Nilly Robot

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Maybe it's Thursday out there too, where things were normal. (From Tales from the Valley: Phantasmagory Shorts)

CW: blood, horror themes, mentions of violence


Seven died on a Thursday.

I can just see the calendar from where I'm cowering under the desk, rows of little red x’s that lead to a big smiley-face. That's really what does it, a bright red smile like the blood on the curtains, the walls, the crevices between my fingers.

Thursday, Thursday. It was always fucking Thursday.

Maybe it's Thursday out there too, where things were normal. That’s a morbid thought. Thursday at my empty desk in the dingy office park behind the gas station. Thursday in the apartment on the hill, the bathroom door busted off its hinges and a forest of grocery store plants dead on the windowsills. Briefly, I wonder if someone else lives in that apartment now, or if the rest of the world went ahead and ended too.

But hey, it's not like these are even my memories. It's not like this has anything at all to do with me.

So fine, whatever, it's Thursday, as if that's supposed to mean anything, and there's a big red smiley face to mark the occasion. Seven probably knew what was coming then, of course she did. I feel a twinge of rage at that, bubbling up through the stupor. The audacity she had to draw that, knowing what would happen. The nerve.

And maybe it’s because it’s one of those cheap calendars the admins at my old job used to have, tacky and badly typeset, filled with pictures of kittens in fields posed in an array of tiny hats, a collection of miserable, blank kitten faces staring into the camera, maybe that’s what finally snaps me out of it.

Hang in there, she'd say with a smile, watching them open me up on the table again. Yes, I'm sure she would think the whole thing was hilarious, if she could think about anything anymore.

God, how I hated her, truly.

My legs are stiff and angry when I pull myself up. I've been under the desk forever, or maybe a couple hours. It was hard to tell. Time was strewn around the floor in little bits and pieces.

And really, who needs time anyhow? What has time ever done for anyone? I'm better off without it, I tell myself, pushing my unease back under sludgy layers of apathy. What difference does it make to a thing like me?

Seven is probably still splayed out on the dining room table. Just for me. Just so I know what I probably did.

And it’s true. I flinch when I turn the corner, eyes dropping to the bloodstain painting the horrid, ugly carpet. The body looks happy, manically so. And you know, at least somebody is. That counts for something.

Are you satisfied, Mother Seven? Have all your dreams come true? I'm a proper monster now, and Seven got a vacation in whatever hell things like her go to.

She shouldn't still be here. It doesn't make sense, but sense is something that happens to other people. It's just like her to leave her cold carcass on the table like yesterday's turkey, making me look at what I probably did, acting like she was ever real to begin with. Oh, she'd think that was a hoot. My, how realistic, she'd say, shoving my face into it. See, that's what people aught to have inside them. Unlike you...

No one has cleaned up, or bothered to close her eyelids. Who would have? I'm the only one left now, the only one left. My head is ringing. The only one...

Apart from him.

Wherever he is. Does that even count? My awful owner's been awful quiet since...

He's been gone for days now, decades, months. My head has never been so blissfully empty without him in there screwing around. Maybe he's dead in a ditch somewhere, clutching his horrible little hands to his horrible little head, pretending it’ll all go back to normal in the morning.

And bless our malignant little heart, it just might.

Hilarious. I could scream. I could cry, if I had anything in me to wet the tears with.

At some point, I wander into the kitchen and make a cup of tea. I don't like tea, but it's better than staring at the blood on the curtains, the windows, the ugly blue cabinets. The body in the dining room... My shirt is cemented to my skin, tugging my armpit hair when I reach for a mug. There’s blood in my armpits and I don't even like tea.

The kettle is whistling harmony with my head. A major third, my brain supplies helplessly. Ding dong, Beethoven’s 5th. I consider throwing it through the kitchen window. That's what a proper monster would do, I think, and I'm a proper monster now. A terrible beast that ruins the carpet and lurks around snarling at calendars. I set the kettle gently back on the stove.

When I wander back into the dining room, the body is still on the table. Just for me. Just so I know what I probably did. For fucksake, she didn't even exist, why the hell is she still here for?

Looking at her is making my eyes burn, so I go back to contemplating the horrid, ugly carpet. Red splatters on lime green swirls. The red is my fault of course, but whoever unleashed their vision of midcentury misery on this unsuspecting pile of coal baron showboating did the worst of it well before I got here.

I'm losing the the thread. It's all unraveling now. The smell of blood and earl grey is making me sick, so I tip the mug out and watch my tea bleed into the mess around it. It doesn't matter what I do at this point, not that it ever did. The carpet is already ruined.

I'm making a noise like a giggle. It's not funny, so I must be crying. I don't even like tea and it doesn't matter even if I did because the tea isn't real. The house, the horrors, the body on the table. The fake wind-up monster clutching his fake mug of fake tea with fake shaking fingers.

God, how I understand the fear in their eyes now. It isn't real, I yelled, watching them claw their faces off with that horrible look in their eyes. It isn't real, it isn't real. God, how I killed them all with three ugly words and I wasn't even enough of a person to die with them. Black streaks of nothing slip down my face.

I'm feeling pathetic now, so I go back to the office to wait for time to pass again, for lack of anything better to do. It doesn't. It sits in pieces on the floor like an angry toddler, staring at me in silent accusation. The creak in the office chair agrees and I make a note to burn it later, along with the papers flung across the desk and the books lining the shelves behind me. Endless notes on the town, the victims, the fake plastic monsters like me. Rules, lessons, faith, belief. Books, trinkets, junk, mess. Paper monsters piled in great heaps against the doors and windows, suffocating ourselves with gleeful abandon.

Yes, there will be a lot of things to burn later, I think, idly picking flecks of gore from my nails. The calendar is boring a hole through my head from the wall, but I'm going to burn it later with the rest of the house and maybe then the ringing in my ears will stop.

I press my dirty claws into my face, but don't dig in. No, I'm too tired today and there isn't much of a point to it anyway. I wonder how well fiction burns, if it'll drift to the sky on a column of smoke or if it's carved itself in too deep into the hillsides.

Maybe I'll give it a try tomorrow.

—–+ #Horror #ShortStory #Writing #Fiction

_____________________ Hello! I'm Nilly. I write stuff and draw stuff. You can also find me at mastodon.art.

A monster reveals himself and a lot of awkward questions are answered. (From Tales from the Valley: Phantasmagory Shorts)

CW: horror themes, briefly: gunshot wounds, monster gore —–+

Well, the situation was well and truly teakettled. I'd really gone and done it now.

When I turned and looked at her, Jenna skittered back with a small, terrified squeak.

Fair.

I had a pretty good idea what I looked like right then, soaked head to toe in former wall-demon, too many legs arched angrily around me. All the focus I usually set aside to look like a human being had gone out the window because I was tired and pissed off and shot an unreasonable amount of times.

Joe had gotten four hits on me before he ran off. Black blobs of whatever the hell I'm made of oozed down my back. It would have been nice if he'd shot the horrible wall-thing while he was at it, but you know. Points for managing to hit anything, I guess.

My heart sank. This was probably the start of the end for them, then. The valley was a feedback loop after all.

But hey they'd lasted two, three weeks, give or take a month. I don't know, time is kind of messed up here. Good on them, though. That was better than some...

I hated this.

Why did this always happen? I didn't even really know these people. I didn't even like them. Of course I felt guilty, of course I felt like shit, but it was a lost cause.

I'd had enough. I rubbed my face and started going over my roster of hide-outs. I waved most of the gore off. There was no point keeping up the “real person” act now that they saw me for what I was. The bullet wounds would have to wait until I was out of viewing range, unless I wanted to arm wrestle with someone's idea of how shot to shit I was supposed to be.

Jenna was injured. Her nerve signals were screaming Leg! Leg! in the back of my mind. I felt a pang of guilt. Someone should probably help her. I turned to look again and she skittered further back.

“Stay away...”

“Your leg is broken,” I said, smooth and cool and definitely not still shaking like a half-spider, half-human chihuahua.

She flinched.

OK, someone non-abomination shaped should probably help her, but we were experiencing a shortage currently.

“There's... There's splints and morphine in the laundry room. I... I dunno where they got the morphine from though,” I muttered, “so maybe just, uh. Maybe don't.”

“What...” she squeaked, and honestly yeah. What indeed.

What was the point? What did it matter? I felt sick to my stomach. It didn't, that's what. She'd be dead in a week, maybe less if she was lucky. Damage done. There was no use sticking around making this lady's day any worse.

“Wait,” she said before I could vanish.

I hesitated. This was a mistake because, for both emotional and injury-related reasons, I needed to get the hell out of there.

“You're hurt.”

“No,” I said. “You just think I am.”

She stared at me blankly.

“You think I got shot, so I did,” I tried again. It was more complicated than that, but now didn't really seem like the time for nuance. “Like the thing in the wall. It's why I was trying to distract you.”

“Oh.”

She was quiet for a while. Assuming that satisfied her morbid curiosity, I turned to leave again. No such luck.

“Then if I...”

The pain in my back began to fade and I could feel my shoulder muscles knitting back together. Honestly, I was perplexed. there was clearly some kind of misunderstanding going on here, and what's worse is she was good. Too good. Mind like a steel trap, to flip something like that so quick. This was going to be a problem.

“What are you doing?” I asked and the confusion must have been enough to offset my horror-movie face. “Why—”

“You can't just walk around bleeding everywhere,” she said with a sniff. “It's unhygienic.”

I made a weird little involuntary giggle at that. Suave. I can't imagine what that must have looked like coming out of... whatever I am.

“Right, wouldn't want to mess up the furniture,” I gestured at the ruined living room.

“What was that thing?” Jenna shivered and surveyed the wreckage. “For that matter, what are you?”

“Some asshole's personal problems,” I muttered, politely ignoring the second question, less politely ignoring the little voice that said I'd just answered it anyway. “Something he made up. A reoccurring nightmare, maybe, or some kind of phobia.”

“It looked like his uncle.”

Yikes.

“Maybe he should uh. Probably go do a therapy about that then, instead of making it our problem. Guess that's kind of off the table here, though.”

Jenna grimaced. People never liked my sense of humor. Oh well.

She gave me another wary up-and-down before hoisting herself on an overturned couch. Her leg gave out from under her and I dove to stop her impaling herself on a pedestal table without really thinking about how that might come off.

She let me help her back down anyway. I tried my best not to loom.

“What are you?” she asked again. I still wasn't having it.

“Great question. I have no idea,” I said to the ceiling. It was spattered in wall-demon. I looked at the floor instead, which was also spattered in wall-demon. After a minute or so of awkward non-looming, I felt bad about leaving it there. “Well. That's not true. I have some idea, but I don't like the answer.”

“I see,” she said.

We spent a while where I stood there not elaborating and she sat there on the floor with a broken leg.

“Fine. Can you help me up, please?” she sighed.

I carried her to a less hazardous part of the living room and set her down on one of the few intact-adjacent couches. I guess we were overlooking the whole abomination thing now, then. That was good. When I went to stand back up, she kept a hold of my arm, eyes wet and pleading.

“What's happening to us? What is this?” she whispered. I felt that awful sinking feeling again. “Please tell me. Please.”

I can't handle this shit. I'm not cut out for it. I hate it, hate it, how I couldn't just let anything go. Why did I care?

So I confessed.

I explained the valley, explained why she was there. I let her cling to my arm as I explained what was probably happening to her brain and felt a little bit like dying.

She cried, she begged, and the whole time she gripped my arm like I might disappear. Which was a fair enough read, honestly.

When she asked if I wanted this, if I did it on purpose, I didn't have the heart to lie. The righteous anger was mortifying. The pity was horrific. I have enough of my own pity, thanks. The fact is, it was my fault she was here, no matter how much say I had in the matter. I did this to her and I hated that I couldn't make her understand that.

We sat like that for a while, arm in arm, her asking trembling questions, me looming over her like the terrible thing I was.

“Well this sucks,” she said, eventually. Boy, didn't it. “It must be tough. Watching this happen again and again.”

I had nothing to say to that, because if I opened my mouth I was probably going to cry and today had been awkward enough.

“You don't have to answer. I understand,” she said. Bless her, she did not, but the sentiment wasn't lost on me. I was not in the right head-space for another round of sentiment though, so I tried to excuse myself for the third time that night.

I gently pulled my arm away and tucked it behind my back with the rest of my awful appendages. The legs were starting to fade, but I still kept them folded away as out of sight as I could. They weren't really meant to bend like that, but they weren't really meant to exist either, so my aching joints could kindly shut up.

“You're in a lot of pain. I can tell from your nerve signals,” I said. Very cool, a very normal-human thing to tell someone. That train had sailed though, so the least I could do was try to be useful. “Let me go get the medical kit.”

“Can't you just fix it? Like I did for you?” she asked.

“No. That's... different. Best I could do is convince you it's fine. You'll hurt yourself even worse that way.”

And see, that was the thing. Real people didn't just bounce back once no one was looking. Real people also didn't have Cronenburg moments when they got too distracted and forgot to be person-shaped. Usually. The point was, real people died when things like me fucked with their sense of possibility, messed around in their heads and generally went around scaring the shit out of them. The valley was a feedback loop, after all, and I was the engine driving it.

I really, really needed to leave.

“Do you think Joe is alright?” Jenna asked as I turned away, a little quiver in her voice.

I felt around for him with my mind. Joe was curled up in the basement hugging his Colt .45 like a teddy bear.

“He's fine.” He was probably not fine. “After I get something for your leg, I'll go try and reason with him.”

“You shouldn't,” she said. “He'll shoot you again.”

“Probably. I'll be paying attention this time, though. I'm harder to hit when I'm paying attention.”

It's true. I'd only been shot twice before, and once was my own fault.

By then, I'd regained enough control to have the normal amount of legs again, but the fact that the real-life person in the room was still convinced I was a real-life Halloween costume was overriding most of my other adjustments. I could feel the bolts of static rippling across my face when I looked back at her. I didn't really want to think about what she saw when she looked back at me.

—–+ #Horror #ShortStory #Writing #Fiction

_____________________ Hello! I'm Nilly. I write stuff and draw stuff. You can also find me at mastodon.art.