fieryzard

I won't start by saying I'm disappointed in myself because I did not do as intended this week. I'm proud of myself because I was able to get back into writing. However, one problem I've encountered is that if I spend my energy writing, I cannot draw that day, and if I spend my energy drawing, I cannot write that day. What a dilemma. If any of you do both, I'd love some advice or acknowledgment.

I had to take rest time for body and health reasons. My mental health was so-so last week, so there was no art or routine. And because I was not at my desk, there were no Morning Pages either. That's alright. I heard my body, and I answered. I used my time for other things that equally support my creativity: writing, playing video games, and watching anime.

• Weight Training – No weight training this week. I needed to rest my body.
• Morning Pages – No morning pages this week because I was not at my desk.
• Artist Date – I played Sticky Business while watching Twitch streams and Given (anime). It was nice. I feel like I want to get back into fandom and creating merch.
• Journal Sketches – No drawing this week.
• Gesture Drawings – No drawing this week.
• Anatomy Studies – No studies this week, although I started watching a video about how to study Bridgman.
• Misc Studies – No extra studies this week.
• Illustration – I missed the goal of getting my illustration done in two weeks. That's okay. I got quite a lot done in one week, and I would have finished earlier had I had two normal weeks. However, I opened it and glanced at it a few times to study my next move (I was kind of stuck because of the composition).

On Writing

I mentioned this on a stream with anqi a while back, but I've been revisiting my approach to The Thread of Caona. A few years ago, I decided to write a story and make it a webcomic. This whole time, I've been struggling with the plot and, as such, the drawing portion because my ADHD causes me to have problems processing information. That means writing, especially long stories, becomes very overwhelming because I can't connect ideas together, and text on a page just becomes a wall of overstimulation.

Additionally, I've been doing a lot more inward exploration, and it turns out I'd like to write a lot more stories in my lifetime than a long-running webcomic allows. Running a webcomic also means I'd have to dedicate my days fully to it, putting aside other things I enjoy doing more than webcomics, like illustration. Frankly, I'm not willing to give that up.

So why did I make it a webcomic in the first place?

In part, it was because of a bad experience I had in art school with a toxic person that I carried with me for longer than I should. I was only able to understand what it meant and what I wanted to do after joining Mastodon because I was allowed to get away from toxic mindsets in this space.

Secondly, I also really wanted to make something story-oriented with original characters. The common belief seems to be that “People are not interested in OCs unless you make a webcomic.” I've found that to be largely false. If anything, my engagement has dropped because I turned to comics and away from what I'm passionate about, resulting in a creative block. This does not mean comics equals a less engaged audience; that is a sweeping generalization. I think if you're passionate about comics, it will show in your work. For me, it's not that I'm not passionate about them, but that my brain has a very distinct way of showing me the story, and I'd like to be as true to that as possible so that I'm not fighting against my ADHD, but using it to my advantage to become more creative.

I don't regret the path I took—not at all. I stretched myself as far as possible to discover how far I could go, and along the way, I discovered where my interests lie. The story of Karana, Elpis, and Rytar has not ended yet, and I'm excited to share with you in the future what I've been working on and exploring.