Ovro

I am unkempt underdog I've seen world's unclean underbelly but I'm ambidextrously armed with old-time occidental order.

I'm howling at my moon sign how high ya think my star shines? Bark back dark banks of Black River Oh, mine is Sirius business.

Hey you one-armed wonder kids I know your cheats and pony tricks how you binariously bask in your black/white brain-cave disorder.

I sneer at the so-called snobs, those self-satisfying slobs, say Hefty Dark Lords in the cellars Oh, Light Knights in blinding armour.

All bridled to their idols, clinging to their little egos and their mental vir-gi-ni-ty when I'm in their vi-ci-ni-ty

Oh, you one-viewed wonder brains pour bleach inyer ear-tunnel drains Talking dirty cause smart's too hard 'though everything is all there is

They're grasping at their blinders clutching to their little egos couchging curses, enlightment wholesale missing marbles, thinking balls are brains

Yeah, those Dark Lords in their cellars oh, them Light Knights in blinding armour Seeing world with one eye only 'though everything is all there is.

But I'm the unkempt underdog I've cleaned world's unclean underbellies cause I'm ambidextrously armed with old-time occidental order.

#lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

Track labeled Underdog can be found on Id|entities, but it is an instrumental one. What is this tomfoolery? Are they different songs? Nope, they are the same song, I just couldn’t hear anybody (including myself) doing the vocals I had written, so I just left them out. Art moves in mysterious ways sometimes.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

keep quiet stay quiet

you're just a voice in my head you're just a voice of the dead

stay quiet be quiet

you're just a voice from the past you're just a voice that won't last

be quiet keep quiet

I keep my secrets shackled I keep my lovers boxed in

keep quiet stay quiet

your manhood on my mantelpiece your flesh cubed, wrapped in plastic perfectly preserved

stay quiet be quiet

your liver cut,friend an' served your guts fed to stray dogs

be quiet keep quiet

your heart dried fin'lly true size friends found you tasteless

keep quiet stay quite

your hide tanned sold on market little baggies made of skin

stay quiet be quiet

your bones bleached hung out to dry i hid them in plain sight

be quiet die quiet

stay in the box I put you in stay in your plastic wrappers

do not make me come and get you do not make me come and cut you

again

you just wait 'till I get home

die quiet keep quiet

  #lyrics #poetry #DarkAmbient  

Background info

Shut-off is a sister track to Absent, with both appearing on Id|entities. Of all the different voices and stories on that album, Shut-off and Absent definitely happen in the same universe. With the others one can speculate about but these two leak into each others, include voices from each others and tell two sides of the same story. Whether there are two or just one body containing the voices – that I leave for the listener to decide.

The video for Shut-off was fun to film and got me some worried looks in Tampere train station.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

you had nothing left to offer so you came to me

you sold your soul already your hide auctioned to the lowest bidder your body just a piece of cheap meat

i'm gonna mold you like fresh clay press you into my mold make you a hollow container pour my thoughts into you make them yours

i'm going to burn you in my furnace with you my willing victim my own private holocaust

#poetry #lyrics #darkambient

Background Info

One of the more questionable voices on Id|entities is speaking and their plan does not sound good.

I made this track a music video in 2011, so it is more like a demo video..

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

in my absense i've written poetry though not literally, given my current condition

i'll recite you a piece of my mind listen not that you could choose not to

it isn't great poetry me being out of my head lately you know how it is

“you cannot feel pity your soul's too old to die

none can see this you're too used to hide

to the eyes of the world you're cold you put on a mask do what you're told

you act housebroken, tamed, domesticated cut open, it's all framed and fabricated

close your eyes that I could not see your monstrosity your efficiency”

in my absence i've had nothing but time on my hands though not literally, given my current condition

in my absence I've been watching the world through your eyes and i've seen what is hidden but sometimes shows through the cracks if i know where to look

in my absence i've made myself your quilty conscience the piece of your mind you have misplaced

i've made myself your quilty conscience and that, my love, is literal

#poetry #lyrics #darkambient

Background Info

After two drafts ( first, second ) and one missed album, ideas floating around found their form and home on Id|entities as Absent.

The theme morphed into a male voice in a bit mysterious ”current condition”, writing and citing (bad) poetry to somebody who can not avoid listening. His captive? Is he the captive? Will we find out?

While the starting point years ago was trying to express personal feelings, by this point it’s about indentities and horror.

There’s a music video of Absent on YT, check it if you will.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Love ’n’ Light, Honey

Relax baby, It will only hurt a little It will only hurt

Love ’n’ Fucking Light.

Oh Honey, So sweet So sticky

#poetry #lyrics #darkambient

Background Info

This is the later track mentioned in Inducer. Lyrics have been pruned down to very basics: male voice (performed by Massimo from the Black Sun Productions ) calling and coaxing with promises of just a little pain, while a female voice croons about love, light, honey and the sweetness & the stickyness.

While Inducer on The Serpent Rite was part of a ritual where the magick worker dares to face the void and conquer all the little demonic voices trying to make the mage falter, this version of the love ’n’ fuckingn light theme on Vipera Aurea is more about me watching and being baffled by people participating in dating rituals.

Somewhere along the line Scarlet Calls developed into a jazzy live version people actually danced to.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I had a dream today Walking in the city I was dreaming of the A-bomb It came to take me away

Then you stood there Your hands outstretched Welcoming Crying with joy Staring at the mushroom cloud

Wind caressing your hair Flash licking your eyes Flame burning you to ashes

Your soul eaten Your shade still remained

I watched Moaning Enraged Jealous

The bomb was not for you It came to take ME away Why did it kiss you? It was for me… Why did it love you?

You saw me dreaming, didn’t you? You – stole – my – dream

I had a dream today It came for me.

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background Info

Oh my. This may need a bit of explaining.

Somewhere in 2003 or -04 I was chatting with a fellow genX:er (on IRC, as proper genX folks did back then) about growing up in an environment of A-bomb scare, bomb documentaries we both managed to see a bit too young, seeing magazines with maps of ”these towns would be targeted by Soviet A-bombs and this far from those towns would be devastated!. This, too, a bit too young. We chatted about the sleepless nights and nightmares resulting from all the tad too grown-up bomb info around us.

Malice’s Bomb grew out of those discussions. Malice, the namesake of my debut album, was a childlike character, a bit disturbed perhaps… or a bit disturbing. These are two quite different things, you know, while they can appear simultaneously.

Long version of this track was performed by me and the other genXer in question in 2004. There’s also a 59 second version made for a consept album of max one minute tracks. i don’t know if that got ever actually released, so I put it on Ten.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Give me your hell and I’ll give you some more (x 2)

Love & Light, honey Love and fucking light Sweet and sticky

Relax, baby It will only hurt a little Oh, honey So sweet so sticky

Relax, baby It will only hurt a little It will only hurt

This road ain’t to heaven This road is to you

Face the void see it stare back Face the void see what stares back

Is it your indifference? Your mis-placed pride? Illusion of silence curing all? Hoping avoidance would brake down the fall?

Is it your indifference? Is it pure selfishness?

Your shattering shell... Equation of feeling and fool

Face the void Break the circle Face the void Break the circle

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

This version (earlier ones being called Face or Fall and Face the void)was played live and then released on ltd ed CDr The Serpent Rite. Yes, this is Ceremonial Magick in sound form.

Parts of these lyrics got later lifted out of this context and released later on in a different track.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

Oldest surviving draft

met and parted perfect strangers you my heartache I your vorpal angel

slept a decade tired of dreaming

cried paint me scarlet call me a rose

by any other name it's not the same

talked to the hand your eye would not see me

tried changing it never did the want went away

met and parted perfect strangers you my heartache I your vorpal angel

Second draft

met and partied mortal strangers one a mirror one a vorpal angel

slept a decade grew tired of dreaming black hazy heartache woke up screaming

wailed paint me scarlet call me a rose it isn't the same by any other name

no game want gone away

left departed mortal strangers no more mirrors only vorpal angels

Vorpal Angel (EP version)

met and partied mortal strangers one mirror one vorpal angel

slept a decade grew tired of dreaming black hazy heartache woke up screaming

cried paint me scarlet call me a rose no other name is the same

no game (never, never came) want gone away

left departed vorpal angel (stop breaking mirror, be a vorpal angel)

no more mirrors only mortal strangers.

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Another one of those late 2003 lyrics of mine dealing with my life back then. See my post on Differentiaton Irrevocable. This is a story of my first, long lasting relationship in form of poetry. I am the Vorpal Angel, my then SO is the Mirror and the situation is me realizing things are about to fall apart.

Vorpal Angel is on the Vipera Aurea side of MtS/VA double EP.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

(We) meet, (we) join, (we) reach (pleasure)

Your eyes my reflection Voice, taking me deeper Breath, touching me mindless Lost in your senses

My skin your world Sex, seamlessly joining Voice, bringing you power Found in my senses

My skull open bursting connecting losing

All yourselves Mixed in with mine All myselves Contained in your senses

The bodies perfect match The minds trigger mingle

Higher, deeper Across the Abyss Floating, flying liquid, firm

The Void stares back Jealous and steaming

I'm fire We're fire I'm fire You forget In fire, you forget

I fire I fire you forget you forget Forget...

#Poetry #Lyrics #DarkAmbient

Background info

Yes, this is about sex. Great sex. Truly great sex. Intimacy felt everywhere under my skin.

Then – it was not there anymore.

Written in 2003, it is based on personal experience and didn’t find a home on any track or album. Too personal at the time, too much baring my soul and yeah... Life.

There more things change the more they stay the same, goes a saying. Don't know about that but I do know about this kind of loss.

Maybe, finally, in this phase of my life it is time to resurrect this and actually make a track out of it and feel good about what was?

Note the Void staring back? That idea sure was around that time.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.

I cannot feel pity my soul's too old to die

None will ever see this I'm too used to hide

I cannot feel pity my soul's just too old

to the eyes of the world I'm cold I put on a mask do as I'm told

they see me housebroken tamed domesticated ev'ry mother's dream

that isn't me

they see me soft-spoken chaste sophisticated

never truly seen

I'm dreaming of friends at last I'm dreaming of friends that last but I rather just dream than be met with another slap cold and wet

another blow on the bruise but it's all bruise now breaking the bones of my soul

insides are cut open framed fabricated

see me how you will

and... wild-minded dark stony hearted

all I've ever been

I walk heavy headed I do not understand...

not this world maybe next

my reflection turns away

it will not see me it knows what is hidden and sometimes shows through the cracks if you know where to look

#poetry #lyrics #DarkAmbient #ActuallyAutistic

Background info

Some of this will ne familiar to those who have been reading my posts lately – or have listened to Id|entities track Absent. Earlier version was called Mementropy, this version didn’t have a name.

This is from 2008, I think, and has turned more into a study of loneliness. Some lines within did, in fact, end up in a story / song on that very subject.

Looking back at this text, it ks very much written from the point of view of an as yet not realized autistic, trying hard to make sense of how they're being seen and so often so misunderstood in the world.

If there ever was a piece of lyrics trying to tell myself things, I could nominate this bit: “it knows what is hidden / and sometimes shows through the cracks / if you know where to look” as being about masking and how only those who spot the mask and the cracks see the actual me.

And, heck, this: “to the eyes of the world I'm cold / I put on a mask do as I'm told”. It may have taken me time to realise my own masking and that there was never anything wrong with me, just different wiring.

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Fedizen of the mastodon.art at @ovro@mastodon.art, come say hi.