organise. Sometimes you stay in a place longer than you should despite the fact everything is crumbling around you. On average mine is eighteen years. Nostalgia creates inertia, it keeps you imprisoned until you break your own bonds.

We're seeing the result of misplaced nostalgia in our walled gardens, in our communications and in our politics. There's a point in time when you put away childish things.

The walled gardens arrested our development in the same way my need to walk my old villages streets arrested mine. I was in an unhappy limbo. As a child I couldn't do much about it.

We are adults now. We can learn, we can grow. We can make new connections and sometimes some of our old connections come along with us.

We don't have the answer for an alternative to Discord yet. But at some point Discord also wasn't the answer to something else for a community. It hasn't been built yet. It certainly wont be built if you don't give the Discord community time to grieve and try out things so that they can say what would be better.

We all need to leave the shadow lands of our memory. They were a place in time. We can learn from them, but we should not let nostalgia dictate that these new spaces should be exactly the same. It's the chance for something new.

We need to build new places for our communities.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I'll begin.

One upon a time in the online realm a cis white man did a controversy. That man then blamed the purity culture within his community.

More controversy kicked off, and the man doubled down on “Purity Culture”. Other's came in defence of the person and repeated that it was “Purity Culture”. Some folks were happy to accuse the left of fermenting discord. Of tearing the great man down.

To be clear I'm not referring to any specific incident here, that's not what this post is about. Although I'm very sure someone's come to mind. There's always someone.

Much like our fairy tales and folklore, there are variants on this story.

Sometimes the person kicks off the controversy referring to those nasty leftists openly. Sometimes it's a general reference to Purity Cultures or Purity Spirals. Sometimes someone finds out about the person doing abuse and raises the alarm. Sometimes it's not a cis white man.

Harassment can happen, the fans of the person rush in to defend them, or whatever disappointing thing the personality is defending. There are reply guys.

Some folks who know the personality hope that it's an aberration and perhaps they can be called in.

You get the idea.

On Spirals

This is a pattern I'm seeing happen again and again.

I keep seeing a libertarian pipeline, it starts where we lift someone up (usually someone who already had a lot of privilege), they manage to shit post and argue their way to popularity. We're very good at that on the internet, we've managed to create an adversarial space in a medium that was meant for sharing information. It's the market place of ideas after all.

They may write some books, create a massively used project, get into policy spaces. At the point they have enough power they decide they are so important. If you are against them, it's tall poppy syndrome or the Purity Culture of the left. “The bitches are out to get me”. Pick your poison, but the fairytale is always the same.

They are cancelled they say, as they appear on various podcasts or talk to authors about that time they dropped the mask. Some folks are a bit shocked, but some of us in the silence of the aftermath start to compare notes.

In the meantime, this person isn't really cancelled because cancel culture doesn't exist either. There will always be people willing to platform, support and patronise someone who is “cancelled”. There's always a talk circuit. There's always fans willing to pay for your work. There's a point in time where they've made it.

I've seen this happen in the past decade a few times online, I've experienced the surprise in person.

Folks, there is no such thing as a purity culture or purity spiral in the left. What you're seeing is the fallout from abuse in community spaces. It's just easier to tell the fairytale of the left not cooperating, rather than examine toxic individuals. Or folks leaving for their safety. Get a community started, at some point in time you will have abusers, or agent provocateurs, or well, people who start to form a cult of personality around them.

But it is easier as a centrist to ask everyone to just get along and follow behind this person. Get behind the banners, get behind the slogan. Which plays into the right wing, because the right wing are very good at lying to centrists and each other.

“Eyes on the prize folks”, you think smugly, as you dismiss leftists. No wonder we can't get anything done if we keep judging people. “You're so judgy on the left, why can you not just follow the banners? It's a purity spiral” you think, the left can't help itself.

So you bury the unease. Bury the niggle. Give chance after chance after chance, after chance behind the scenes. Vulnerable folks, or those of us who've seen this before break off. Start or find another group. Because it's not safe, Or because we know that we can't follow in that direction .

So the personality grows in power and influence. There's no dissension and no one now, to rugby tackle away the means of communication from them. To go, “hang on. Perhaps you want to rephrase that.” Or “perhaps you don't want to argue with people for several days on the internet. Go outside for a walk now and calm down.” They are filled up on Power and Hype, on yes men, who uncritically think that we must follow that banner. We grow that power by reading what they write, sharing their ideas. We open doors to get them to talk to our governments.

Then the controversy happens and those of us that left don't feel victory. We feel tired and start to pick up the pieces of community. We know the call in will be pointless, there will be more incidents like this. We know the personality isn't an ally anymore, and perhaps they never really were.

Can we stop this spiral

I'm so tired of this. Aren't you tired?

Aren't you tired of giving these powerful folks the benefit of the doubt, even as they defend folks like Minsky? Or do they just do good work? Does your favourite matter more than hearing from other points of view? From other backgrounds?

Do we keep having to repeat this spiral, the real spiral. It's not a purity spiral at all. It's bigging up people who confirm what we think, who explain it in a clever comfortable way.

It's the spiral of choosing our comfortable ideas over the truth of what's happening elsewhere. It's not really sacrificing anything for our values, but sharing great slogans to show support. We get behind someone's banner as we think we will get closer to real power.”

We shouldn't be surprised then, when the person drunk on their power does a thing. Throws away the leftists who bigged them up, who shared their ideas. Because they don't need us anymore. We're problematic to the cause. We tend to speak up and share criticism after all. It's time for the centrists to fall behind the banner.

As a recovering centrist myself, I've learned this the hard way.

But whenever I see a man; and in my experience, it is always a man, talking about purity culture (or cancel culture), I tend to wonder what abusive behaviour they are hiding. Or who they've excused because of the “bigger picture”. That access to power and influence. Their comfort, not yours.

Because if your worried about purity culture in leftist spaces, you are chasing power. You aren't particularly worried about hurting people, you are more worried about them exiling you from their group.

People do make mistakes. But the way you gain forgiveness is to be accountable. To examine your behaviour and your motives. To make reparations.

The group does not have to accept you back. But when someone is going from group to group, blaming purity culture in advance, you need to look for the wreckage. Even if their ideas are good, because they may well be packaging other ideas. They just happen to be the person you vibed with.

We do need to take responsibility for who we platform. Because ultimately it is down to us. We give power to our heroes by sharing their ideas, buying their stuff, using their projects. We need to understand the reciprocal nature of this.

Once we understand this, we can then consider if we should keep sharing those particular posts about an idea. We can choose to share our power with marginalised voices from the Global South. We can open ourselves up to folks who aren't from our culture. We're at a time where we need new ideas and viewpoints. We need to look at concepts from around the world.

It's a more positive thing to do than to try to change the personality, it's a more positive thing to do rather than try to argue with the personality. It opens us up to each other. Sometimes we find commonality in the concept of an idea, along with another way to describe it.

Sometimes we want a glib concept, a simple word to explain our world around us. But perhaps we could do a little more work and look outside words and slogans.

Perhaps we could stop putting folks on pedestals, or expand it and open up the stage for others. We can pass the mike. Perhaps those of us on those pedestals need to acknowledge that we are on stage and there's a responsibility towards that audience.

I include myself in this. You shouldn't put me on that pedestal, I can climb on the stage myself. I write well, and I do have a message I want to pass on to you, my audience. But I am sure that there are folks who have better ideas, who don't choose violence. Who are conciliatory rather than argumentative.

Who should we be listening to? This is something we need to ask across our networks. We need to be prepared to listen, especially when we feel uncomfortable and judged. We need to take a moment, think, let the feeling wash over us. After all, when we ask, we are asking for access to their labour. Then listen again, and go and learn. Work on ourselves, understand that discomfort.

People are human, but we do seem to be picking some folks who should never have been given so much power and influence over us. Our big men do have influence and power, we wouldn't be hearing about them otherwise.

We keep platforming them.

So give your power wisely. Build community locally, or in your online spaces. Consider also joining a union, or creating a union. That's really how to do something with our power.

Let's leave this spiral.

Each of my touches seem to leave scars

Too old to hold to too young to die

Too cold to fondle too quick to cry

I will dress in warning signs:

Toxic waste, Beware of mines

********

Beginning last summer I posted a bunch of old lyrics of mine. Early drafts, scribbled down ideas, unused bits, unfinished thoughts.

Among these I posted some final forms, with sometimes only a line or basic consept remaining from those early versions.

The short piece above is what will in the future be an early draft. It was written on Sunday, 8th of February 2026 and by the time I got it written down I knew: this won't do.

The piece is raw and emotional, but the rhyming makes me feel like I'm going to get on stage on a local village culture night's open mic with a bunch of other uneducated in the arts of poetry but having a lot to say villagers.

Not that I'm anything but for village culture nights and uneducated in the arts of poetry folks writing rhymes anyway. At least in this I don't have double standards.

By the following day I was ready to ditch everything but the last four lines. While the feelings expressed in the beginning of the poem/lyrics piece come from trying to express heartfelt things, do I sound whiny? Granted, the lines were not written without tears, but still...

On the other hand, dressing in warning signs takes control of what happens to the narrator, be as it may the end result remaining the same.

We'll see.

#poetry #lyrics

o deus falso não salva nem a si mesmo a mentira mal contada não vira verdade apenas a ilusão de um dia de sorte e no mais, nada que jamais a alguém importe

??/??/2020

april 13, 2023

lovers embrace a touch, a shiver, two smiles gentle flames entwined a beauty to see and feel

march 25, 2023

é este mangue cheio de garças caranguejos e o que mais há que me atrai atenção nessa praça e não a gente que aqui está seus desejos não me importam tampouco como se comportam nem por aqui, nem por lá

the gods ask to come with me, for they want to show their respect to you, and not just to my words.

october 10, 2023

Now, let's be honest: I am not and never have been a social media person. I don't have as much of a childlike susceptibility to finding literally every kind of well-produced art or comedy or similar entertainment to be easily amusing and so good, as I'm much more discerning about what I like and what I choose to engage with. I don't reply as much to literally every single trending post I see, partly because responses are often misread and partly because of me feeling pressured to reply to these posts for every repeated time I see them. I do not widen my social circle by default, and I reserve warmth and attention for whom and what truly interests me; this does not mean that I find the people I choose not to engage with literally unworthy of that interest, but rather, I haven't found that kind of spark in most people and things yet. (Basically, what I'm saying is, it's not you, it's me.) Because I'm very selective in my warmth, don't believe in joining niche groups on the premise that “common interests bring people together” (in my experience, they don't, and reality is much messier than this childlike premise), or otherwise play the social game of being more entertaining or interesting in a way that attracts others, my work doesn't generate those signals and so it stays mostly invisible to those not susceptible to what's immediately engaging.

As a result, everything I do becomes discoverable only when someone actively seeks it out, when an aggregator surfaces it, or when one or more people (I refuse to use the word “algorithm” or blame it on an abstract “system”) choose to amplify it, hence my reliance on word-of-mouth marketing. Because I don't engage or connect or immediately impress people the way others want me to, I become socially deprioritized, no matter how good I am at my craft or how interesting or useful or talented I could be.

When I say I want my art to be recognized by its own merits, I don't really mean that I want a handful of professionals or a large community to decide whether I am worthy of awards or accolades or grant money. I mean that I want anyone to come take a look at what I do and decide for themselves whether they want to engage further with what I do or what I stand for or not. Experience, expertise, or even an interest in art should not be prerequisites for that judgment. My ultimate aspiration is not recognition from elite circles or mass validation (or even external validation itself!), but something more fundamental: genuine connection with other artists, especially with those in my situation. The ones who aren't immediately recognized and stay hopelessly deprioritized by the masses. That is part of the reason for my selectivity, not because I think I'm too good for everyone else or that no one could ever understand me. And I hate that people default to that kind of bias against me.

However, I don't like how one of the consequences of taking this stance has resulted in what appears to be a consignment of my work to silence, whether intentional or not. Currently, I have had to stop making Untilted constricted to a membership because of how I was not getting any subscribers whatsoever (though I did receive a thoughtful $1 donation), and it's getting harder to work with a lack of engagement and feedback on my work. I feel like everyone has become either too scared or too quick to overlook things to meaningfully criticize others. Constructive feedback and meaningful dialogue become substituted for dismissive one-liners and absolute black-and-white thinking. I also dislike that the populace that privileges visibility often forces this kind of compromise, and I resent that this is read as disengagement.

Let me tell you a personal anecdote about me. When I was still in high school, I would get mostly honor rolls and certificates of excellence and stuff like that. Sometimes, some of my art would be exhibited in the classroom hallways and in-school art festivals. I even had a self-portrait of mine get accepted to be published in the Spring 2017 Celebrating Art Anthology, though it never was selected as a Top Ten or a High Merit Winner. I don't really remember receiving any harsh criticism of my work or anything like that, but I did mostly get vaguely praised – think compliments like “Wow, she's so good!” or “How is she so talented?” But I don't feel like I ever received any real genuine praise or criticism that was actually willing to delve deeper into more than just the techniques I choose to enhance my artwork or the subjects I choose. This is especially noticeable when I make realistic paintings and drawings of things like flowers, plants, nature, animals, and other similar subjects. Part of the reason I don't depict as much realism as I used to back in school is because it seems that the majority of today's viewers only superficially see that I'm good at portraying it and nothing more. It's why I'm increasingly preferring to do nonrepresentational art nowadays, even if the majority mostly ignore it, don't quite understand it, or prefer a stereotypical depiction of it to my unique interpretation of it.

I may have to figure out a way to develop more nuanced strategies of visibility that align with my constraints and philosophy. But what would that mean for me? I don't know. All I ever wanted was to cultivate a small and discerning yet close-knit and thoughtful audience of people. I have no interest in controlling what and how people interact with me, or what they say and think of me. I just want to put my art out there without requiring me to have to actively impress others or justify myself existing. That's all. And frankly I already do some form of that, but I admit I have to try other things as well.

Anyway, now that I've made my point clear, I would like to announce that the Untilted comic strip is now on Comic Fury (has been, since 9 days ago at this time of writing) and I have uploaded all of my comics on there for public viewing, though the website is still technically under maintenance (I still have to manually add descriptions, tweak the website layout a bit, etc.).

I am also thinking of adding new digital products to sell this month soon, as soon as I make some time for it somehow. It will be mostly pay-what-you-want.

I've got so many ideas to experiment with that I often have trouble articulating them and sometimes even implementing them in practice. Not a rapid flight of ideas but rather a disorganized pile of them building up like paperwork. I know, I'm not efficient enough. But I want to test my own limits.

Well, take care.

TL:DR – “Afterhour Adjustments” is a beautiful & impactful concise graphic novel that deserves a place within every collection of 'exceptional queer allegories'.

The digital 9-page comic “Afterhour Adjustments” (by @pebble@critters.gay) takes less than a half-hour to read, which I've done more than a dozen times by now. Every time I go thru this comic I find myself enjoying it even more – & I already liked it quite a lot the first time I read it.

Not only are the characters & scenes in this short story gorgeously illustrated, packed with abundant care & eye-catching detail, but the story those panels depict presents readers with an exceptionally compelling personal allegory that kept me ruminating LONG after I'd finished reading.

Right out of the gate, I'm a HUGE fan of how effectively this comic applies the color & composition of each panel & page as visual vehicles for its narrative: the dark, cool colors in first few pages immediately set a tone of unease & vulnerability that pave the way for the strange blue creature's 'adjustments', while the flip from cool to warm colors in the last two pages perfectly reflects Pebble's journey from disbelief to discomfort, to exploration, to acceptance and, eventually, to appreciation.

One aspect of this story I hadn't expected to appreciate as much as I do is the mystery: I LOVE diving deep into & unraveling all the settings & characters & backstories & motives in a story, but here all of those threads seem to be intentionally held forever “off-screen”. We don't know much AT ALL about the mischievous “strange blue creature” aside from what we can glean by their appearance (shackled arms & legs + ear tag suggesting a prisoner/test subject of some kind) & actions (powerful enough to permanently alter & teleport a living creature's body, but not to undo those changes, allegedly!), & there's nothing to imply that information would even matter, to Pebble. Far from a frustration, the absence of any further context or exposition regarding the SBC seems like an essential component that allows Pebble to re-frame & grow as a result of their experience.

To me, the heap of unanswerable questions surrounding the SBC represent their fourth & final 'gift' to Pebble, perfectly matching what their other three 'adjustments' provide:

Freedom via denial.

“By eliminating Pebble's ability to [A], the strange blue creature gave Pebble freedom from [B]”: [A]= speak; eat; grab/hold; have genitals; know anything about who did this to them, or how/why. [B]= worrying about what to say/how to say it; deciding what to eat/make/order for food; having to justify any perceived clumsiness; gender assumptions based on their genitals; the need to understand any of those things.

The titular events in “Afterhour Adjustments” are a powerful series of visual metaphors that manage to deftly capture & reveal the immaterial societal pressures that haunt the esteem of our own personal capabilities in an extremely memorable & remarkably wholesome fashion: by forcibly overturning their anatomy, the 'strange blue creature' relieves Pebble of the oppressive burdens they'd unknowingly inherited, demonstrating the true weight of those shadows by the lightness of Pebble's heart in their absence.

...and ALL of these events are super pretty, the WHOLE time. (Did I mention I like this comic? It's great!)

In fact, the only real criticism I have of “Afterhour Adjustments” (which isn't even an actual problem) is that I want MORE!

I REALLY enjoyed every glimpse of Pebble's story post-alteration, & wish we'd been able to tag along for more of their experience – from immediate fear & uncertainty to grief & dread, to desperate courage & tenuous progress, to fragile confidence & unexpected joys. I completely understand the author's choice to truncate Pebble's journey, as I'd imagine fleshing that all out would've fully redoubled the effort this comic required, but those two pages could have been twenty & I wouldn't have minded at all, given the chance to follow on & on through the indeterminate mire of emotions that led Pebble to the day they stood bare before a mirror within which they saw reflected a body worth appreciating that was their own.

...which was an absolutely incredible panel/imagery for the comic to end on, and I loved everything about it. I'm not crying YOU'RE crying!​

Fantastic work, all around! Cannot even believe that this is the author's first full color comic. 10/10, will happily read again & again.

-GoodNewsGreyShoes

I thought I would compare my time on Isla Holbox (pronounced “Ol'bosh”) to the lyrics of Madonna's La Isla Bonita.

¿Cómo puede ser verdad?

How can it be true? I don't know. I don't think that it is, but maybe it's “emotionally true.”

Last night I dreamt of San Pedro Just like I'd never gone, I knew the song

Last night I dreamt of Isla Holbox (probably) I still haven't gone, there's much more than one song

Young girl with eyes like the desert

So, dry? Unemotional? Sandy? Or the dark desert at night? This island isn't desert. Nor at all deserted—even when we went to the far north end of the island tonight where this photo was taken, we were among other tourists.

It all seems like yesterday, not far away

It all was yesterday the day before and today and half of tomorrow too, not far away I'm still here

Tropical the island breeze, all of nature wild and free (Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) This is where I long to be, La Isla Bonita

True!

And when the samba played,

Not so much samba. A lot bordering on techno. Dance music. Big bass. Also cover singers. ABBA daily. Even some Madonna. Sade. Gay, Latin or Miami dance club music. Nonstop right now at 03:27! Absolutely nothing indie. Shakira! Shakira!

the sun would set so high

How is that possible? The sun always sets low, as low as you can see. Madge, is your island mountainous? Isla Holbox is not. And here is its sunset.

(Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) Ring through my ears and sting my eyes, your Spanish lullaby

My ears always ring. Tinnitus. The salt and sweat and sun lotion does sting my eyes. No lullabies. And if there were I'd likely call them Mexican (or whatever the country of origin) vs. Spanish. I know that the language is Spanish, but Spanish lullaby doesn't sound right, unless it's from Spain. He sang me a Spanish lullaby He sang me an Argentinian lullaby He sang me a Mexican lullaby 🤔

I fell in love with San Pedro Warm wind carried on the sea, he called to me Te dijo, “Te amo” I prayed that the days would last, they went so fast

I fell in love with Isla Holbox Refreshing wind comes off the sea, he called to me, “Are you looking for tequila?” / “Would you like to book a tour?” / “Prescriptions can be mailed to the US.” Te dijo, “No, gracias.” Pero hay un otro hombre y te dijo, “te quiero”! I didn't pray. The days did last. They flowed at the proper pace & it felt good. Yes I feel ambivalence about the time here ending but it's not permanent. My companion and I both look forward to what we will do next, separately. It's not sad just because this moment is good and temporary. I try to make every moment good.

I want to be where the sun warms the sky

💛

When it's time for siesta, you can watch them go by

??

Beautiful faces, no cares in this world

Patronizing, ignorant. But yes there are happy looking people here, why not? Society doesn't have to be miserable; it's a choice.

Where a girl loves a boy, and a boy loves a girl

A lot of that pretty much, though we did see 2 men holding hands walking down the street today. And that felt good.

See https://vernissage.photos/@Romex for photos of the trip. I'll continue adding to this gallery after the current trip ends. And I'll use that address for future Mexico travel.

Holbox is La Isla Bonita indeed. The best memories aren't all sunsets and lovers. I enjoyed meeting the Argentinian man who moved here, worked scooping ice cream for a year and then went in with a friend to open the simple & delicious restaurant where we ate tonight. A highlight of the time in Holbox is observing the many community games taking place in rotation on a central multi use court: practice soccer, volleyball, basketball. Wholesome night activities. And I hope to long remember the look that my words put on a woman's face tonight. In a convenience store where the line was never long but always steady, an older woman began ringing up my purchases. It was one of the few times here that I've seen someone looking beleaguered. “Buenas noches,” I said. She brightened, stood a little straighter, smiled and said, “Muy bueno!” Then we navigated selecting a Kinder Bueno for my friend & soon we parted.

¡Adios!

¡Hasta luego!

Smiling. Human beings being human. Smiling. Smizing. Living. That's why I'm on this trip, human being being human practice. And oh yeah Spanish practice too.

'Staluego amigos

Zuerst eine kleine Linkliste zur Orientierung (diese und weitere Links finden sich auch auf dieser Übersichtsseite):

• die Infoseiten sind eine Sammlung von Informationen über die Infrastrukturen des Kongress. Was dort steht, kommt von offizieller Seite. Da gibt es auch einen Abschnitt für Erstbesuchies.
• Der Hub hingegen ist letztlich eine Art Wiki (also eine Informationssammlung, an der jeder alle mitarbeiten können, wenn sie sich einen Account machen). Dort finden sich selbstorganisierte Veranstaltungen, Assemblies, Projekte, ein schwarzes Brett und weiteres.
• Social Media: Es kann sein, dass auf Bluesky auch ein bisschen über den Congress geschrieben wird, aber das meiste wird auf Mastodon los sein, vor allem unter #39c3. Wenn Du Dich dort anmelden willst, hau mich gerne noch mal an.
• Die Chaospat*innen sind eine Gruppe explizit für Erstbesuchende, die haben sicher noch mehr Ressourcen.

Was tun?

• Besuche Self Organized Sessions oder Vorträge, die Dich interessieren.
• Gehe in einen Vortrag oder einen Workshop, von dessen Thema Du keine Ahnung hast.
• Freiwillig mitzuhelfen (“engeln”) würde ich erst ab dem zweiten Congress empfehlen. Falls Du Dich aber sehr verloren fühlst (passiert nicht selten, auch den ganz Erfahrenen), ist das vielleicht trotzdem ein sehr guter Einstieg: https://guide.c3heaven.de/index.en.html
• Sich mit Freunden treffen und über das Gelände stromern ist auf alle Fälle eine gute Idee.
• Wenn du jemanden mit einem interessanten Projekt triffst, frag ihn gerne dazu aus. Die allermeisten Leute haben Bock, über die Dinge zu reden, die sie auf dem Congress zeigen.
• Wenn jemand unfreundlich wirkt, ist er oft eher gestresst, müde oder überfordert.
• Versuche überall mal gewesen zu sein, weil es wahnsinnig viel zu entdecken gibt.
• Versuche trotzdem nicht, alles zu erleben. Der Kongress ist viel zu groß, dass eine Person wirklich alles mitbekommen könnte. Du wirst notwendig irgendwas verpassen; das ist okay. Versuch, den Moment zu genießen.
• Aus dem selben Grund: Ruh auch mal aus.
• Such Dir „Missionen“; zum Beispiel mit jemandem über Geocaching reden, endlich mal ein Bastelproblem lösen indem Du jemanden dazu ausfragst, eine Postkarte austragen oder alle Arcade-Automaten finden. Oft sind das gute Kennenlern-Möglichkeiten und sehr schöne Erinnerungen.
• Eine wichtige Sache ist noch die Foto-Policy. Wenn Du Fotos von irgendwas machen möchtest, dann ist es üblich, alle Leute, die auf dem Foto drauf sein werden, vorher zu fragen, ob das für sie okay ist. Es ist oft sehr schade, dass man dann coole Sachen nicht so einfach festhalten kann, aber es ist eine wichtige Regel in der Community.

Begriffe

• Vorträge vs. Self organized sessions: Das Vortragsprogramm (“Fahrplan”) ist von der Congress-Orga kuratiert, wird größtenteils aufgenommen und gestreamt, und ist üblicherweise von sehr hohem Niveau. Die Self organized Sessions sind viel weniger kuratiert und oft Hands-on-Workshops. Dort lernt eins auch eher neue Leute kennen. Vorträge Du auch im Januar noch anschauen, deshalb würde ich eher Workshops priorisieren. Es gibt übrigens auch eine App für Fahplan und Workshops.
• Assemblies sind die Orte von teilnehmenden Gruppen. So hat der CCC Hamburg beispielsweise einen Tisch, an dem sie sich treffen und an dem man sie treffen kann. Aber es gibt auch größere Assemblies wie beispielsweise die der Haecksen mit eigenem Workshopraum.
• DECT/Eventphone: wenn du noch ein altes Schnurlostelefon hast, kannst du das auf dem Congress verwenden. Dort gibt es ein eigenes Telefonnetz.
• Himmel: Organisation der freiwilligen Helfer*innen („Engel“)
• POC/VOC/NOC: Das -OC steht für “Operation Center”. Das sind Teams, die sich um Infrastruktur auf dem Congress kümmern, sie werden hier im Engel-Guide genauer erklärt.
• Hilfe: CERT für die physische Gesundheit, Awarenessteam für die psychische, Security für die Security.

Gutgemeinte Ratschläge

• Komm schon am 26.12. mal rum; das ist „Tag 0“. Da ist noch Aufbau, aber schon ganz gut zum Orientieren.
• Bring Deinen Laptop mit, vielleicht wollen Dir Leute Computerdinge beibringen...
• Such Dir ein „Zu Hause“, eventuell bei den Haecksen oder der Assembly eines Hackspaces, der nah an Deinem Wohnort ist, am besten bei Leuten, die Du schon kennst. Da liegt dann Dein Ladekabel, Dein Essen und eventuell eingesammelter Bastelkram; und Du kannst da auch mal ein, zwei Stunden sitzen und den letzten Workshop verdauen.
• Wie schon erwähnt, mach auch mal Pause, versuch nicht, alles zu erleben.
• Nimm Dir Essen mit. Das Messe-Essen ist teuer.
• Es sind tausende Personen während der Erkältungssaison in einem relativ engen Raum – „Congressseuche“ ist schon lange ein etablierter Begriff. Regelmäßiges Händewaschen ist absolut sinnvoll; ich würde auch eine gut sitzende Maske empfehlen.
• Wenn Du Dich irgendwann sehr erschlagen und klein fühlst, als wären alle um Dich rum krasse Hacker, nur Du nicht: Glaub mir, auch den krassen Hackern geht es so. Aber „All creatures welcome“ ist ernst gemeint; allen ist klar, dass eine der größten Stärken der CCC seine Diversität ist.
• Ein weiteres bekanntes Phänomen ist der Post-Congress-Blues. Dagegen hilft:
  • Beim Abbau mithelfen
  • Im örtlichen Hackspace vorbeikommen
  • Mit Freunden Vorträge gucken

Addenda

• WLAN: das Congress-Netz ist famously overengineered; hier finden sich Hinweise, wie Du ins Wifi kommst.

It's a natural thing to do. You have a tech you're excited about and of course you want everyone around you to use it. In time, you learn to read people and see they aren't interested and eventually they may consider trying it. But leave them, they will come in their own time.

When the blockchain was doing the rounds especially with NFTs, the tech was being crow barred into everything. It was in funding rounds, and the EU went on the bandwagon too.

We will always have tech hype.

A lack of Respect

AI however this seems to be worse. Not just because of the serious hardware shortages that LLM models are causing. It's what it's doing to people.

About six months ago we had a friend write a pitch to us to consider working with the AI company they just joined. It was proprietary and we do GPL but surely we'd work around that. It also had that AI vibe to it. It wasn't written in that friends voice, and it was just weird. In the uncanny valley.

We pushed back. We said no, and asked that friend not to use AI in communications with us. We've always been fine with understanding their own voice.

The response made us sad. “Surely we wanted our project to be used in the “Real World”, etc, etc.” There was negging. It made us sad. We'd just lost a little more respect for that friend, and other times that friend jumped on the latest bandwagon came to mind. But the lack of respect for the friendship was clear to us. Although at least this time it was in their own voice. Mistakes and all.

It was sad we had to push that. To put that boundary in place where we'd never had to have a boundary before. But the friend kept pushing against that No AI boundary. The manipulation stayed in the communication.

It is a lack of respect to use an AI to draft a response in communications to your friends and loved ones. It is manipulative and you are choosing to not use your voice, your true words, your true thoughts.

Which is devastating. Because it shows that somehow you think you are lacking, you need to use a voice of blandness, stripped of emotion, yet filled with emotionally manipulative language to get us to see your point of view.

The response put me in mind of various bar interactions I had on girls nights out with that guy at the bar. You know the one folks.

The Pickup

The pickup artist. The guy who plays the numbers game. He's not really interested in you as a person. He doesn't respect you enough as a person to get to know you, to be friends. He's not got time for that. He just wants to fuck you.

If you say no, he'll come up with counter arguments to keep pestering you until you give in.

Sometimes it's reasonable. He's so reasonable. He's a nice guy come on, just say yes.

Sometimes it's a “you won't do better, you're being unreasonable”. He'd be so good, such a gentleman, Just say yes. The negging goes hard.

My boundaries are ignored

It takes so much effort to keep saying no.

I just wanted a night out with my friends.

Adventures in FOSS

We're currently creating an AI policy for my project. It will boil down to please don't.

We won't accept LLM code contributions, we do know that some LLMs can be useful. For accessibility affordances. Now I'm going to leave aside the failure in community that means. Because when it comes to alt text, we should all be doing better.

Automated language translations can be a useful tool. Although it does come at the expense of qualified translators who'd like to eat sometime this month doing something they love.

When it comes to code commits though. I want you to know what you're submitting and why. So you need to be sure even the commit messages actually mean what you think they mean.

Take this example where a project had to deal with a 13000 line commit some guy decided to get an LLM to do “As an Experiment.” Even when the guy was asked to stop, he kept going to justify why he was doing it. Why it was such a good thing, and why the project should let him do it and accept the commit.

Oh.

There's that guy, We're not even in the bar.

Even with our own project, we had to say no to a contributor. Who when we told that contributor what our policy was going to be; sent us a long text detailing how AI helped them and why it was a good thing.

Our other contributors, who have used LLMs on occasion went “Cool, we can do that.”

There's the difference. Respect the boundary. When we say no, accept the no.

Don't assume that we don't understand. We do understand. I studied machine learning at university. This current incarnation is not that, the environmental cost of using AI isn't worth that.

The sheer existential crisis the slop is causing to our communications is not worth that. The exploitation of others to clean up AI, and the deliberate engineering of job losses is not worth that.

Even today, I was evangelised at by someone who thinks LLMs are useful. Who is completely ignoring the consent part. Why on earth would I say no to something so useful? See the community at the project is great. They will listen, honestly! Why would you switch off the AI?

Don't be that guy at the bar.

It doesn't matter my reasons for saying No.

I said no. Respect that.

Is there hope?

I read a beautiful piece by Robert Kingett about a writers group that had been infiltrated by a LLM chugging techbro. The violation of putting someone elses words into an LLM to “improve it.”

The piece hit me hard. It reminded me of when I shared a starting stub of an idea. I'd written a small paragraph, it felt raw. I've always liked writing about smells and how the body feels in a moment. I posted it online to our friend group, I asked for some feedback. Some of my friends gave me constructive useful feedback.

Then one day I came home and outside my door was a letter from another friend. He'd taken my work and rewritten it. I was so upset that he'd taken my words and rewritten them in his voice. To make it better. He thought he'd made it better. I was so angry.

It felt like such a violation. I'd not asked him to do that. I'd asked my friends for feedback. Decades later I can still feel that violation. It affected that friendship and broke my trust in him. It hurt, I couldn't forgive him. To be honest, I still haven't forgiven him for that.

So reading Robert's piece about the techbro doing that to another writer reminded me of the anger I felt at that time. How violated I felt. That's the thing about LLM evangelists. They feel it's so useful. More of the general public are evangelising for a technology they don't really understand. Even our technical press is trying for balance, with puff pieces for AI one day, and publishing pieces about the harm the next.

To the LLM bros, It doesn't matter about the violation to friendships, to artists, to Free Software Projects or ultimately the living biosphere. It's about what's useful to them. There's no space for emotion or beauty. Just bland status quo politeness. I want to tear it all down.

Beauty can be savage, unforgiving. It's not safe. It's not perfect. Beauty is not a bland lawn of astroturf with no weeds. Beauty is that piece of wild forest and meadow with wildflowers. There are no weeds. Don't let the LLM bros peddle that cold, lifeless ideal.

What Kingett did next is beautiful. It's rebellion built around community and the community grows. Go read it now.

We can choose to not give in to the LLM bro's idea of our bland polite future. We can choose to state and enforce our boundaries. Make them unequivocal. Then when someone chooses to not respect that boundary, you can show them the door and put them through it. Not for ever using the LLM, but for insisting they must use it and keep using it in their interactions with you.

They are violating your consent. You can kick them out.

They ignore the fact that No, means No.

They are being that pickup artist at the bar.

So give no quarter.

Editors Note: You can Support Robert's writing here:

https://sightlessscribbles.com/support/

“I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss of the feeling of wonder, of excitement, of the feeling of something that did not exist before taking form because you created it with your mind and your hands.

I'm sorry for your loss of feeling frustrated, not quite there yet.

I'm sorry for your loss of the will to grow, to learn, to can, to do and be better.

I am really sorry for your loss.”

-

Originally a reply to this post

“Thanks For Sharing”

thankful... that we're even able to talk about any of this at all. When Mike Leigh was on Charlie Rose, Charlie made some comment how in “Career Girls” these two old roommates meet up and talk very intensely, about serious personal matters + how Charlie thinks this works cause they're women. Or, really he said: “Women talk about things like this, and men don't. ...I find when I'm with other guys I'm talking about sports or politics.” This made me want to retch — mostly because I don't like Charlie Rose. But anyway I think, before pondering making a similar film with male characters, Mike Leigh just said, “Some men do talk like that.”

So I'm glad to be among the “some” of Mike Leigh than the “all” of Charlie Rose. Of course, that doesn't mean I feel entirely comfortable.

There's a video on YouTube titled, “Terrible Interviewer, Great Interviews” & that's how I felt about Charlie Rose always. Truly I'm not speaking in hindsight. I always felt personal dislike for Charlie Rose while avidly consuming his interviews as a rare example of intelligent conversation on tv. The exchange that I quote above pretty well explains it. For the demographics of his audience Charlie would have on a Mike Leigh. But Charlie is going to talk as if “all men are like ____,” because (as the whole world now knows) Charlie Rose is demented. His conscience clearly wasn't adequately developed, though that did not prevent his ascendence to the heights of broadcasting. Such revelations should cause a thorough reexamination of our media culture, but instead the powers that be in US society will pantomime outrage at a small number of individual failings while ensuring that current systems endure. They will stoke rumblings that changes—any progressive changes ever—are “going too far” and that stability demands regression to the mean, a state in which the powers at be remain the powers that be, minus one Charlie Rose. Even those minor penalties, of individual scoundrels chased from polite society, are only temporary. America can abide no improvement at all, for improvement implies that we weren't already perfect. Exceptionalism!

I don't begrudge anyone their entertainments [2]. I don't want a world where everyone likes the same things; I just don't want different tastes to cause offense.

I've accepted an offer on my home. If it goes smoothly the sale will close by the first week of December. My bf is coming back with me to help me organize & process the next several days. I'm overloaded with doing things poorly through the pain. He helps me with perspective.

I have made a decision on how to process my stuff in a diminished state. I don't want to expend the energy it takes to sift through unknown Mystery Boxes of memories. First I want to identify the large items that I know I do not want to keep. These will be sold, given away, donated, trashed, whatever. There are friends, potential buyers, charities, and a nearby dumpster to accept those things. Anything that causes me pause & uncertainty, for now I'm just going to keep. I need to see how large this portion is. Can it fit in an already paid for storage space? Can it fit in my car? Only after that will I see the amount that I have to process. Yeah I hate that again (as always) I'm postponing decisions & putting off processing. I'm prioritizing. I have limitations. There will never be a time when I'm not forced to rank priorities, I don't think. There's more I could say but it is not high priority with my limited energy.

※

[1] Weekly Rworld News — Princeton University sends me a magazine that they call Princeton Alumni Weekly that does not come out weekly. They just like calling it the PAW! (It used to be weekly.) I don't know if I'll ever commit to issuing weekly news updates, but I enjoyed making this graphic. The source tabloid, The Weekly World News, was a hilarious periodical (that seems a lot less funny now that disinformation is ascendant). In the 90s I had 2 WWN covers as t-shirts. One proclaimed numerous US senators to be “space aliens”; the other I can't remember right now — wasn't bat boy, but they also gave us Bat Boy! Go see the musical if you get the chance.

[2] I don't begrudge anyone their entertainments — Is that true? It's more accurate to say that I struggle to accept and respect the tastes of others. I greatly dislike gambling and real violence as entertainment. (I'm ambivalent about simulated violence. I feel there's so much in entertainment that it may prime some viewers to expect & accept more violence in real life.) My acceptance for the differing tastes of others is expressed in hope that my own peculiar tastes, especially my lack of conformity to the preferences of the majority, might be likewise accepted. I consider this matter an essential component of a functional society. Tolerance.

Furthermore, I'll probably be called a "goody-goody" over this, but I honestly don't believe we need another catchphrase that reclaims a word that was originally intended to be a really harsh offensive insult, and suddenly act like it's the hottest trendy thing to say. These kinds of trends, to me, are how we get people adopting ideas and beliefs that may not even resonate with them in the first place, but are really just to justify whatever biases they have of certain others. It also leads to the proliferation of catchy but low-quality and actually problematic ideas that sacrifice all dignity and integrity to make them appealing to a broader audience. And then we wonder why we have vulnerable audiences repeating and unironically believing these problematic sentiments. What we should all strive to do instead is craft compelling and meaningful statements that are timeless and resonate with us all, even if it sounds "too serious" or "corny" or whatever. I just don't believe in reclaiming words that obviously have an original negative intent in the name of "making it positive and digestible" for a broader audience. To me, it's inauthentic, and, dare I say, trying too hard. And I'm not saying this out of some arbitrary standard or to feel superior. I'm saying it out of respect and care. But, I won't go out of my way to police how other people think and what they say either, unless it directly affects me, or others around me.

For the time being, I will be around on mastodon.art posting updates about my comic strip Untilted, and I will try to personalize all my posts, including self-promos, in a way that doesn't come across as too heavily reliant on copying and pasting scripts. This criticism might sting, but I'm starting to notice how the vast majority of self-promoters just drop a few standard messages, a briefly original statement (sometimes to report on updates), post an image with additional info in its alt text (or worse, post NO alt text), and that's basically it. Since noticing this, I want to aspire to be different and add more of a personal touch to my self-promotional posts while still respecting others that may not want to see these types of posts so frequently. I hope others would too. I'll have to figure this one out myself, and you'll be noticing it sooner or later from me.

Also, after a few years, I still have not been able to pick up new members on either untilted.lol (free and paid plans) or the Buy Me A Coffee version of the paid membership. I admittedly haven't been uploading much exclusive content on my website, and I haven't had the motivation to transfer that to the Buy Me A Coffee version of the paid membership due to a seemingly lack of interest in... well, anything I seem to do. I think the fault lies in the fact that I don't do much marketing beyond making promotional posts and word-of-mouth, and I don't like receiving excessive attention either, but that shouldn't have to mean that people assume that I don't want any attention at all. Another factor is that I've been having some difficulty figuring out what kinds of membership posts I would truly like to do besides just posting high-quality works in progress or behind the scenes stuff. Everybody does that. But I wish to offer more. I might create a poll on that soon. There's so many likes and favorites on my social media posts but I'm always short - and often devoid - of people offering maybe constructive artistic criticism that's understandable to help me improve on my work, or maybe someone willing to work with me in a way that doesn't just promote what they themselves have to offer but also gives me meaningful personalized advice. That's what I value more.

I think the problem lies in that both Bluesky and Mastodon, despite claiming to have no algorithms that push ads or other content on you, paradoxically push people with the most followers with the most popular/relevant perspectives on their respective "Discover" feeds, while a lot of genuine self-promo and mutual aid posts from users with a smaller follower base get buried, or worse falsely reported (depending on how one interprets it). The differences between them are that Bluesky emphasizes algorithmic timelines while allowing users to customize those feeds to not rely on trending posts all the time, along with making follower count signals more uniform by concentrating influential users (this was made more apparent when Bluesky introduced the "Verified" feature for "important and culturally relevant" accounts and made people sign up for that via Google Forms). While Mastodon's "Discover" feed is more instance dependent and sometimes moderated depending on the instance, in addition to localizing certain users with high follower counts to an instance or across instances, which means it depends on how well said instance federates with others.

But that's not the only issue. Bluesky appears to be more friendly towards those who self-promote/market their content to anyone seeing their posts, while views on this user behavior on Mastodon tend to be very mixed and fragmented. I've seen some instances ban any kind of self-promotion by users on their own instance. I've also seen others welcome it, but to the extent that spam waves and other automated behavior become common at worst. A quote from me:

"I've seen people who happen to have small indie businesses get called out for "engagement farming". Conversely, I've seen these same smaller people told they're "not trying hard enough" if nobody still acknowledges their business after 6 months or more. And given a bunch of "suggestions" or "hacks" that only appeal to larger corporate companies.

The truth is, there really seems to be no winning formula for meaningful online interaction, whether it's to promote a business or just hang out with people or even just to ask for mutual aid. When someone attempts to make strategic posts designed to maximize engagement (regardless of whether that someone is running a business or not), that someone is criticized for being inauthentic. Yet, when that same someone attempts to pivot to genuine, sincere interactions, there is nothing but minimal response, or worse, dismissive, vague responses that seem to make fun of that someone."

On both Bluesky and Mastodon, I've only had up to, like, less than 10 people genuinely interact with my work in a meaningful way. The others just clicked the like button. I rarely actually get likes or even a single repost/boost on Mastodon, however, unless it was an opinion on something that everyone seems to agree with.

At the same time, I don't want to act like just because Bluesky and Mastodon share similarities in some flaws, it should have to mean I'll have to see them both negatively, as I like it way much better on Mastodon. I don't want to see myself turn into someone that does things to get likes or stir up controversy to get negative attention. I don't want to have to appeal to what the majority likes. I don't want to have to cater to other people's interests to the detriment of my own genuine ones. And I especially do not want to alienate anyone at all, except maybe some truly harmful people like those who discriminate against the marginalized, but that's all. So I am trying to strike a balance here. And I would like to open myself up to any criticism or accountability if needed.

In other news, I'm still retaining my Pinterest account as I actually want to post more regularly on that even though I'm seeing people say that Pinterest is currently not a good place to be due to the platform's recent random bans on people. However I want to clarify that I have opted out on the AI thing that Pinterest wanted to force on us, and, despite being a business account, I want to mix some personality into my self-promotional posts, I have not faced any disciplinary action and I am still on good standing. If you think I should make some changes like reverting to a personal account or closing Pinterest entirely, I might do so since I don't get much traffic. I watermark all my social media imagery using artshield.io to protect it against AI scraping and stuff like that, but I'm open to other alternatives (since it sometimes fails to watermark certain images despite them not having a white background. ugh). I'm also still on Side 7, but lately it's been ticking me off due to the lack of interaction I get and the fact that no one responds to my inquiries except the moderators and admins (who are helpful sometimes).

I'm also looking forward to new comic platforms (no tapas.io or webtoon please) and I wanted to try ComicFury webcomic hosting but the last time I contacted them they were unresponsive. So I preferably want something like ComicFury or preferably help in coding something that allows serial art to be shown in an accessible manner, as some platforms lack the ability to add alt text (especially Buy Me A Coffee's gallery). I'll also work on making my alt text more descriptive and nicer to read. If anyone has any useful suggestions on this matter, reach out to me if you can.

In the meanwhile one can support me on either Buy Me A Coffee or my website through signing up for any of the plans and creating an account.. To date, the latest issue I've done is #83 and can be viewed here. (I've fixed an error on my last one)

I'm also going to revamp Untilted's lore and character profile a bit, to clarify some things and make more sense.

Any suggestions, criticism, etc. relevant to this post are welcome!

and one day you'll move on, packing the doll away. move after move, new start after new start, always carefully placed in its box.

until, time comes, when it ends up in that last box; that last box you'll “get to someday”, that box of things you never consciously miss.

that is the true home of the doll.

Regarding art business, I've done a lot of introspection and research on what specifically I want to do these past few months, because of the lack of subscriptions and interactions and mostly due to my thinking that I would be mostly passive while customers come to me. It seems that no matter where I set up shop, whether it's Mercari, Fiverr or some other marketplace even if run independently by me, I don't get much traction anywhere. There was a whole moment where, despite consistently putting up stuff on Mercari for weeks, I went a whole year without a single sale, which led to my frustration and led to me eventually deactivating my Mercari account. All this despite putting up stuff most people want to see. And I'm being regularly blamed for not being proactive enough when I just want to not have to think about how to woo people in my business, which apparently I must actively do or else I'll be treated with suspicion. But guess what? It was like this under actual employment as well. When I signed up for a temporary summer painting job at my community college, I was also being seen by my manager as “not doing my job and constantly disappearing” despite the fact that I actually was consistently painting on the areas I was assigned to the entire time, and despite me showing him. Which led to me quitting a day before the official employment term ended.

It turns out that I'm not very traditionally well-suited for any type of business or profession due to my nature and attitude towards it. And I think the main reason for this is because, going by how people promote their own products and all, from Mastodon to Pinterest, everyone HAS to be proactive and initiative at ALL times and everything HAS to be attractive and acceptable to the general public (or at least a well-defined popular demographic/audience) or else I'll be viewed with suspicion/contempt and eventually ignored in favor of more popular and marketable influencers. And I don't really like that notion. At all.

It also turns out that there are some things in the art business that I am not exactly comfortable with doing, that I've seen everywhere I go in a lot of art circles:

1. Art prints. I feel like only photography is best suited to be printable, but I don't exactly have the budget for a high-end camera (although I do have Photoshop and Lightroom, but I rarely use it) so I will probably never be able to successfully pull it off.
2. Art merchandise (like stickers, bookmarks, shirts, etc.). I do actually do my own stickers and bookmarks using my own materials and whatever else I got but I just do not like the idea of turning my art into marketable merchandise that dilutes almost all meaning my art has. It feels like I am using my art in a way that indicates that it does not deserve respect beyond being marketable and trendy.
3. Stock photos and stock illustrations. At one point I did attempt to sell stock photos with Adobe Stock, and they rejected my photograph for being low-quality and, most irritating at all, “not representing the broader human experience” as if a stock photo has to mean something beyond being used by businesses to showcase their products without actually showing the actual product. So I stopped. I'm not even sure if someone can sell stock photos beyond a marketplace, because most people are bound by marketplaces that either prohibit content with resale rights or have heavy restrictions on them anyway, and stock images are technically such content. So I will not be doing stock images.
4. Sending physical and handmade art/jewelry. I currently do not have the means or support to do so due to preservation concerns as I live in an apartment building that's not very suitable enough to preserve high-quality artwork beyond the ones that take low maintenance to preserve.
5. Anything that can be sold on Fine Art America, Etsy, Pixels, etc. due to my experience with marketplaces I just explained at the beginning.
6. Anything photography related due to the high expectations associated with it.
7. Any type of art commission that feels informal (like character base templates). Now, I have no hostility or hatred towards people who do art commissions. But a lot of the scene and their ideas feel, how do I put this in a nice way, too simplistic and informal. I do not mean to say that they are unprofessional at all, or anything overly negative like that. I am not one of those people who judge other people's career choices based on perceived professionalism and I am actually very accommodating about this stuff. However, I have a preference towards commissions that convey a higher level of seriousness and that give me something simple yet also challenging to do, while not burning me out, but also helping me learn something new at the same time. And I don't feel that certain types of art commissions meet that standard for me.
8. Any type of art commission that feels too easy to do to the extent that it can be exploited by someone who wants to rip it off and pretend they did the work themselves when they stole it from me (like profile picture commissions done in the same kind of style, “adoptables”, etc). See 7.
9. Any type of art commission that has loopholes that may violate my boundaries and could get me in trouble (e.g. non-explicit fetish art that isn't obvious to the average viewer that it's meant to be fetish art). I've had this boundary way before the whole UK Online Safety Act thing (which I technically may be bound to due to me being on a UK-based marketplace website, although my website contains no objectionable content) but I would just like to reiterate that I do not do any kind of content that may be considered harmful to vulnerable audiences, legally or not, no matter how implicit or hidden it is. Although all my art is created for a general audience and is not primarily directed at either children or adults, I do not do any kind of adult content whatsoever. This is not to judge those that do, just to set things straight.
10. Anything that requires software I may not be familiar with.
11. Texture/brush packs (because I am not familiar with them)
12. Online teaching (for obvious reasons)
13. Anything involving cryptocurrency, non-fungible tokens, and artificial intelligence due to ethical risks
14. Anything beyond my current skill level and budget.
15. Anything outside my personal taste unless I'm sure I'm comfortable with it. I do not discriminate against anyone for having an art style different from my own either.

I do like the idea of putting up membership content for people to subscribe to me and see all my content there, even if it's just for a month, which is why Untilted was initially a subscription-based thing before I realized that no one knows me well enough to want to subscribe to me. But I haven't even figured that out well yet, as I see some people put some behind the scenes art in public, and other art behind a membership paywall. As a result I am stumped as to what I want to put on my membership tiers, and I am open to ideas. I was thinking maybe I could do alternative versions of certain Untilted comics, or maybe some GIF animations.

I would really like everyone's help and input with this.

but it used to sing! sometimes it still does, in the quiet, on its own, and it really does enjoy it, but... its voice never quite did the things it wanted to, despite training and effort and practice. it's never been sure how to produce some of the sounds it's always wanted to, though it does some things others have wanted to emulate. lately, though, it has songs deep in its... in what would pass for its soul, songs it yearns to get out, that it just cannot physically produce. whether it's the pitch range, or the timbre, or the specific techniques required, the Doll just... can't do it. as time goes on, the Doll experiences this more and more, and each time it happens it feels that disconnect between itself and its voice grow wider.

but at least it's quite happy with the way it talks, usually. that's a big accomplishment.

¹ farkin' oath

Maybe tomorrow

It's easy to get mad at the people who vote for evil. I'm mad. I hate my fellow white people including former friends and my mom. Think about that. I hate my mom. [1]

But do we get mad at people who eat at McDonald's or only buy Crest or Colgate or shop at Home Depot or who own iPhones? Advertising works. The effects of advertising are well known or else they wouldn't exist. And Democrats raise gobs of money and put on advertisements before elections. But if a better-for-you cola runs 6 weeks of ads I don't think it's going to outsell Coke. The Democrats can't compete against a lifetime of brainwashing. All through the 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, and today, the Democratic Party has been dehumanized by a nonstop media onslaught from the right. Lefties like me laugh because the attacks are juvenile. And so are most commercials.

Ok but Black Americans exist in the same media landscape & they might buy Colgate but they're not voting for Republicans! They are reliable Democratic voters. Ok. I'm just an artist, a white man; I'm not able to speak for Black Americans. But I know this: Black people know their existence is under threat & it's never stopped being under threat. I also believe that Black Americans have a stronger network of community & family. (Above I talked about my division with my own mother. More below [2].) I doubt Black Americans vote for Democrats because of advertisements or even for specific policies. It's existential, a feeling, reinforcement of identity and community.

Remember, I'm just talking. All this is uneducated speculation. I'm an artist, not a college graduate!

96% of this post was written February 27, 2025, and left incomplete. “Under pressure” of my made-up weekly blog deadline, I decided to add a few finishing touches. I choose to blog about politics this week because it's a bleak time. It's depressing, yet somehow a pep talk to realize that embracing humanity is an uphill battle & always has been.

Examples of pervasive anti-humanism and humanistic attitudes to combat them:

Capitalism. Money-centered existence diminishes individuals & humanity. Center what's natural: the body (including emotions), all humans, animals, plants, the planet. Use labor and capital for the benefit of those.

Perfectionism. “I'm right, they're wrong. They're idiots. What's wrong with those people? They're not like me, they're animals.” · “My mind is terrible, I can't remember anything. I'm so fat now. I was better fifteen years ago.” Ranking and judging damages self worth, deteriorates human community. Settle for less. What is is. What is is good. Diversity is good. Perfection is a delusion. Love all. Ok, now, ya hippie, how can you love all?! Equally?! I'm not concerned about equally, that's a ranking urge. I strive to live centered in love. It's not easy. It's work. I love myself and others in our imperfections. I aspire to love all unconditionally.

Minimizing Feelings. “I'm afraid of looking at certain texts, talking to certain people. I'm pathetic. Worrying makes it worse, I should just...” Hating feelings is hating oneself. Feelings are natural, beautiful, human. Instead of seeing a conflict between feelings and reason I seek peaceful coexistence. (Compossibility is an important word in my philosophy for another time.) Feelings are valid. Feelings are who I am. Reason is too. These provide data for me to consider. I can change any time. I make decisions based on feelings and reason.

There's so much more. I started a weekly blog a couple months ago to force me to write and publish constantly. The work builds. There is no perfect. I'm grateful to be working in a space that collects my efforts (corporate spaces usually throw yesterday's unpopular work away). I hope to keep going.

But, maybe they should be. Perhaps I am wrong and they still are. My opinions on the entire thing are worth about as much as my wife says they are, which to me is worth everything. To anyone who believes in me, they might care a bit. To anyone else, they don't matter.

In the end, it only really matters how we feel, silently of course, as it pertains to the growth of our skills and passions and quality of work. Regardless, this story is my life's purpose and I will write it for eyes, even if it is only my own, and this will not detract from the quality. If anything, it will make it better. My goal has and always will be, the same: hold their story in my hands. The ability to do so has been kept from me only by finances; but not indefinitely.

As it is such a basic and widely used ritual, there has been by time created a “LBRP-egregore”. You could say that when you are performing the LBRP, you are not only doing it for the effects of the ritual, but also tapping into the current created by all the previous workings of LBRP and those being worked now.

The ritual is basic, but not simple – it is much more than “just a (temple) purifying rite you do before the actual workings”.[2]

LBRP is, as the name implies (the) lesser (banishing) pentagram ritual. There is also the Greater Ritual of the Pentagram, which uses banishing / invoking and active / passive forms of the pentagrams of all the elements. However, in this lesser ritual, the Pentagram of the Earth only is used.[3]

Now, why do you use only the Pentagram of Earth? To understand this, one needs to look a bit deeper into the ritual.

Visualisation instructions for the first part of LBRP, the Kabalistic Cross, tell the Magician to imagine hirself growing ever taller to the point where the entire universe seems tiny. However, the feet remain firmly on the ground. This is a clue: earth is where you operate, the sphere the ritual is acting upon. Besides, you are using the pentagram as the symbol drawn and the pentagram represents the material, earthly world.

So, this is an earth(l)y ritual. Maybe this is why there's only the Earth Pentagram used. Well, it's not that simple. Thinking about this a bit further, questions arise. If merely operating on the earth, feet firmly on the ground, makes the ritual need only one kind of Pentagram, shouldn't there be pentagram rituals for the other three elements – and spirit – and using the other pentagrams not only available, but regularly used? Furthermore (and this is said with a wink), if standing with feet firmly on the ground is the reason to use only the Earth Pentagram – who exactly would one do rituals for the other elements? Should one be standing on, say, fire? Even done as just a visualisation, things might get a tad difficult.[4]

It seems to be the time to find the next clue. The first clue pointed towards earth. No, actually the first clue was found even before that – it's in the name of the ritual: “lesser”.

The second, err... third clue can be found from the spoken texts of the ritual. With the exception of part three, the Evocation of the Archangels, it's Hebrew. This suggests taking a look at Kabbalah[5]. Granted, merely the fact that this is a ritual of Ceremonial / High / Ritual Magick, should make one think about looking there... You pretty much can't avoid having to learn at least the basic ideas of Kabbalah sooner or later, if you are interested in CM.

The fourth and quite important clue has been present all along: the symbology of the Pentagram. Especially the Pentagram as the symbol of the microcosm, not only as the symbol that contains five elements and connects them all when it's drawn. Taking those four clues (rearranged a bit): Kabbalah leads to taking a look at the Tree of Life. “Lesser” points the look downwards on the Tree. Earth focuses the search to the representation of the material world. Finally, the Pentagram tells it straight (if the former ones didn't already) with the information of the symbol representing the microcosm – the earthly Kingdom of Malkuth. Now there's a familiar term, it's said in the ritual even! For a reason, too.

The following is simplification, so bear with me. Studying each element, gesture, name, word and symbol further is more than adviced!

On the Tree of Life, LBRP acts on the low(est) point, the 10th Sephira called Malkuth. The name means “Kingdom” and it is the sphere of Earth and material existence. Both the element and planet attributed to Malkuth is Earth. Logically, it's direction is north.

Malkuth is traditionally pictured as being divided into four quarters, the four elements Earth, Air, Fire and Water. It is also the plain of elementals and (unlike with any other Sephira) the spirits of the four elements are divided into four categories, including archangels familiar from the rite being discussed.

However, even with the other elements present, one could semi-jokingly say that there is enough attributes to earth/earthy/material to last for all four directions.

Little more seriously speaking, Malkuth is the sphere where what “exists only as ideas” become real, material, have substance. It's immersed with matter. It is “earth/material heavy” and it makes sense that the mage makes sure hir “can handle it” – that's where the mage lives. This Sephirah is also the only one that is attributed to earth. The other 9 Sephiroth are attributed to the three other, “older” elements; the roots of these elements to the Supernal Triad and two sets of three in the two lower ones. So, one could think of the Fire, Air and Water in Malkuth as being “Fire of Earth” (etc), which would make using just the Earth Pentagram even more logical.

Furthermore, even when one uses only the Earth Pentagram, the other elements “get into the rite anyway” with the symbology used and the symbolic stress on the material becomes clearer. Enough with the over-use of quotation marks!

In this ritual, you are – among other things – bringing down power from the upper planes (note the visualisation of light, touching head first and then pointing down touching the genital area) to the plane of (your) operation, physical plane (where it also gets grounded). You are also creating an area of protection around yourself – around you flame the four pentagrams, above and under you are hexagrams.

Checking what different occult fraternities and writers say about the LBRP's relation with it gives more insight. They also give a bit of mixed messages.

For example, Aleister Crowley places the ritualist standing on the “intersection of the paths of Samekh and P�. You are facing Tiphareth (the Sun), thus on your right hand is Netzach (Venus), on your left hand Hod (Mercury), and behind you Yesod (the Moon).”[6] Thinking about the archangels of the Sephiroth mentioned this would fit, especially when one checks closer the Archangel Haniel that's usually placed in Netzach instead of Uriel (Auriel) that gets called in the ritual. According to a Kabbalah FAQ, “Around the 12th to 15th centuries C.E. the name of Haniel came to replace the name Uriel” . Furthermore, the attribution of the Archangels isn't set in stone or otherwise remain the same throught the ages or interpretations.

According to Golden Dawn, you have your back to the Tree (the microcosmic Tree – you become the Tree), with Geburah to your left and Gedulah (Chesed) to your right. You are “standing” on Malkuth, though.

If you go by Crowley's placement, the earth-heavyness can still be explained: you're working on the Assiah, the lowest of the four Kabbalistic worlds – the material world.

Notes

[1] In addition to this, there are many LBRP variants out there, written mainly by and for the use for people who find it uncomfortable to use the kabalistic – interpreted by many as blatantly Christian – names and symbology of the original. In my personal opinion, if the names called in LBRP do not feel at all fitting, one might want to try the Star Ruby before going for any of the LBRP variants. Why? Consider the egregores.

[2] Or, to quote Aleister Crowley: “Those who regard this ritual as a mere device to invoke or banish spirits, are unworthy to possess it. Properly understood, it is the Medicine of Metals and the Stone of the Wise.” (from notes of “The Palace of the World”)

[3] In some traditions, those who advance to higher levels of initiations / levels are given a version using four Pentagrams: those of Fire, Water, Air and Earth. Furthermore, in some traditions this ritual is done with only the Earth Pentagram, because at an early stage, the novice has not been taught the other ones... However, LBRP in the “only Earth Pentagram” form is not for the use of nor used by beginners only!

[4] Here, I'm going on the silly side. You can use any of the five pentagrams in a pentagram ritual. In this occasion, the original question referred to the “standard LBRP”, so I'm working from that on. Sometimes getting silly, as it seems.

[5] Kabalah, Kabbalah, Qabalah, or which ever way you happen to spell it...

[6] Aleister Crowley: Magick (“Blue Brick” -edition), p. 691

(Sources, in addition to the mentioned, were several, heh.)

#Magick #Thelema

Materials

• Black cloth. (Here, black is used to denote strength, protection, calmness, darkness). Natural fibres are best, not only because the pillow will be rather close to your head. Cotton is a good choice.
• Sewing equipment, either plain old thread and needle or machine
• Embroidery threads or fabric pain
  • Herbs

Starting Out

The dream pillow has “two layers”. The inner one will be the pillow itself, with the herbs. The outer one is the “pillow case” for this inner pillow.

To begin with, you'll need to choose symbols that will be embroidered or painted on the outer pillow, the pillow case, as well as colours for the symbols. The symbols should denote Strength and Protection, the symbols used and their colours should arise from your own personal symbology and correspondences – they should speak to you. You can add other symbols according to your own needs and insights.

The pillow's final size should be 11” x 11cm. This strange mixture of measurement units is because the idea is to use the number 11. Here, 11 denotes both the pentagram and the hexagram, it's the number of the Goddess and also refers to one's Great Work. The purpose is to banish disturbing nightmares and these nightmares can indeed interfere with one's Great Work, especially when they're making you too tired to Live.

Cut four pieces of the fabric, large enough for you to be able to get that 11” x 11cm pillow from. Put two of the pieces aside for a while and start working with the other two – the pillow case.

Embroider or paint the symbols you chose with your chosen colours on both of the pieces (right side of the fabric). If you painted the symbols, let the paint dry out completely before starting to sew and if you're using fabric paints, iron the paint as per instructions. Then, sew the pieces together with the right sides in. Leave the other 'short end' unsewed. This is where you will slip the the inner pillow inside the pillowcase. Turn the allowances on this short end in and sew in place. You can attach ribbons to the sides of the opening in order to tie it and keep the inner pillow in place. You can also sew the opening close when the pillow is ready, but ribbons make it much easier to change the inner pillow if needed.

The next step is sewing the inner pillow. Make it a little bit smaller than the pillow case. Sew the sides, right sides of the fabric in, leaving a couple of inches on one side for turning the pillow seams in and then stuffing it. Turn the seams in.

The Herbs

For this nightmare banishing pillow, I chose the following herbs for choosing from: Lavendar, mugwort, hyacinth flowers, anise, cedar, rosemary, valerian, hops, marjoram, dittany of Greece, garlic, thyme ... Do take your allergies into consideration and don't use anything that might trigger your allergies!

Use approximately 50% lavender, with a dash of rosemary and anise. With others, make a nice and even blend. Remember, you should be able to sleep on that pillow! Mix the herbs gently, without using iron / metal bowls or servers.

It is better not to use: Sage, as it may cause haunting feelings in your dream. Tansy, as it can cause nightmares. Other species of Artemisia than the above-mentioned mugwort, or laurel, as they can cause dreams with fears. You might want to remove these from your sleeping quarters as well. Use the herbs as herbs, not as oils. While some instructions do mention oils in dream pillows, oils can have too strong a scent and they may stain.

Fill the inner pillow. It is supposed to be rather flat, not round. Sew the hole you left for filling and put the inner pillow inside the pillowcase you made earlier. Tie the ribbons or sew the pillowcase shut.

Other Notes

While preparing the pillow, concentrate your thoughts on what the pillow is meant to do. That is, the whole preparing process is good old fashioned Witchcraft and the pillow itself a kind of spell wrapped in cloth :–)

Then to Banish the Nightmares

You're not supposed to just lay your head to sleep after making the pillow. You should be preparing yourself for the forthcoming night, sleeping and dreaming. Before falling asleep, perform a banishing ritual of the type you are most familiar with. The purpose of this is to sleep inside a 'circle', within cleansed space.

If you can, perform the ritual in your mind instead of going around or on your bed. That is, your mind is doing all the necessary work, while your body is resting on the bed.

Include the whole of your bed and a little bit of its surroundings to the area you are cleansing. If your bed is next to a wall, pull it out a little bit so that there's some space between the wall and the bed. Otherwise you might be taking a little bit of your next door neighbour's apartment inside your circle.

After the banishing, relax your whole body and – sweet dreams!

#magick #spell #pagan

But I don't care whatever you wear We met behind the scene every first time we see

We know all our being Alright from every start In a glimpse of the eye One from our heart

There's no witchcraft There's no shrine All is ours and nothing 'mine'

Now and Never Is all the time The joke is on us let it be a first smile every time

of night and day curious all along the way

We find our tunes out of the blue boundless feeling and we know

without a doubt free in joy wherever we go

all our striving that we share out of compassion we dare birds bear witness to the sun oh the sun

whispering dawn whispering

Moving on new horizons ahead by intuition and intent

we realize with ease intangible dreams every time again

In stillness we cease and crest there are no words to be left all within a joyful heart

within our shining eye morning arise

all our exploring we share with all our attention we care the golden light is shining on within through out you

whispering dawn whispering

let us remain strangers with a gleam in our eye learning and inspiring open what will be

let us become strangers not pretend that we know keep our dreams and visions let the unknown unfold

let us leave as strangers grateful happenings at all nothing as expected no names to call

let us be strangers complementing one another free and united once and for all

Wiccan Version

The Wiccan versions of the Witch-bottle which follow are more suitable for the Wiccan view of the world, magick and ethics. They are often intended to capture the negative energies or prevent it from ever arriving and – what's important – prevent it to harm the home and its inhabitants. Many of these Wiccan versions are very much like the basic bottle described above, so it isn't necessary to repeat everything over. However, you can use wine, (apple) vinegar or blessed (salted) water instead or in addition to urine. The nails used may be new, etc.

Many Wiccan Witch-bottles use herbs, with the herbs being chosen according to their magickal qualities. There are sometimes very specific instructions given for the gathering of each herb and other items, including correct phases of the Moon. The herbs and other objects may be put in the bottle the previous day, letting the bottle stand by the witch's bed over the night. In the morning, you can add (morning) urine to the bottle, after which the bottle is closed and sealed utilizing Wiccan rituals. Some instructions state that the bottle will be placed in a cupboard or closet, so you don't necessarily have to carefully hide it.

The following instructions are a basic version of a Wiccan version of the Witch-bottle, using herbs. You can do everything using a longer/more complex or a shorter/simpler route, depending on your own inclinations. You can for example start collecting the necessary items on a given phase of the moon (for example on the day before New Moon) and perform the ritual on the next Dark Moon. Or, you can collect the items when you have time for it and build the bottle at any phase of the moon (with protective spells, you don't always have to wait for the right phase of the moon – you do it when you have to). You can utter a suitable spell with every item added to the bottle, summoning the spirit of the item/accessory and meditate for a while – or you can speak your chosen words after the bottle is filled. You can make the bottle as part of a ritual, or you can construct a ritual especially for this occasion. One reason why I'm being so vague with the instructions is that I'm not Wiccan myself.

Materials

* Bottle or jar, with a tightly closing cap or lid * Sea salt * Crystal or stone, for example turquoise, obsidian or black onyx. * Herbs, for example acasia, aloe, lilies, lime, lotus, agrimony, corn, cayenne and black pepper, dried onion, salvia, frankincense, basil, mint, myrrh, garlic, rosemary, mistletoe, pine needles. * A few nails or needles * Wine, (apple) vinegar or urine * Thread * Black candle for sealing * The usual tools used in the ritual section

Preliminary Preparations

You can choose the herbs and crystals you are going to use according to their special qualities or use some of those I've listed. You can also use a drop or two of an essential oil instead of a herb. You can choose the number of herbs and solid items in general (in this case, essential oil is counted as “solid”) to put in the bottle on numerological grounds either so that the number of all solid items is a specific one, or that you will use a certain number of herbs. Suitable numbers are 7, connected to protection, or 9, connected with the Goddess.

Gather the necessary items. Clean the bottle you are going to use. Wash it with warm soapy water carefully (if you can use a specific soap made for protective purposes, so much the better) and dry it well. You can leave the bottle over night in the light of a full moon to charge it. Choose a place to hide the bottle. For a bottle to be filled as part of a ritual or ritually, it is a good thing to have all the necessary tools at hand, on your alter. You can also construct your ritual and spells and chants beforehand.

The purpose of the crystal (which isn't absolutely necessary, the list is given as an example – including the liquid items) is to use it's magickal qualities, the same goes with the herbs. The salt is there to purify and bless the target of the Witch-bottle (the person(s), home to be protected). The nails and needles ground the negative energy and you can also visualize it being then sent back to its sender, threefold. The thread tangles the negative energy in a knot similar to what you are tangling the thread into and to bend the energies away from the builder of the bottle. You can also visualize the negativity tripping over to the thread. The urine represents the builder of the bottle. When using wine or vinegar you can visualize the negative energies drowning in the liquid, with vinegar acting as a purifying element as well.

The Actual Making of the Bottle

If you're constructing the bottle as part of a ritual, you can perform the ritual opening as usual.

Start filling the bottle with the salt. After the salt, add needles or nails, bent or straight. After this, it's time to add the herbs. The crystals and the thread you've tangled into a “ball” can be added next. If you are adding liquids, that is done after the solid items.

When the bottle is otherwise finished, you can raise energies with a suitable chant (I've seen the traditional “Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna” recommended for this purpose) and directing it into the bottle, after which you close the bottle and seal it with the wax of the candle.

End your ritual as usual and bury the bottle into a suitable place or otherwise hide it. You can burn incense on the hiding place to seal the spell properly.

Witch-Bottle to Show Off

Witch-bottles that are intended to be left out in plain sight are not usually made to that much protect their makers, but to bring the one who has cast this bottled spell something she or he wants. The usual reasons are the reasons so common with other types of spell as well: the wish the gain more love, material gains, happiness, creativity.

I won't give any specific instructions, only basic principles:

Select the bottle or jar used according to its color, shape or the simple fact that it is pleasing to the eye. Go through the magical qualities of herbs, colors, essential oils, metals, crystals etc and choose the ones you'll use in the bottle according to how well they suit your intended purpose. You won't normally use any liquids (except for a few drops of essential oils) in bottles left in the open, they are “dry bottles”. Aim for a harmonious whole. That means: don't try to squeeze in your bottle every single herb or crystal associated with, for example, wealth. Too much is too much!

Pick a few suitable herbs or oils, one suitable crystal, one suitable color. To represent the color you can add (silk) ribbon to the bottle or tie a ribbon around it, or paint a symbol representing your goals with the chosen color. You can also make a “hat” to cover the lid of the bottle, making it out of black cloth and painting a symbol on it with fabric paint or magic marker, or use the color of your spell as the color of this “hat”. You can use colors as colored sands or salts. Even metals have their own magickal correspondences, so you might want to use metal dust or chips.

If you are following the phases of the moon or other celestial objects in your magick, take them into consideration while constructing the bottle. It is up to the bottle's maker whether to use a formal ritual or not.

As a basic principle, it could be suggested that sands (and metal dust/chips) usually go to the bottom, herbs and oils on the sand and the crystal in with the herbs.

Final Words

You can easily develop a large number of versions of the basic Witch-bottle to suit your (and others') needs and life situations. Even during the time historical Witch-bottles were in use, there were new versions being developed, so why not today?! There is no One True Witch-bottle (even though there probably are people who would like to claim so), only bottles more like the traditional ones and bottles of more modern variety. I have run into all kinds of bottles myself, some being love-raising bottles on the brink of going over the level of good taste and ethics (some actually going overboard) to bottles constructed to bind a given bad person very tightly. The many varieties speaks volumes for how effective this type of spell work can be and how versatile it is.

— [1] Oxoniana, vol. i. p. 232, tells how the bottle got its name: “One of the Fellows of Exeter (College), when Dr Prideaux was rector, sent his servitor, after nine o'clock at night, with a large bottle to fetch some ale from the alehouse. When he was coming home with it under his gown the proctor met him, and asked him what he did out so late, and what he had under his gown? The man answered that his master had sent him to the stationers to borrow Bellarmine, which book he had under his arm; and so he went home. Whence a bottle with a big belly is called a Bellarmine to this day, 1667.”

#Witchcraft #Paganism #Magick

Witch-bottles are probably quite familiar to many Pagans, at least as a concept. Witch-bottle isn't a poor little Witch in a bottle, or hold something Witches drink in their gatherings. They are more akin to a “bottled spell”. The tradition originates from British folklore, traveling with British immigrants to the Americas, if not further. Many modern Pagans have included Witch-bottles in their collection of spells, widening and diversifying this old tradition – and making it more comparable with their personal ethics.

A Bit on the History of Witch-bottles

The history of Witch-bottles goes back hundreds of years. The origins of this tradition has been dated to the 1500's. They were used most actively for a couple of hundred years. This is the same time when the Witch-hunts were going on. After this period, the tradition slowly waned. The last historical Witch-bottle was found in a cabin built in mid 19th century, in Pershore, Worcestershire (UK).

The actual bottle of a traditional Witch-bottle during the 16th and 17th century was a German stone bottle called “bartmann” or “bellermine” bottle. Similar bottles of stone material were manufactured in Holland and Belgium. The technique wasn't mastered in England before the 1660's and bartmann bottle manufacturing was rare in Britain.

The bottle got its name from a cardinal called Bellarmino only after the Witch-bottle tradition had already begun. These bottles had a round belly and they were decorated with a facial image of a grim looking bearded man and a medallion of stylized floral or natural imagery.

Even though these bottles were being manufactured actively in Germany long before the time of Bellarmino – who was against the Reformation – these bottles were given their familiar name as a satirical comment on the Cardinal. His bearded figure resembled the typical bearded man depicted on these bottles.[1] Later on, the bearded image was taken to represent the Devil, which suited well for Witch-bottles, after all — witches were considered as people allied with the Devil.

Glass bottles were also used, but according to my sources they were never as popular as Witch-bottles as were the bartmann ones.

Old Witch-bottles contained things like bent iron nails, human hair (head hair and pubic hair) and urine. Urine as an important ingredient of a Witch-bottle has been long known in folk traditions, but actual findings with the bottle still containing urine have been rare. However, all of the Witch-bottles found in England which were tested for urine, did prove positive. Other traditional items contained in Witch-bottles include small bones, thorns, needles, pieces of wood and in some cases heart-shaped pieces of cloth.

The bottles were most often found buried under the fireplace. Other sites include under the floor, buried in the ground there, and plastered inside walls. The fireplace is, from a magical point of view, a security risk as it has a straight connection with the open skies above. It was believed that the curse of a Witch or even a Witch herself in a shape-shifted form could get into a house through the fireplace. Another security risk was the doorway, as doors are opened and closed several times throughout the day. In addition to the fireplace, the bottles were often hidden near the doorway.

On the Original Uses

The most active period of Witch-bottle usage and the Witch-hunts don't coincide by accident. The fear of Witches produced ways of protecting oneself against them during times when slightest misfortune was easily interpreted as being caused by a curse put on one or another member of the family. From the point of view of a present day Witch, the original purpose for building a Witch-bottle wasn't that pleasant: they were intended to keep Witches and Witches' curses away. The contents of a Witch-bottle was designed to not only divert an attacking Witch, but also to cause her to suffer the agonies brought on by all the nasty things inside the bottle. To put it simply: to turn the curse back to the curser.

The urine in the bottle symbolizes the target of the curse. The curser and the target of the curse were believed to have a strong connection and the curse was believed to target not only its intended victim, but also the bodily fluids of the target. When the bottle was placed in a way that made it easier for the curse to meet with the urine (in the Witch-bottle) before the actual target, the curse hit the bottle and not its intended victim. This is why the bottles were usually hidden where they were. The importance of pubic hair and hair was similar to that of the urine.

Witch-bottles are very much a part of age-old traditions of sympathetic magic with its intentions of causing pain for the Witch with the contents of the Witch-bottle. According to folk beliefs, the use of Witch-bottles sometimes brought the Witch herself, writhing in agony, knocking on the door – begging for somebody to break the Witch-bottle and promising to reverse the curse.

The Witch-bottle was believed to be active as long as the bottle remained hidden and unbroken. People did go though a lot of trouble in hiding their Witch-bottles. Those buried underneath fireplaces have been found only after the rest of the building has been torn down or otherwise disappeared.

Modern-Witch-Bottles

Very generally speaking, the modern day Witch-bottles are very similar to historical Witch-bottles in their basic structure, even though their intended purpose has changed. The most common purpose for constructing a Witch-bottle today is capturing negative energies targeted at the constructor of the bottle, her family or her home. Even though some bottles are “mirroring” in nature, they aren't normally built to cause agony to the sender of negative energy/caster of curses. Some Witch-bottles are intended to change negative energy into positive one and then release it into the surrounding area. This kind of bottles could be classified as “guard and protect”-bottles.

The basic structure of Witch-bottles can be used for purposes other than protective: for financial gain, for helping with artistic creativity, to call forth positive energy (instead of “just filtering out negative energy”), for improving health, etc.

One could say that the basic principle is the following: practically speaking, a Witch-bottle is a container of some sort, usually a jar or a bottle, which is filled with objects and often also liquids which fill a given magickal purpose. The person making the Witch-bottle, or in other words, the one casting the bottled spell, can charge the objects magickally beforehand and build the bottle to work on this charging until the need of renewing the spell arises. Witch-bottles can also be built to recharge themselves by the energy they 'capture' for as long as the bottle stays unbroken, whether it be years or centuries.

Instead of magickally charging the items, one can build a bottle whose the powers are based on its contents, but cumulatively so, resulting with powers stronger than the sum of its parts. Also this version can be designed to be seasonal or “one time lasts a life time”.

What Do Modern Witch-Bottles Contain?

The typical contents of the basic protective Witch-bottle today is quite similar to that of the traditional one: bent iron nails (some say they are better if old and rusty while others say clean and unused are best), thorns, rusty razor blades, broken glass or pieces of broken mirror (some say breaking a mirror for Witch-bottle use causes bad luck, others claim that breaking a mirror for this particular use will not cause bad luck except for people sending negative energies to the bottle builder), or other sharp and dangerous “nasties”, urine of the bottle's builder, often also menstrual or other blood. One could use semen as the masculine counterpart for menstrual blood. The bottle is often a common tight-lidded glass jar, or a bottle with a rather wide mouth.

Other types of Witch-bottles may contain sand or different colored sands, crystals, stones, knotted threads, herbs, spices, resin, flowers, candles (no, you won't burn them inside the bottle), incense (you won't burn it either), votive candles, salt, vinegar, oil, coins, saw dust, ashes etc etc. Actually, everything used in “normal spells” can be used in this bottled version of a spell, the Witch-bottle.

Additional materials include candles and/or wax to seal the bottle/jar with. The rest of the materials depend on the ritual in question (if any) and the religion of the builder of the bottle.

On the Hiding Place

A Pagan living in their own house may be able to hide the Witch-bottle in the traditional way under the fireplace, under the floor, or in the walls. However, it is more common to bury the bottle in the yard in a place where nobody will accidentally break it while digging in the garden. One such place is behind stones under the stairs. For a Pagan living in a terraced house burying the bottle in the garden should work well – as long as you are careful not to attract too much attention to yourself while burying an odd object (the bottle) during the correct phase of the Moon, at night, with just candle light, wearing suspicious looking ritual garments.

Apartments can be a difficult place to live in when you're trying to find somewhere to hide a Witch-bottle. Or, at least it may seem like that! Digging a hole and burying the bottle in the yard may be not only difficult, but also quite likely not allowed. Nosy kids can dig the bottle up and hurt themselves on the contents. Not to mention that in the right (or wrong, to be more precise) neighborhood could cause lots of trouble for the Pagan attempting to hide a bottle in the yard.

However, the situation is not that impossible! The bottle doesn't need to be situated near the home in order for it to work. If you are constructing a bottle intended to be a personal safety guard, it can be buried in a forest or sunk in a swamp. With a Witch-bottle designed to guard a given home and those living in it, you can use a large flowerpot by the front door or on the windowsill to bury the bottle in to. In this case, the bottle should be small enough to fit in the flowerpot – with the plant!

Another idea I've heard is putting the Witch-bottle into a closet next to the front door, where it could easily do its job as a guardian and protector of the home and its inhabitants. However, this solution might cause some trouble if the same thing that happened to one Pagan happens to you: the Witch-bottle she kept in her closet worked very well – until it one day literally blew up. The bottle was of the very traditional type, so cleaning up after this wasn't that pleasant, as you can well imagine! While refining the idea further, we ended up putting the bottle in a covered bucket filled with soil and then putting the bottle inside the bucket in the closet.

For a Pagan still “in the closet” or living in something like student housing with a room mate these ideas may not be that usable. There's still no need to panic, as Witch-bottles can be made in miniature size, too. One witch working with test tubes in her professional life worked out recycling methods for test tubes as miniature Witch-bottles small enough to fit in the flowerpots on her windowsill. If you want to use test tubes, make sure you can close them tightly. There are also miniature bottles and jars available at various gift shops which can be used as well.

It should be noted that not all Witch-bottles are designed to be hidden away. Some are intended to be left out in the open, for example on the windowsill, on your altar or on your (work) desk.

Some Instructions

The next part contains some instructions for making Witch-bottles. I won't be including any particular instructions for rituals. First, because the exact rituals used depend on the religion of the person crafting the Witch-bottle and rituals aren't even always necessary. One doesn't even have Pagan religious inclinations for constructing a Witch-bottle. One of the persons who has made a Witch-bottle with my instructions is completely unaffiliated religiously, doesn't consider himself a Pagan, and is more or less an Atheist. He is, nevertheless, very happy with the results. Second, planning the ritual (if one decides to have one) can be considered an important part of constructing a Witch-bottle. As important as planning and gathering the objects used. Third, if you are using a pre-made ritual, you can easily end up repeating somebody else's words and copying somebody else's motions, without proper emotions. Finally, modifying things to suit you better is in this context not only allowed, it's recommended!

Basic Bottle for a Modern Witch

This is the tried and tested basic Witch-bottle, suitable also for modern day Pagans. The bottle is intended to be one that protects its maker, often also the maker's home and family, from negative energies. Depending on how the bottle is made and on the maker's Will, the bottle can be one that gathers the negative energies in itself (capturing), one that sends the energies back to where they came from (mirroring) or one that changes negative energy into positive (transforming). I would say, however, that this traditional Witch-bottle isn't the best suited one for the last option.

Materials

• Glass, earthenware or stone bottle or jar, with a tightly closing cap. Size depending on how big you can easily hide. Size doesn't matter that much, so be reasonable.
  • Protective gloves for handling items you'll be putting in the bottle. A Witch-bottle won't help you much if you manage to get a blood poisoning while constructing one.
  • Wax or candles to seal the bottle. Black is a good choice.
  • Another jar for “potty” if you don't have one. Aiming isn't that easy, especially if you're trying to hit something like a Witch-bottle. So, you'll need something to pee into – and of course you'll need your urine.
• All kinds of “nasties”: Nails, rusty and bent (you can bend them yourself, too). Pieces of barbed wire, thorns, burrs, pieces of glass and/or mirror, needles etc.
  • Some things to choose from: Menstrual blood or semen. You can drain menstrual blood from your menstrual pads or tampons. In order to get semen – well, you do know how to get it. Word of advice, though – if you are using sex magick as a part of your Witch-bottle building ritual, do try to remember that you were supposed to collect some of the semen to use in the bottle. It's not that easy to collect it out of your partner, you know. Other blood – get a sterile needle from the pharmacist and remember to buy some band-aids as well. You can also add your pubic or other hair to represent yourself. An egg can also be included.
  • Bandages should be readily available, in the case something happens. A lot of the stuff you're putting into the bottle is sharp.

Preliminary preparations

Gather all the necessary items, your bodily fluids being the very last ones as you don't want to store them even for a day. You can collect other items intended for a Witch-bottle over a long period of time, storing them until you have all the necessary items and enough of them. Items found on the ground suit the purpose well. Cut metal items into smaller pieces if necessary so that they fit into the bottle you've chosen. If you're using a very small bottle, remember that will need only a very very small number of each item or alternatively small items (broken needles, tiny nails etc).

Choose a date to suit your magickal workings best and plan your ritual, if these things are important for you. Waning moon is often considered a suitable time for building a Witch-bottle. The ritual can consist of just the visualization of the bottle's intended use.

You can use the following to help with your visualization:

Your bodily fluids are intended to symbolize yourself, they are part of your essence and are traditionally used in magick. Instead of having the negative energies hitting you, they hit your “representative” in the Witch-bottle, the part of your essence.

For a capturing bottle: The “nasties” inside the bottle are intended to capture the negative energies – the metal captures them, the glass confuses and cuts them, the thorns puncture them and iron (and egg) dissolve them. You can visualize the negative energies drowning in the urine. If you are building a mirroring bottle, visualize the glass and mirror mirroring the negative energy back to its sender or to grounding it to earth. For a transforming bottle you can use colored glass and visualize the negative energy transforming into positive one before continuing on its journey forward to benefit you, your home or the universe.

Choose the place to hide your Witch-bottle before you make it. Be sure you have all the necessary equipment like a shovel. By the time the bottle is finished, it's too late to start pondering “but where will I put this thing?” If you are going to bury the bottle in the ground, choose the place so that people or animals will not dig it up.

The Actual Making of the Bottle

Have all the necessary equipment and items at hand in a place you consider best suitable for the task, at a time most suitable for you. Cast a circle, if you feel one necessary. You can build the bottle and have your ritual at the site of where you will hide it or do everything else in one place and then take the ready bottle elsewhere to be buried.

Fill the bottle with items you've chosen until they form a disgusting mixture. Shake the bottle to mix the items, if necessary. If you are including an egg, don't break it and add it as the last of the solid items. Remember to leave enough room for it as well.

After this, add urine, menstrual blood or semen, or prick your finger with the sterile lancet and add as the very last thing a few drops of your blood. You won't need large amounts, blood and semen are considered potent, so few drops will do.

Close the cap or lid and seal the bottle. You can carve symbols of your choice (for example runes, a sigil), being careful not to break the seal. If this happens, remove the wax and start the sealing process again.

If you are going to go to another place to hide the bottle, clean up after yourself especially if there is any chance that somebody else will get to the place where you were building your bottle before you come back from hiding it! If you did cast a circle before starting, take it down. Remember to ground yourself (if you are creating the bottle at the place where you're hiding it, you can do this afterwards).

Travel to the hiding place and hide your Witch-bottle in a suitable manner. Banishing words suit the situation well and if you don't know how or don't want to use traditional banishing spells or something similar, you can even swear like a drunken sailor! You can bury the bottle upside down, putting more nasties in the hole you buried around the bottle before covering it all up. If you are hiding the bottle somewhere inside your home, hide it the right way up.

#Magick #Witchcraft #Paganism

So had my class last evening, missed last weaks and slipped out of the poets mindset, feel a bit more motivated now after doing last evenings class. Did some responses to other poems this is what i wrote.

Wonderings Paths following paths Wandering trails under woods, Scent of fresh damp leaves over streams, over fields, through shire and town Smell of fires burning. One step following another On the autumnal route, Cold chill feel of air on skin Plodding along on the trails forever For no sake but for the walk itself.

fagile life Fragility of life, Day in day out we breath, Breith after breith Go about a daily routine Have drama and joys Day in, day out we go about Not realising the fragility, Of are mortal coils.. We create a bubble of things, People and possessions, Activities to distract ourselves From the day in and day out Without being thankful, of truely Noticing are small insignificance The moment of now Then it's over.

Metamophosis Metamorphosis of seed to sapling to tree The ecosystem of growth all around Photosynthesis of light to energy The mycelium under the ground, Sharing its nutrients with trees above. Higher and far older than all other living things Mighty trees boroughs of sequoia and oaks Standing tall poking tree tops into the sky Mighty fortresses of nature Withstanding winds of gales, year in year out, Decade in decade out.

Disposable fashion The toxic waste of the worlds nations Pawned onto those in third world countries The toxic waste of a capitalist economy Forced onto an unwitting populus of the trendy Shameful fast fashion, faster than mcdonalds Half less tasty than the cardboard in bread. And far more tacky.

Got to use my 5 senses to discribe a place from memory for my homework. So need to set some time aside.

We are still using carol anne duffys bbc meastro course some useful infomation but glade i have a tutor too.

moving forward want to get into writing and reading pulp fantasy stuff so might do that here and rename the blog.

Thank you.

Well to be honest, it turned out that the days have passed as quickly as the sand trickles through our hands. And so I found myself late Sunday evening after dinner, sitting at the table. In front of me a flashlight and a small kitchen aid that I bought in the big Swedish shop the other day.

When I found this little treasure (aka garlic press), I took it in my hands and turned it back and forth. I was immediately fascinated by the wonderful clear design and its beautiful mechanics. A decision was quickly made to take it with me, and in the very same moment it was clear to me that I must take a photograph of this beautiful piece of product design and engineering art 😎

Back at the table. Feeling a kind of pressure in the meantime, I started playing around with the flashlight. I placed the press here and there, tried different angles of the flashlight – backlight, illuminating from the front, the side. Finally I turned off all surrounding lights and used the flashlight to illuminate the sieve backlit and placed in its cylindrical holder. When I saw the first shots I felt that I was on track... Well on the track of abstract, but not on the track of minimalism 🤪

Anyway I had quite some fun with this first set and tried out different ideas. But after a short view at the clock I got a little nervous, I must admit. Struggling shortly I turned on the surrounding light again and tried out completely different views at a shorter focal length. My goal was to have this really, really cool mechanics to shine up as the center of the take.

And so I ended up with this shot that I tooted Sunday night – after the deadline to be strict – but who cares 😉

I had no clear destination and somehow just followed my inner compass. I had no lights on and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. The gothic music I heard from my earbuds was a perfect support for this dark, foggy and somehow unreal night. When I walked down the small street, I reached a tree with a street lamp behind it. I was immediately caught by the light rays and sectors of light that built up perfectly through the fog, turning the leaves of the tree into perfect silhouettes.

So I set my tripod and did some shots of this quiet, dense scene – playing with aperture and time, while listening to the music.

I folded up my tripod, put it on my shoulder and continued my walk, still without any light other than that of a few street lamps and their dull reflections in the fog. I tried paths I knew from the day, but it turned out that they were too dark and didn't make for an interesting night shot.

Well, I turned around again and took the direct route across the meadows when I saw some street lights that made a nice picture from a distance. As I approached them to get the right angle for my prime lens, it wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be.

As I walked on I found myself in the middle of a rather mystical scene just a few minutes later. A backlit group of trees next to a shed caught my attention as they showed such wonderfully soft but distinct silhouettes. It's simply awesome how fascinating taking photographs can be on a foggy night.

I've posted both pictures as a goodnight wish to the Fedinauts out there in the wide Fediverse.

see within without: intent question blame shame judgment guilt

observing observing the mind no thing to: conclude gain obtain claim remain choose loose divide hide

see within without: preparing searching learning yearning

observing observing observing observing awareness isness suchness consciousness pure essence