I had a dream once about a stalker and the internals of the dream were interesting. Like psychic powers and everything the mechanics and rules in this dream verse were amazing.

I developed rules for evading the other person. Down to like rose quartz as a psychic blocker.

Including as to why it started.

Although having been stalked in real life I'm not sure I'll ever put it to paper. Perhaps I'll write it and then just not publish one day.

But perhaps the reason for the dream was trying to rationalise why the stalking happened.

The dream was years ago. The stalking happened a decade before that. It was interesting ré reading my diaries from when the stalking happened. I was 17 at the time, I was frightened and very angry.

Even now over 2 decades later it gives me pause.

I don't think I could publish a story about possession in that way. But perhaps there's a way to rewrite the idea.

What gets me in the dream that I cinematically lit one particular scene, where my character is looking right at her stalker and he can't see her, or detect her with his telepathy because she's wearing a rose quartz necklace.

He's lit in blue light.

And she escapes because the nightclub is the cotton club in Aberdeen in the 90s. With entrances on Union Street and justice Mill lame

The thing is the start of the fleeing was in Edinburgh on the A71. On a bicycle.

But it's definitely one of the reasons why my alt account fights for Privacy.

I'm very privileged to be able to campaign for Privacy under my real name.

I'm also very privileged to live in a different country from my stalker now.

Still that terror and anger at the same time. Sometimes it feels remote. Then it comes, to the surface. Especially when I read my own words at 17. Doubting myself. Wondering if it could have gone a different way.

Truth is, no it would not have.

When I look back at my life, and think about the efforts relatives did to try to find me, it seems a bit unreal. Like from a novel or something.

Or remembering being stalked as a teenager by a man in his 20s. While dealing with other crap from other boys in school who were pissed off I didn't like their friend in that way. (although that boy didn't stalk me, which is a pretty low bar).

It seems like a crazy plot from a drama. But it happened.

Plus so many other folks will have had similar circumstances.

Which makes me a little sad, and very angry.

When I read my diaries from that time, I was sad, angry and very scared.

So progress I guess. 

Although one of the boys who was pissed off with me, did apologise 6 months later, which was nice.

Although by then I'd somehow deleted that out of my head, so at the time of the apology I was very puzzled as to why he felt the need to.

#writing #DreamNotes #WorldBuilding